't works
Even if mine, mind, is stuck speaking to mine self, in gorgeous krauten, "now" Tolle you twat.... and....
So was it ... 1st of this worst month as i always knew 'twas...
i met the fat mong
With his
knee in a show-off 'support'
Funny thing hindsight, she knew the nexterday...
Because i told her...
To her sunglassed
girafesque
(oh god what a gorgeous new creative word)
perfect, face
And she did i think 'get' it...
(insert clip)
hjhjkgghkkghhg
( testin'.. bit late for at last a new system, that bypasses my many month duff keyboard...ssss)
Anyway, backwards...to Mrs 'Mindfulness's" landholdings, 2019... February...
Her tools fossed about
Her " come to my mindful walks around The Meadow, Presteigne.. 20odd quid, discount if you are too fucked by 'mindfulness' to keep up with me as i walk and talk... 'meditatively' as they all ...lie"
The job...
Mattered, her derfaudulent non sequitur of a pretense for cash... d'int...
BUt i would bounce around her frozen vegbeds, digging up the reality - years of weed...
With the moment one of a few when British art was great...and The skinny Northener well at least you could trust her not to go and self pityingly do herself in Paula style...
And smiling as singin' .... " two faced...two faced..."
That - most extraordinary moent of real art and soul, at that Tube...
has been the rhythm for months especially, NOW Eckhart...
Indeed ( even if i know she likes my title)
The actual title should be " well as long as tghey don't let Tolle in in his rotted hull boat..."
BUt that is one 'version' of BEing... even if in my own case its never ever ever angsty sour...
(despite knowing the definition of 'bitterwseet')
Anyway the 'moment' has passed, having to move up off of the cliff for a bit 'o signal....anyway all the cowboy hatted (i havd no idea they were so common as muck) ... performers of that atchin tan... as they perform being in an episode of ferkin Shellseekers or in fact Brideshead with Indiana Jones equipment out of the PAtagonia catalogue..
At least a couple, saw my no equipentesque BE ing on the fuckin' path.... in action
(but on Saturaft i wonder if she heard as we like ...'like' is inadequate a word for there were only two, expressing our fullest "human" form into the limit of what we should be forever...
.... we didn't march' we... glided...we were THE black Rabbit of Inle...
he earth was not under our feet...
Both of us...in our own way had danced... the real dance ...in her case one of this Black Swans ....and she had paid the '"price".
It is impossible to have a more perfect last waltz....
fuck yer tango theres only one kind of 'bodily' and thats a girafian ex ballerina...
But all that serelevant...
All that matters, is to be proved right and wrong.
1 Aug - i do have filmic proof time and datestamped if i ever catch up: As usual i hate august more than any month in fact its the only month i am prejudiced against...
From longtime living
proof
Dont be around a dull dead end tourist town like Hay-on-wye in August even early 2000s as the grocks invade... there is nothing worse that the ravaging hordes only out to consume, and alike the shop owners who purvy them like soapbars... they dont read books...
Avoid, too bleak.
A twenty year inner setting.
Especially for other reasons 2010 to maybe 14ish....
August is the very worst month for anyone 'waiting' on standby for some real "human" goodness to happen...
Anyway there we are...
Thursday the 1st August
TO camera or audio i forget which " well... the hated month is here when it is impossible to have any peace, REAL life...soulfulness... or interesting new realperson developments in life... I HAVE SECOND SIGHT...better than the fake shamans...bless 'em poor lambs... i know this must be the future for the next 4 weeks... just like every other August for several decades... i know the future, hocus pocus pretence, or not.."
"At least i am more mature than so as to advertise it on fakebook or instand gram of no brains... or tell some doting loyal husband to ... B... "
whats the ferkin date today?
Asks my simply great memory that got better...
One...me...would only query, if in fact in 7 days... already 7 years worth of... well thats what it feels like ... impossible things happen...
Except, every month.... 'ideal'...ish
Inclus:
The suposedly, seemingly....unless there's a deepl god...(that can Krautenfy the whole of THE enlightenment and real progress via nuance into its stupid littkle attempt at speaking "human"... most walkingstix-stabbing comment made to a mum in history...
That you have to be in the most impossibly fine sublime mood in history...sat here...at badvudu pagan cliff, pondering what on earth "now"...
And i am not sure i can take any more of the ....
So, well....i set in posterity - a 'witness' ... where..a year ago the last word happened...
so be it.
....
ANyway, actully...ok
Maybe there were three.
And someone 'got' the right word for " so how do spell it ... ka...TH...erina... wow... theyre big in my life always one letter different.."
As we later on shared... a true perfect 27 year old free equal vagabond on her longest walk... not paying for tent spots
put me in the mood for what next.. (unlike the 'local' of her age and type even if none could match her obvious beauty, she happy to stop and talk one human on the path, to another.. equally.
BUt next (oops remeber the catalyst for just being there in the first paygun place - the UNequal English one )
Leads us to..
The Alien stood high, and tall, and looking a bit like Bowie had he been a real human... on a rock...
Middle of nowhere...
whom will likely thing every word is only about her...
Well it is of course it is as when someone says the most complimentary thing ever to me down route... well it is..
Bust fast backwards before i forget.
1700 that first perfect day.
Not yet crawling back... as i would later be almost hands and knees..
Walking through the dunes of one of the few grockel laces here ... quick march, if i dont get back by dusk i am in trouble (not really, more likely to go weak at the knees from, two causes)
" hi dont worry about me you carry on enjoying your deckchair and beer.."
half an hour later :
"i have never heard anyone [as i had earlier never heard anyone had read Saint-Exupery .. the rest of him..] speak never mind in the perfect accent so you richly and poetically bring Lermontov alive to my ears ...
"in your halfbred mother tongue.... but did you read his one book...he wrote only age 22 or 3.... i dont tjink i ever read anything as beautifully adult real and get the perfect nuance to this rather difficult thing of how to live on...?
" you are....only..... 21.. that is absurdist... but you are at perfect ease wanting anything grown up we can find to say....
" well one thing for sure, your mongrel world citizen no home,
lineage and life is certainly ...ehhh.
...you prove, it works... i never thought you existed any more... even half Former soviet Union; even if you cannot ' connect' with ' generational trauma' they all moan about here as its trendy
as its so ancient history in your timeline, you were born fully bourgeois ...
"..... but alsi guess no belonging, merely a freest mind... flip ... ehhhh.... i ... can retire now and just have fun like i am running home from today....if all along you did exist...maybe we are ok .. "
Anyway what do i fix into my diaries about a few hours ago?
Anyone else would blow a fuse from confusion.
The only fuse i have to be careful of is... I know exactly what " privacy" means, in the absurd age of anything being knowable via anything written online, when nothing real is ever here...by definition.
And i only like books with a feelgood ending.
And ....
But .....
Does a highly inteligent " warrior" understand that in an ideal " human" world.. no one loses any battle or war ..?
I can now define that via a fairy tale, that may, or may not have been reality.
As i still dont know myself.....
hang on
...i forgot
.... but i cannot forget, two people i would wish they only are at peace...
So i guess i cannot say a word, unless...
