... only because it will take 9 1/2 years to ponder how i put into words ...( even if i have such wonderful film of her every move.. she started it ...i never take selfie-selfies...all my self obsessed video selfies are just a quicker format than writing down the words, that are aleays milling around megitatively pondering on many a silent km. )
... the fact, not made up, to get workshop clientelle...
( ohh i must put up that yesterlunchtime explanatory audio)
... that even here, the last six months... 4 to be precise... despite her unknowable facial expressions yesterlunctime... i give up!
But ...Intouchables, as the gang of four yesteraft a bit later.... is ( this next bit needs a propper Substack compliant, i.e.Smart Alec sounding piece: sorry..i adore the Italian nipper film... Paradiso .. and a few arthouse films rightly bring us the most sublime appreciation of the beauty of childhood... but the eay almost all film, drama, and so called literature must all be about childhood, is the final nail in the coffin....
the self harm of a society too terrified to actually understand adulthood...
defaulting to the one period of life where we change every other week, and NOTHING interesting can be said about life... there isnotjing interesting to say about children once you 100% incorporate the role of being a parent, entor, carer no mater what....
And ... if i pick up another book, about childhood i shall burn it...
on the firepit of the Lord of The Flies...all you ever need to lnow, wjen the grown ups fuck up it can lead to bbqs ...among the poor lost damaged unparented kids...
so i better never again pick up a British book..
nor tune in to British drama...
indeed is perfect metaphor allegory or whatever for a self harming nation, "sabotaging" ... he liked that!
all...
only able to lose themselves in the total fantasy that any book about childten or someones childhood, as memoir, in any way matters in any way... most of it will be Miss Remembered anyway.... due the damaging angst in the front room.
Lermontov, aside... books by grown ups about being grown up.... no walk on parts by children who wanted to grow out of being child asap, and do every other month, change... evolve....... seemingly now all but banned...
Except in Europe where i know children are parented, well... yet interestingly feature not, on book or feature film...
does say something.
Anyway ... if you can beat Intouchables in adult ' life affirming' plot twists, in this unmentionable dull thing called real life...
One better somehow sit quietly in the quiet and try to write it up...
Thing is, not yet... summer is for exactly what i assumed would never be again possible, finding a good summery beach and coming to rather enjoy it... between long bendy walks.... all which add up to,
exactly what was overdue,
never again touchable: an almost ideal , mellow and sublime.. saudade filled summer
And purpose, too... though not yet.
And appeciatiom of what the " price" is... with change
