The psychology of simplest living, via my stories of many years truly simplest living. Real ones - not earnest or pious.
Ten years a landloper. Time to tell those tales, too.
Ralphschism.com My permanent one home online started 22 feb 2023.
Start at the beginning (first 'post' - click 'older posts' bottom right hand corner ). Themes are developed and then woven together - a series of regular essays. Some in handwriting; some audio/vid.
ONLY peaceful nice content here. 07958 5263eight1
nice short title for the url to spread needed.....(ooooh i didn't know you could do that - put their emojis in a title, i say 'their' even if theyre not the problem as despite every nonce speaking of him - gosh he looks like every so called a bit-more-middle-class emigree here, bingo...
and his dire book that blames the 2014 algorithm change for all the kiddies and their one way journey up into a placcy bag...
Nope started a fair while before, and thats what my chronicle is about, only, even if the same parents then whom effetely couldnt even organise a day in the country for their kids, living innit, on stolen snake oil reserves, made down south, inevitably precisely the same parents who colonised all the rural 'green' organisations and invented about ten more per person so they may be Missiah... and of course just the same complete lack of focus or even love for their kids, means that the rivers are even more ferked over the twenty years that gradually they rose to the top of the scummy pond only scummy as they rose to the top...
none will admit to this one as (god it heard it 'live' on stage lastereve "affirmations" ...now i really get it..... )😱 as it doesnt fit in with their "abundance" of everything except their inability to admit their ways have...failed. Indeed wrong word, as to have 'failed' pone has had to have tried to DO something real in the first place.
🙏 ...so of course that one is the ultimate first aid kit: dont dare even think about my ACTS ... or i will clap and the coppers come a runnin.... as you're not "nice"...
we shall come back to nice inabit - splendid example this morning in good old USA at 6am the two 'sides' no not divided as they all need the same big fat SUV's just to commute back n forth to kindergarten in a city ..
" the lesbian was stalking ICE...".....
" our caring official response is in our official slogan! 'Minneapolis nice' " )
so yes of course nobody ever does anything i had no idea when 150% of the lanyard class (see audio with 3rd sector or lanyardists in the title 5 or 6 mths ago) - the extra 50% their imaginary faery friends whom are going to DO it - what's necessary, instead of them... and anyway too bust writing poems for the 'community' and inevitably on your taxpayer cash,
trickle down to the children, unable to make a dash...
(so dire
moreso than the eponymous very old out of tune choir)
"a poem called scared wound"
gradually all one has heard for five years this self pitying claptrap. Projection. So, because always performed by someone who has clearly plenty cash to eat well
and appropriately show-dress.
But the previous fifteen i have chronicled its development....and net effect
And it may seem like i care ... given up except one last moneymaking scheme
Because its ALL everyone seems to want, healing (after the necessary project-their-wound, very very long intro)
and thats the point.
Ive never needed not only no healing,
but to not even speak at all about any wound or even REAl fatal lance in the side
so a logical rationalisation as i am quite normal
is at least, their 'methods' fail.
Nope NOT as every single one has now been trained to repeat until they are Monty's Dead PAarrot
"resilience"
if one must 'persistence' is my end of the ten year road, final word
our own chess club started and failed...for weeks... kid saw dad had so failed it's daft and embarrassing. .... and then....
in a substack audio 3ish weeks ago its all linked
right... the point
over a decade ... our operation obviously mine... total 100% ped pipering many kids always solo
all sorts of waifs 'n stray collected and always 100% success...
self interest - kids need buddies and some stuck as that over time
On no money ever
My total 100% only identity -it takes rather a lot of time and energy to be master of actual noncermonies, just doing a village to raise a fucking child, not to go fucking mad....
especially as without any doubt a fair bit of real (not via paid friends screwing the council for the contract, to - and i knew them..... rarely meeting their paid for kiddies in woodland or festival skills school, in the eye...and certainly NEVER having a joke and laugh with them as its against health 'n safety and too real for their Instagram - their one dimensional parents may not understand, its how to raise a child in 3d...)
nobody has ever heard me moan or claim hurt about my total 100% loss a kid who never even rode her 4 year old pony above properly - that we had spent 4 years in excruciating battle with just to get him not to ave an endless high spirited thoroughbred [£80] laugh and maybe keep still sometimes.... in that she was stolen coinciding with its balls bein' chopped off, at which point theyre maybe a tad easier to ride....
nor in fact ever even state i would like any harm to come to the two who did the nickin and 5 or 6 whom were there on the periphery in one way or other (not 'state' they wouldnt dare... nope, the others, far more dangerous when theyre jealous, : ordinary people, even my own awful Biba-addicted dodgy Judas of a mother)
but the thing that few would even understand is that i knew full well 100% scientifically fact that loads of working and wandering outdoors in youth, as i had, IS the best prophylactic, period. Especially for fucked up parents as i had always at war who always screw up their kids more...just as her 'other household' did as sure as ferrits are ferrits...
And the healing as described. It works... but i couldnt even ensure that ten year plan, ever worked.
And all i ever hear is cleverer and cleverer versions of moan moan moan...
Now...if you drink too much and you know you do, as punishment for being so so self pityingly MEAN and never buyin me a coffee ... listen to this BBCapproved extremely THE Sourcetoo approach to your ills....
asd i guarantee you for a 100% fact as only real heterosexual parents know is what civilisation used to be based on.... facts that maytoo also effect your own child's future, no matter what has happened...
you won't....stop
i told you why not in one of them above long boring waffles.... as if i don't know anything at all...
i know how to over a decade spend thousands of hours with all sorts of random kids as we pied piper meandered....
and not one ever didnt go away 100% happy...and thats their random lazy parents...
and if i had had one slightest accusation in this land of almost compulsory false allegations ask and of the other actual teachers...
it certainly would be there on an OLggle search of yours truly...
That took quite some doing....
But i wouldnt ever risk it again .... (as the lovely teacher a few weeks ago did hear from me ... 'exclusive' .. the land where nobody even values a true confidence... )
Now, why does Sally need to avenged...
Sally from Pstyshire left due wifebeatin dinosaurs, her folks...
decades ago and the only one as real role model up in the hills rain snow making her hectare of veggies grow
chickens too though not our ridiculous ever expanding Durrelesque menagerie..
Because having used and absused as friend with 'benefits' for some time, knowing she needed a husband for the rest of life...
i ,made the mistake of ... looking for one for her and found...him
He an ammalgum of Esienstein, those blokes up above... but handsomer and funnier.... and with as he told the two of us over the weeks it took for my matchmade
he was a wellness lifecoach guru in ... guess where
a place i had no interest in or knowledge of other than their buckets and spade
PAstyshire
ands Sally was my one real trusted friend, ally.. and toughest country person, tougher than many a so called man
Pathetic Tortoise Media with their pathetic Miss Ohh Jenny
The Hampstead shamaniac witch screwing the upper middles who could afford to lose their many a hundred thousand to child-like absurdest trusting a madwoman
and her male Osteopath enabler
had nothing...
on him....
To be cont
yes... they all look the same ... DE Botty upgraded to have some hair to detract from their ....well there is something far worse than even Ashram smiles
And i don't get it, even she.... doesn't get it
now all the recent nonrantings as i certainly couldnt care and you have to care to rant..and one shouldn't care in Brito-lite as nobody actually likes you if they smell you REALLY do rather than merely project of course you do.....need amalgamating at some point into... one...as its all connected...
In that it is MY fault that i have twice been careless and firstly plugged in to a parish hall socket for an evening, and secondly now in a house of ill repute i didn't/haven't kept checking if the wobbly adaptor plug is soundly where it should be and thus my laptop hasnt got to the blissful assumption of 100%
and i'm not going through another hour here!
Anyway
it has been such a pleasure who would have thought
Right now for the last four years - well, three and a half really, all this has i thought got a bit worse but i never knew that at The Source it has been embodied in their noncespeak for even more years, everywhere, and ....
well the poor children if they ARE taken out into the 'public spaces' have to put up with .. " and now we have a poem called Sacred Wound...."
to be cont inamin
in the best poise sat high up, ever... so as to max out on 38% left
even if i decry the word art unless it truly does have The Sublime innit and lifts your soul to want to just ... be .....Malala's dad
Now one has to distance onesself from "North WAles" even if i only like sweltering heat where i never swelter its just the weather
as.... in the late 70s it was crystal clear... the genuinely rural gentle and kind peeps all lived in my poorest quarter of the country....
and went to my comprehensive school where ONLY extremely mild grass was available for a few of us in the bogs....as an ALTERNATIVE to beery boring beer bores...
and being a happy shepherd atop actually proper hills (diggin' out real sheeps from snowdrifts not for a few hundred quids fleecing of the tourists who'll keep it in their garage mouldering away til its ready to go in the bin - never the compost as thats un 'hygienic' (it astonishes me - photo series one day of so much compostables left out for the council to collect when theyve acres of back garden)
Anyway... Oswestry is where the really nasty drugs started - literally that was the borderline .... like the humble real North Wales english genes ones never went there... dangerous bleak nihilistic and rubbish pubs full of nasty drug dealers even then....
None of which interests me but when one hears over some years every single BBC woman who has just done 20 minute compulsory pieces on saying nasty things about women or anyone except them with such utter earnest solidarity with the insultee ...
and then a few years ago the grand finale of his Succession is to be aired every single one utterly gushing at the gusset with total 100% solidarity with all those sat on the edge of their fancy London flat gushin at it....
..... and now their god, him, who wrote it, from Oswestry, has his Desert Island....of only fawns awaiting his stone age bow and arrow
because sorry even if 'well written' indeed superbly written.....
what however did he write: nothing but the worst sometimes funny but generally sick toilet-humour filth ever....
someone should start a 'case' .... conspiracy to send every woman in the world 'dick picks' as i had no idea it was a thing until every other scene has some mad young man sending an ok older woman dick pix....
and thats what the women of the BBC actually enjoy - the facts of their always-nuance and giggles do evidence.... sorry, you can't have it both ways...
Anyway end of polemic (film made yesters one is daft if one thinks ANYone 'cares' about anything - that was my final onion skin layer i needed to tear off and eat in front of you as self flagellation, job done) nobody cares about anything other than themselves and their joining in with uncomunal truly awful projections ....in fact over the line smut....
so if he says "art is mainly about creating tone".... mine is perfect. And at least consistent.
now i am a pacifist or walkawayist, as you almost always can...
And now at last perhaps who knows because what's the reality? a rare example of a European people pleaser (or gibber, or smiley fake) the seemingly perfect and fabulously televisual Alexandra, owner - said she built her charitable refugee centre with her own hands; guru of the charity sector in Brussels - 'empowering' beggar refugees via workshops they could hire for free and 'empowering' themselves via a career in fashion, though i gradually realised infected by spending so much time in London fundraising ...
But you 'invest' about five years believing she was the one true ultimate whitey Malala - in fact Malala and Malala's passionate and brave father in one person....
100% "save the brown women from having to dodge the traffic ..begging or running from those who would cut off their clits so they might not ever know the power of a bit of navel fun.."
So a few years ago when the bravest people ever to have existed the young Iranian women get ranty about their limited fashion choices...
(uwww i rit a poem in 2010 that is more than good its the one good thing i wrote and is about the bravest person ever extant the Egyptian - hmmm thats a coincidence better not say! woman i imagined was being killed for her brave action and even her state goon killer knew as he was putting the bullet in her head through 'The Ring' of his gun he knew he would never meet another female person worth wanting to marry she was so perfect but he would have been shot by his boss, had he not dead parroted her ... .... and even had to successfully defend it in court against a fat journalist who was jealous .. so dobbed me in, accusing me of wanting to shoot her myself! and it didnt come by autotyping it arose in my head one night fully formed ina freezing winter of 10/11 at about minus 15 infact for weeks....... but to find it is a whole day operation!)
LAst time: "Alexandra .. you know the Queen.. you are queen of divine goodness in the third sector all based on empowering young brown women.... GET YOUR [big FAkebook, but not the usual Brit 1000 a modest 500] 'NETWORK' on the streets of Brussels in solidarity ...at least as they are being hung drawn and quartered by those pesky Gasht-e Ershads [another good example of 'morality' even if rather in the inverse, fpor the GWerkians who don't know what an actual hatecrime is] they may just have as their last thought in thios one and only reality we can ever know of.... maybe someone will have put my name on a placard in the streets of Brussels.."
And to my amazement hence i schismed even back then in truth ... ghosted or rather simply blanked by someone in a society which doesnt use that as default setting as soon as something not in their playboook is said or emailed...(Europeans never block you though which is so interesting..)
Anyway (note to self ultyra reminder, not only his awful line about " in evil times like these there ios only love" which is incorrect as theres pretty much exactly the same amount of blood and baddiness today as 20 or 30 years ago.... they (them like him) merely ......project.. thats all they do, project some fake care for the fancy hat passed around for 'donations' or to get a job in the BBC...
which is even more evil as the world was indeed on a trajectory mid 80s to a far more progressive [ good meaning] intl human rights egalitarianism and even greenism.... until my whole generation forgot to grow up beyond being about 25 when we are naturally self obsessed and feel shit iof we are not quite coming up to the program (which i now realise IS what they love - the feeling shit... perpetual masochism in love with their projected fake 'pain' .... ...and REALLY take part.... so as to have kept that positive momentum
Anyway thats of course not scientifically provable, but the amount of wan and strained faced single middle aged people is...
its extraordinary!
Ok one could allow that maybe even 25% are the seemingly compulsory lesbians even if the census said its only 2.5% of either sex...
None of my business but the aloneness is so rediculously stark... i never imagined it could be like this....
and i know who is the guilty party, even if it was PAulo Coehlo way before even Eckhart Tolle revved up his horrid little trafficking operation via his so so subtly prostitutional books such as By The River P... I sat down and wept. (undoubtedly at least 90% female readership, just like Power..and The Salt Path, too - by THEM) . knowing secretly that ".....some far more perfect guru man with sexy South American Inca good looks and far more clever wordiage like 'relationality' instead of muck and soil=veg in nouveau Charlotte Churchspeak , will come and fix my weeping of course so lets weep at the useless gurus around me who i never listened to as i knew there was a fabulously perfect guru up over the other side of the hill so its all their fault these local gurus who tolerated me for years blessme......as long as the traffic isnt too bad ..."
...i mean at least if brave Iranians are crushed to death by bulldozers or hung by cranes in groups they are dying ...kindof, a bit, in real 'community' ... knowing there is some solidarity....
but along came PAulo and then even worse 'MAster' Tolle... and the fates sealed every fate forever ... total loneliness knowing there's a bloke over the other side of the hill who 'listens' like Tolle's imaginary version his imaginary friends probably preach at himtoo while he can never sleep...
But even for the true baddies, like Paulo and Eckhart one must never hurt them... ever.... though for the baddies some kind of punishment' or inconvenience musrt be used to make ones point to everyone else..
perhaps an experiment: kidnap Tolletoo ... tie him up on a chair and set up a video camera as he loves that...lots of nice yogi tea and incense candles -- the 100 quid ones even he's earned them, and smoothees too tghese peeps need their need for the gentlest of baby food fully self individuated........ and play on a big screen at reasonably loud volume, but not torture-painfully loud, endless Eckhart Tolle videos to him for him.... for eternity if necessary as his perfect poise and grace and projectile vomit will of course mean he is going to liove forever...
And lets see or let the world see, just how long he lasts, as a human being....
And what of the so so many human beings he leaves in his wake...i see them everywhere in Doonshire all walking alone.... so much aloneness and i can smell by sixth sense what's been on their bookshelves....
of course displacing it all to " the world is full of so much new evil out THERE...
"
means your real domestic terrorists who have indeed hollowed out so many once humans into hollow shells, the gem of their pearly youthful self long stolen , ghosts even....will walk scott free ... its known as ....well i believe a certain Orangeman is very good at diversionary tactics
even if the number one eejit, Oggle can never ever consistently order a multiple upload of photos - random which way they end up, or down, read from the bottom, up
but i forgot the best line, as i don't stop just write and see what happens, and its NEVER ever going to be anything thats what the rational knowings always feel like, until you just...let go and do it
even without the big line..i shall have to save for later
later ... is all day trying to fix yesterday, here
even if this today is part of it.....
all that 'knowing' how ill and fat and can't really stop the pop you are... can't really be different
which won't be completed until tomorrow guaranteed as a lovely warm wet day long planned to be used being indoors..
(memo item seeing them indoors today on the only totally decent day for several weeks - warming up and dry, knowing its raining for a week from tomorrow.... NOW i get it! .. all sat cross legged in their rich womens shmaniac wellness and generally lying about caring about 'nature' workshop up in the elite village hall in the hills indoors on the ONLY best walking day...... all so utterly butter wouldn't melt in their mouths worthy... sums it all up.
But that's a technical matter of merely 'persisting'; rambling on, outdoors, lots, huffing and puffing, is actually scientifically proven to be very good for your 'wellness' ... but then all that 'networking' over caca is of course necessary to be able to pay for the quite a few expensive motors outside... and trums actually doing wellness things or even better chopping the elderly neighbour's logs when theyre getting on a bit so they maynt be able to do it themselves... which is scientifically from about 80 as a mean ....
Anyway to the point. Though it needs adding ion elegantly to the previous chunk, and illustrating a LOT...
All one ever hears in all of Dooneshire - it was bad enough in Pastyland, but here it's compulsory to have something 'wrong' with you and usually fairly exotic at that...and of course 'mental health' trumps everything as it's their own unique self-actualised plenished adventure and experience that absolutely everyone else is so in tune with, informed via the latest workshops on it, and cares about (until they die of it and then their corpse 10 weeks later nobody bothered to see if a tree fell on their head metaphorically speaking and the smell proves the point..... nobody actually EVER cared one iota or HiggsBoson about your compulsory 'mental health' you never discover until yes you died of it and it's too late ...)
so yes... in short even if it's SO much more three-book interesting, and i don;t care one iota about this whole region, it is merely the key to understanding thirty dull years based in my last one... as there it became gradually 20% ish precious and most irrational people gradually colonising (most from the South originally even if they usually try to lie and lay false trails, especially when much of their Southtime was resident in The Priory.. or working for JPMorgan or Monsanto - the same thing ) irrational as their lives didn't/couldn't work, and they could never admit it, which is actual wellnesswank etc.. and all they ever wanted to say was 'community' but didn't quite have the affront to be so fraudulently brazen when they dont know how one works in REAL life... and that its impossible to get one working pretty much anywhere in YUK especially where they say 'community' a lot.
So, then, i was confused as the minority types are never clear about who they are .... they meekly only allow out an itzty bitzy bit of themselves... i had assumed they were indeed unique, trying to sort of bodily resonate with being in the middle of nowhere surrounded by REAL bigot dinosaurs getting fat watching SKY TV all day only as they don't know how to make Fox work their so beery fat 'n lazy....which is what most of the REAL countryside actually is....
BUt thats just the way its always been... what i care about as i have empathy even if a tad self-interested, is the industrial compulsory moaning that became default over 10 years ago about things wrong with them and also the fact...real fact, that none of the many alcoholics could even begin to regulate never mind accept the only way is to stop for a long time...
many would be sleeping badly.... (especially all the women who came in to sell their zen Goddessery online )
In short the self interest, nobody left ever to talk to about any grown up ordinary serious matters... nobody... ever...
Or then we have the 'injuries' done to them...some unfairness or injustice even if most too YAnkmoronic in the way they can no longer speak to even manage that word... . and NOBODY ever couold ever understand that feeling another did you bad and not turning it around eventually to a comedy or ballet if you are very precious is the way not to be eaten up alive by your seething ....well its not 'hatred' it's something else: just the cultural con: strutting. Unconstructively.
I mean at least the slightly more hardy peeps of The MArches - Clunnish down to Breconish wouldn't go as far as every other word 'vulnerable' - thats a self embarrassment too far ..
Anyway in short for now i didnt understand this minority there seemed no easily perceptable pattern and thus i was uneasy inside - not knowing or understanding is the only thing that needs 'therapy': ferkin well try and find out....why!
Unplanned Mission Accomplished! Being in the SW it's 100% ..(errata 99.9% i know the miracle minority bird..maybe even two) ... all the patterns now fully stacked up in nice little rows as if i have 'OCD' too ..
for now its all about i project
Not speak share or communicate or even her 'connect' they're of course all addicted to saying every third word, nope just i project..it's worse than ferkin Hollywood...I'm almost tempted to set up a storyboarding website under that url...
but i have had my grand finale in the wings some years and it's time, soon
NO feeling no warmth just projection... and the aforementioned wanness - as i know many inside are feeling truly shit its like ghosttownsville...
I wish i really knew their pains i know so many behind their closed doors are genuinely hurting from, except i don't really need to....
cos there's no worse than mine over years (especially if one incorporates TOTAL loss of ONLY 'identity' which shouldnt even be parenthesised as it is just ones BEing... not fake sexual or rather pervy identity for attention, in a land where yes the official paid-for Dominatrices even started to fuck everyone around in the countryside [stories from 2020] pretending to be all airy fairy... when all they have done for years is destroy warmth and decent real good mutual sex which takes real hard work often not their fraudulent whiplashing...and continue ... real identity based on ALL you DO and are for years.... )..and guess what 99% of the time over last decade mojo 97-103%
And never ever ever for one second moan about it....EVER
never ...ever in fact until the great sublime year of sublime2020.com liberation i never really spoke of it
and realised eventually that was good for at least 2% of mojo if one always does... but speaks of it philosophically...
indeed even uses it as fable, for the common fucking good...
nobody would even understand in (from now on just the 'South')
now..i know i am only a 100% standard person as 99% of the rest are also, and all your expensive dire so called mind and wellness therapists have utterly conned you you are 'individual', as any GOOD parent knows ref their kid before all this self self wank came along...almost all kids react the same way eventually to simple persistence with straightforward kindly wise but GROWN UP strategies.... Problem, they may take mountains of time and practice to perfect ... the theatre of it...but it works...and the key don't moan, or phone up Womans Hour to moan live on air, even when you need to, as thats YOU.... not them ...but they can read vibrations...
. so ones personal journey shhouldnt even be monetised never mind spoken of in a way that 99% couldn't adopt, too...
but ... when you know full well standard ways out of a rumpus and know full well the soul of The Southerner is so inured to every other next door neighbour being on BSDM or prozac - same thing really... they have really nasty side effects, well one will have to i guess go FULL emotional blackmail to make the point
soon
but the point is - not finished earlier post piece.... Einstein got is so right as usual with his "the definition of madness..." i have never met so many ill and mentally ill people, all of whom i am sure go to doctors mediation wellness psychotherpist conjobs...all of that...
And even i daren't talk to one of them any more they're so so utterly wounded anything can happen...
so .... trumping time, soon
except it must be entertaining too....
as my one REAL great mature wise and bigbucks artiste new friend says, also " earnestness doesnt work..."
to finish later
as i say so many times the last few years on my walks.... " theres one thing far far harder than Crufts to win.." to all the precious ridiculous Southern dogabusers whom overcontrol and overhumanise their dogs - as many dog trainers say to me too .....
and all those who missuuse the word 'judge'...
there is no harder test of animal husbanding than every single one of these many a time gathered fat Northeners...our friends
this man the famous Richard the ultimate tough Northerner there is no tougher and more prejudiced and biggotted and anti Southern Lasses and campervan driving dad...
held out three years, looking for every conceivable way to judge her inadequate and us bad animal husbanders.... before ...at last giving her both the champion cups 09
How not to be fat (when the jabs don't work), nor booze, and stay wellnessly REALLY 'well', always; and keep your brain ACTUALLY brain rot or fog-free. And all for free, that's the point.
Londoners won't like this as they can't make any money from it, and it puts them out of business - the point being it must be for good. NO return custom.
Compañera is a Spanish feminine noun meaning female companion, partner, comrade, colleague, or friend, translating to words like "mate," "girlfriend," or "fellow" in English, often implying a close relationship or shared endeavor, especially in Latin America where it can denote a female worker or comrade. It's the feminine form of compañero, with shortened forms like compa or compi used affectionately
(which as i said to god who? ehhhh... no in Southy America Bolivia if one wandered the streets in their revolutionary "no es no" time of December 2017 ... on every street corner was a PROPPER pukka Joan Baez lookalike and DOalike, god i nearly died of pleasure and i tested them ! ' ehhh if i sign your petition against the lawbreakers WITH big muvvafucker machine guns pointing at us i want to be in the same cellblock as you so prove to me you have signed it too, with your phone number and lets ring it now to test you arent a liar from Hellstoned who performs being Che Guevara just for instagram or his own t-shirt..." every single rather than the default Southerner 'but' would go further and bear their brests where 'no es no' was scrawled with a razorblade rather than the sickness of The Southerner - and Marches er who of course use razors for other things into their Tube for attention...
ehh right yes so the UK-YAnkification of all the words mean the above definition has been watered down infact as her and i were discussing yesters force fed thalidomide, born with limbs growing out of its nose, and others grafted on to be SUPOSEDLY useful in other places like coming out of their arseholes to make the writer of the definitions look all nice and inclusive when companera means meant ONLY one thing..." bear your brest Joan and i too will use a screwdriver ...[better not write the r*zor word too much or it assumes you want to go terminal dead parrot]....to have full solidarity with you by scrawling on MY chest "please dont say to me no es no.. and then we chest hug so our blood merges all brotherlysisterly...against Big Sister..or Brother" its not "FRIEND" its ally who will go all the way to protect youTOO .. )
and if i use the word compa well it means i don't have to click four times each time one wishes a little squiggle as this Oggle pane is so prejudiced it won't let you type in Spick (the very best European luvvas!..well maybe first equal with Gren [ouille] ) so you have to go to some webpage and select copy paste in the line above just to get one little squiggle...
Anyway.... the questing chrionicle journeyfication (what did she say thistermorn 'relationality' for dig some muck into your veg patch and stuff grows fuck me ...ooops resolution even if Minni Mayors say it to camera, no more 'fuck' ...whip me with a finely harvested bag of willow - all of it! ... the world wide projectioanlity - ooh thats a good new real word, of them townies i didnt undertsnd just how them it is...
until hearing even her the elder project the worst things to project....
And also hearing her..i needed to be subject to that needlpointy torture...
As now it merely becomes about REAL art...
And she was subversive - the real version, testing me, before i even started my ten year standard testing process on her...
what a fabulous find!
BUt its the usual thing with Southerners: they won't "swear on your daughter's life" which is a splendid way of actually having a conversation as ALL conversation ever had down South is not a conversation as the point of one of them is to actually mean maybe one word, except their eponymous 'but' prior to speaking from the performative infant playbook... (i love it actually now I'm used to it - one really can 99% of chats predict the future and every one of them thinks they are self realised 'unique' its laughable how 99% utterly the same and conformist 99% are )
and that essential forst step of any useful compy thing is "what do you WANT..."
" what do you need and what do you want? two quite different and sometimes exclusive things... lets start with the REAL version of the 'want', one...."
then requires ten hours of subtly so as not to get kicked out " no not the performative projection version you have ALL [except 0.1% been trained to always say to only make you LOOK good and get clicks and fake 'friends' and i mean in the street 'community' now ] been brainwashed makes people 'like' you as you are so pathetically needy to be liked even if you will accuse folk of needing genuine alliance to be 'needy' by default as that means youTOO may have to DO what you say.... or have said to make YOU look nice when 99% are selfish sharp elbowed high tories behind their tie dye and hippy cloth bags or whicker baskets....
" how can i make it clear, what you WANT ... late at night insomniac addicted to biscuits and wine
just to pass the time...
what REALLY is what you want....?
i can give examples, such as the ONLY thing i have actually wished wanted desired above all for 20 years no matter what bullshit i have to tolerate getting there is just ONE good role-model /example my lass could encounter even if that has to be in memoirs decades on.... that is indeed
what i want AND need
.... i also KNOW that when i occasionally plot for ease of existence it never works for the best as thats maybe what the faeries whip us with to keep us on our toes...
comfort is a disaster ...as is thinking things can be fixed
it seems to work against the visceral raw persistent-energy of real life
i swear on my daughters life that is a true statement or two"
they usually look at you as if that means you actually wish to kill a child and the 'equation' is the more tie dye or time they have spent in Glastonbury the more certain their look is, that they are right...about you
Anyway as we enter the week when more of you reading this will be so blue you may become Dead Parrots by your own plastic bag collection
do read on this weekend is the only way you can survive ...
Me ive never been so consistently always cheery no matter what
Now it may sound a trifle grandiose but in fact is the exact opposite though i cannot use the word 'organic' has that too was coopted by the DOnothing brigade who i realise are all the Southerners, who merely project concern for environment or other political matters pretending they arent 'political' and also that only grassroots can save the world...
which anyone who fourty or more years ago paid attention to modern ' green' as we called modern-progressive politics then, knows is a load of rubbish as the lazy chancers take over at the 'community' space meetings and say things like " hold the [pass around] talking stick whilst i hold the space" and what with all that holding nothing ever gets DONE...
which is splendid for them as they dont really have time to do much like go to endless dull planning meetings and recombine 100 or more 'green' groups into the one we needed which may DO something... here
(one of my best chroniclings is Angela P blesser at Hay Festival three years ago .... flouncing at the Greenpeace stall, so flouncy its daft.... going on about issues elsewhere and ok fair dinkum didnt even hiss a bit when it was explained to her that the river 1 km away was dead...because of all the Greenpeace peeps who would camp locally in inadequately provisioned large campsites which if there were monsoons would pump chemicals into this rivertoo.... but whats really a super positive is she led me to her mate The Mong the only 'mate' i have who i do deeply care about i guess ... 28 weeks preggers maybe this one will stick..as The Mong and i have no barriers no limits we are on the same page 100%
even better she offered to be bridge to Agent Z via their mutual appreciation of good real journalism, Mister Pilger...
nobody else ever has....
And then she ended up poepople pleasing - i.e. bullshitting she was to have a cuppa in London with her...a year ago
But it couldnt happen as The Mong was still age 42 and still after three years training by yours truly to not people please - using her friend Angela P as fabulous archetype of the prob... Her Mongship agreed, ...was still a mad butterfly flutterbying through acid raindrops....
But when she was told two months ago how " i dont think you are READY to be a parent yet if that important life lesson didnt stick, that you never person to person, you to her, promise a child or even 26 year old something you had no intention of making sure WOULD happen...." in two ten minute recordings....
I know she listened to as some content was repeated back...
One woman, ONLY (over quite a few 100s of hours communicating between the two of us over three years) , caught with her knickers so far down it would indeed be a valid excuse for not being able to wander up her Heidi-hills and put the flab back on...) didn't auto-block and ...well, we continued to be friends....
that's called being a friend " you need to know love ... what you did or didnt do is so deeply lifetime consequential for one lass .... you were her last hope even if we dont use melodramatic talk but still you knew that....and you failed... due only your own narcissistic people pleasing Alice through the Looking Glass disease you still have in there even with superb arthouse film knowledge and having WATCHED [rather than read - as only the reading is real and sinks in for real] all the Pilgers...."
Anyway back to the beginning... which was never about 'woke' or anything such as any sexual weirdness i couldnt give a toss..
In fact precisely, i always forget my tranny story....
which needs THE great rhythm even if Lou a faketoo playing on junky looks and so called grace when in fact he was just a failed jock who read a bit of Rimbaudtoo and copyist....
one lonely eve...
over thirty years ago
in some very very middle of nowhere mid Spain on the job..
Saint Exuperry with the night mail, or maybe more likely some showoff wankerbanker exploring new unexplored golf courses, they can only get to by airborne camper van... obviously untrue as ALL private aviation or at least 99% - i.e. not the heart transplant work i did or even humanitarian relief, is just showing off...
anyway nomadic troubadors of the airlanes know one thing very well: loneliness. Kindof so bad it hurts. In fact come to think of it Gabriel Garcia the way he so so humanised in fact made heroic his hookers, maybe hetoo knew that life of the itinerant... i mean i guess a gentleman needs at least two dates to get their knickers off... an itinerant worker not even necessarily returnin' to the same country for a year well is perraps justified... (real seasoned travellers would say that the Cubans are the best.... beserk in the sac, no fake tango needed, and meant it too, never mind being twofer... the price of one elsewhere..as long as your 'currency' is hard.)
Anyway yes so some truly desolate small town up in the Spanish hills one dark evening, read a few Turgenevs ..splendid all is well but rather bored and that never admitted lonely.... sidle down to the only bar open in the one horse town a handful there at most settle in to some nook back with Turgenev and half of beer....and you get a 'look'...
Now not being prejudiced nor ignorant (the last audio Lewontin there is no race we knew thirty years ago) any woman will do...
and pigin is spoken everywhere so language 'barriers' are less of a trotting pole than one may assume...
fast forward an hour or so later, this super smiley quite gorgeous Spanish woman...my type long very dark hair...skinnyish.... never mind super sublime atmospheric conditions back at hers, on her bed all smelling of pauper and nothing much...nowhere...
thoughbubble: " well i hardly dared to think of them before sat back in the bar .... they were so obviously...ehh...mountainous and nice skinny perfect standy uppy... Zermat types, too.....but now theyre in the palm of mine hand ..... fuck!... ehh .. tghis is above heaven..."
(the mountains in hands song)
fast forward a few minutes ... as one is easing ones pants down preparing for the attack on the summit which clearly would be plain sailing.,,.,
I shall never forget her gesture, burned into my minds eye
as " no fuckee...." questioned nicely and progressively ... becomes and she moved her hand towards her naval whist smiling..." no hole.."
no hard feelings....
well indeed it probably did stay a tad hard as despite being rather a disappointment never mind affront to a red blooded man's dignity manly masculinity and every other inity... still they were the best boobs ever encountered...
those whoremoans even then sure ...worked...
Anyway my innocent Miss TAke is so irrelevent as i say i actually forget it if that non-subject is automatically raised by EVERYone ever for a few years...
indeed i kindof smile.... just the sight of a penis traumatises me.... well at least he had the decency to have chopped his off first... before trickin me ...
BUt the amazing thing about the experience was that there was not one second of " i know you will want it...really...really you are metoo.." which is what one feels walking through every very homo town in the SWest...
i mean one even gave me a look yesteraft in the pissin down rain us both well into middle age...
Anyway.... forget all that utter irrelevance and s/he clearly enjoyed the innocent warmth that eve...
but whats happened the last fourty years is
ONE! : there was a very well defined group of us all over the world or maybe half of it. WE... well the first qualification was you had to have an inner setting " no way am i paying for even a cheap waste-of-cash hotel...a YOUTH HOSTEL will do just fine... especially as we know they are w world-standardised very cheap price always...[ unlike the last 20 years thats no longer any certainty].. we save our money for local strong black coffees.. [wanky lattes and rhubarb flavoured ones not yet being invented to waste more time and cash on]...together...in town in the morning or some simple peanuts and raisions as treat if we are backpacking some trail .. "....
and there one
but here is THE KEY LINE in all must be a million by now...
we were not 'ELITE' -= we were the ones who didnt waste our money on expensive football match tickets [ i never have] or fifty pints of beer every weekend.... we were the humble threadbears..
sewing up split backpacks and nobody would dream of going 'moauntain' climbing thats for mad showoffs...
nope we landloped the world merely to have solidarity and thoughtfulness and understand....
BUT heres the REAL biggie...
nope.. there were NO underclass intersected real ethnic paupers ever.... in cheap hostel or even shared dormitory....anywhere
And there was little talk of " lets go and experience some multiethnic culture out there.."
Every single one of us weird shadow inhabiting tribe of 'travellers' knew most museums were iutterly overrated hardly worth the bother... the main business of the day was finding quiet cheap cafes without awful crap soap operas on full volume in the corner... and that there was a totally respectful 'truce' between the slave labour in such cafes who neither needed to be known, undertsood or certainly pitied for being on relatively slave wages, as they always had innate dignity and quietitude...
nothing was for sale, nothing hyped, no neediness nor even comparison. Perfect humane truce.
(and within yet-to-develop Former Sov places Yugoslavia the best of all truce society - by which i mean nothing to 'prove', to any lost loon who found his way there on a tight budget and backpack ... a society at peace....centred.... )
In fact there hadn't yet begun any 'war'. Even in warzones.
Now...obviously it is a 'privilege' to have been able to afford even the cheapest Youth Hostel when the kitchen staff may have struggled to pay for their shared minibus a few klicks to work....
But it certainly was in no way any 'elite' thing nor in any way patronising.
And never ever about 'culture'. Only simple real geopolitics, greed, and wonky democracy in many places, as every single traveller knew...
And we avoided the Yanks... they knew nothing. And especially avoided the Brits as they projected about everything, irrelevant except to their manic desire to have 'fun' they rarely did, without a bottle of something or ten...
But what is the 'point'? ... I spent plenty of time in REALLY dodgy fringe places with pretty nasty stuff not far away that would affect the small people...
One 'cared'. These ragtag tribes of travers one and all were 100% decent and thoughtful and it's all we ever spoke of. In fact i was probably the most slightly confused and stuck not knowing HOW to be decent always..unlike all the rest. But also one knew that only they could affect the politics of even their own sq km of slumtown Nairobi or even fascist Tunisia (until the 2011fireman) which had sold its soul to the fat hoards who knew nothing of its politics the real version
In short nobody ever patronised anyone ever anywhere... everyone knew throughout the 'Far East' that the politics was so lethal and the powerful, so vicious - ask Ms Suu Kyi...
or Jimmi Lai ...
never mind those institutionally starved close to death in Thai prisons or even India....
indeed its almost as if there are two kinds of humanity
aren't we lucky
But i know one thing for a fact: if then - the best people i have ever known by far...gentle quiet, but brave enough to wander without waterbottlers all over Australia NZ and that Far East... had anyone sat over morning coffees and spoken of "multiculturalism" ... almost everyone would have said "WHAT 'culture' to multiism..?"
... religion every single person even the Yanks abroad on their 'Peace Corps' con knew religion was either dead,or just politics - how you get money a job and wife is even S African... most of myth just made up voodoo for the tourist to come...
all major 'tourist' destinations from the TAj to some largest Thai temple even Nasca lines... swarming with fat bourgeois who didnt have minds any more...
and that there is only ONE 'culture' everywhere even then that mattered....
the fighting but elegant fighting spirit... against THEIR OWN local greedy tyrants, same colour, same religion.....
merely against power greed and already 40 years ago certainly 30 consumerism everywhere and the worst kinds of cheap plastic crap... everywhere
to be cont
FAT and ILLNESS how to cure them both
especially now the data is your fat jabs were rather overblown
Nobody says " and a quiet night at Gwerk / Hellstone lastereve due to the suspension of the frequent nighttime war gaming in great big fat choppers just to remind the plebs below that FAkebook 'activism' is not activism, merely a game of solitaire to atract attention .... indeed is nothing....compared to the truly brave ones over in Iran who put their money where their mouth is, before their mouth gets gouged out down in some smelly dungeon, for the pleasure of some dinosaur Ayatollah ... who doesn't want anyone to talk about the fact that all his brethren are so fancy-sofa addicted they will come up with any old fatwa or longterm moaning about supposed oppression when in fact Ramallah has far far more cash chucked at it than even supposedly wealthy Horrorford as can be seen in the problematical film The Mayor... " in fact nobody will say that last bit as they have brainwashed their seeing faculties quite out of their mind, and nobody noticed...
And my beloved half-blood, ONLY exists due to a Palestinian woman.... infact she was a half blood too....
And no silly Green who can't accept a fairly conclusive Supreme Court ruling as their toys are rainbow coloured and nobody taught them it's not good to waste plastic or even risk hurting it's touchy feelingsness, by getting all prammy ...[ chuckin' em out of it - usually a 750 quid model which of course they dont mention as requiring a LOT of time on the hamster wheel selling rubbish to pothers so as to afford it].
Anyway the above is hard, as I am 100% or at least 93% communitarian as I knew by lived experience that not being so - i.e. being Ayn Randist even if nobody who is - the majority, have even watched her interesting interview where her obviously weird childhood drips drip drip ... into the lap of her quite tolerant interviewer
or read ALL her books... as i have, indeed Atlas twice .. a magnificently forward thinking and deeply moving story..board
Basically as she was too up herself to read Bovary and realise those pesky Europeans often are quite wise about human nature...
(GOD AT LAST!!! lastereve for the first time ever i heard a pundit say " maybe now theyll realise with Putin barking at one fence - even if rather a long way away, and likely he couldnt afford the fuel bill to get his cannon fodder to the Western one, a mad yank barking at the yonder Western fence ... ' the EU is the greatest ever successful peace-ensuring, treaty ever.'.. or at least ish...."
Anyway moan moan " a five feet tree is blocking the road..." and even worse moan moan every #vanlife crybaby in the land seems to have decided to make videos of them with a bit of ice inside their windscreen ... even those - i.e. ALL of them,., who can afford to run their engine for half an hour every hour and melt said inside ICE ...rather quickly ... because they are sponsored by some utterly unnecesary product placer or their moronic viewers pay into their 'coffee' fund...
which is exactly why they have NOTHING philosophical or deep and wise ever to say....
infact my best winter for the last 5 years have been the two when it was so cold for weeks - day in and out minus 10 ... with No products no heating the same simple coats as usual... and one can wear two as 'layers' in bed if necessary...
and then when you have five degrees thistermorn and looks like ten again by nexterweek frig you feel like you are having a free bholiday in the tropics...
in pother words these retarded cry babies cant even think philosophically and just copy chummy sounding lines from each other
problem is this is how your young adults are being educated... by nothing, but candy floss...
what's interesting is even my enjoyed battle-axe encounters who entirely agree with me never really follow through on ideas of joining up to attempt some useful...content
so that must mean they hate their kids, too....
but then one knew that three decades ago is a European rover.... its so evident how distant thne YUKish are from their kids....
why so many are going to chop bits off themselves or maybe even you comer Donroe's maybe rev... via his proxies
Especially if hetoo works out that Labour are fairly fucked unless they can get the balls to attempt a BRRRETURN
Poor Claudia can't ever understand what it really means...
(i shall come back to, another day, soon..)
an exactly 5 minutes never aforethoughtabout shit poem...
meanwhile, as always, the anticipation is ten times worse than the jolly good saving-a-fiver free wintertime shower...as long as it's getting towards sevenish degrees not to be all American about numbers; anything over about five really is ok... and anyway just think of all them 'wild swimmers' who especially like to strut around flouncing their wild swimmery equipment midwinter even if it may well be a 'rush' to have saved a fiver and as usual reminded onesself of the ole Black Swan disease that what one knows one will feel after being innit is never what one does feel....
nevertheless there is nothing more symbolic than grown (almost exclusively) women prancin around at dawn or whenever telling each other they are superwoman as they alone know the key to eternal life and 'energy' by going in a dip in cold water all winter noless when theyve stolen loadsa public money one way or other ( the third sector audio 5 or 6 weeks ago) or perraps offload unused carcenogenic* Roundup - pro no-less, which gives the cute little carcos even more of a bang for their ripped off buck.... into the (also plastic filled) river of The Cot.... so as to be able to get some benefit from being trustee of them Nutzis that will never show up on anyone's tax return....
.. rather than actually DO something with all their newfound cold dunk superhero energy, such as actually try and keep their waters clean for the cute little Axos....
i love that picture shame the one for who's benefit it was written is even more stark
and raving bonkers
despite being the only other artist in the whole pestilent Footjob who attempts some actually provocative make-em-think art...
And the weird thing is fool me i had some innate trust of her to indeed follow through, so didnt bother taking a picture of her rather groovy female figures, displayed in St Ive-lots-of-dodgy-mates-with-violent-exLondon-pasts-so-pay-a-'tax'-to-us--if-you-want-to-even-be-a-cleaning-lady-here (sic. i was reliably told) .... with really rather fierce looking dogs heads protruding from the fanny region...
well i think it was abstract art....or maybe a bit of still life portraiture modelled with photo-propriety and the Spitting Imagery... on the models down Gweek way...
Anyway theres me thinking it will be tough rinsing in the rain with buckets of clean riverwater aside such that i don't really add to the system .... and then i realised...
there was never any point; even here there is so much yuckstuff flowing down ....
free substack lifesaving audio
Don't listen Messrs (team) DonRoe..I, alone, know your endgame .. Unlike the pretty little shamaniacs i CAN see the likely future.... (Run! if British - made before UK assisted in the pirating!)
ERRATA don't ..run. (see below) many more episodes missed out from the last year putting up here soon but it will be sooner if you weren't so mean and paid for a 'coffee' or summit
yes for god’s sake stay put as UK becomes the 51st state not because of any wish for your future sanity but for mine…. 10 years chronicling the utter claptrap that comes out of every single British mouth if Europe is even vaguely referred to or just ,may be …
