scene 1...
Though La Vinagrette's real life story of subverting her rich Colorado cleanliness-neurotic yanks with her " i usually just use vinegar" i know there is an Intouchables in it... i hope she also bills them for the latest space age cleaning products..like me she knows are poison...to her... the cleaning lady personal operative .... in fact she is the definition of If this is love...
I did.
Her cheeky grin recanting her nestbeshMUTTserness...paid to deal with their mess....even if from behind the dull supermodel Audrey Hepburn cancer enhancing sunglasses
The Fuller Monty:
The recently elected Green politician... cycles through the yard of her besties Ritchie and Celia who own all the 'green' clicks, and bottled poisonous oxygen that is so called 'environmentalist' caring, in the whole of West Herefordshire [the most BBC covered region by far - ecowise - - what with Fergal, Monty Don.. Monbiot loves the boozers where the pretend hippies from Notting Hill or that Primrose place, pretend to love him, and pretend 'nature' writers Humble and Mcdonald cashin' in too]...still....
On her gleaming new 2 thousand quid bicycle and gleaming new two hundred quid saddlebags...
Not even noticing the rusting pile of actually new [ 100km max on the tyres] bicycles.. she could have reused and recycled her big bottom on, from her many year friends... as they were all once before left in a heap under the leaky shed roof... top of the range, then... but left to rot... til the cunt fleeced us for 30 quid for that which ...
it beggars belief the 'stories' these people tell, about themselves... ten times more interesting than even the Houellebecqian tales of 'eco' cult-lite... these are merely oldschool - always the best...right out of Kafka or Steinbeck...
And we need a new one.
A Mrs S....
She could save time thinking up imaginary scenes and merely read through 1000s of pages of transcripts or real ones...recorded dutifully for posterity... vrbatim.
Truth always being stranger than fiction...i thought yet another cliche until i became fairly central i arange of REAl 'green' initiatives in that most bbc covered eco wasteland..
" my lass 25 years ago dipped her toes age 6 mths in the Wye...and giggled..loadsa minnows nibblin'..within 10 years of many summer days at Hay beach..hardly a one left.. by 2020 - earlier in fact..front page news 'sterile toxic pea soup'...[no not just the so-so-easy-to-blame Crgill chicken sheds my 3x undercover supermodels of the official water agencies chime...youtoo...your badly built rural inadequate sewerages and tanks...and so much stuff chucked down them...even awful writer Waller Bridge managed to stick into her bag of fidgety fleas...a scene quite poignantly lamenting UTTER explosion of bathroom table products.....]"
Whilst Hay fest took 100s of thousands of quid on 'eco' talks.. Hilary muscles in too... merely to menetise.....and Bob their head of recycling [ " ehh..it all just goes to landfill "] and famously transcendentally 'aware' newage guruish... kills our ferret passed on to his stepdaughter as he cannot listen... to many long slow explanations from Estiandad her actual uncles...." no it doesnt have its own divine self realised unique soul to freely explore the natural trees behind your caravan..if it escapes it DIES a long slow death ...just like every other ferkin standard not unique ferret that escapes due some lazy fool leavin' open the door as they were't trained by mum and dad to hunt in the wild..being domesticated..." back 3 or 4 months here all true every word]..