The day after

 

"closeout"s ssss.... 

talk about a propitious timely kairos (what it means) ...

Long planned birthday present to self: get rid of (after nicely tidying away into dairies - maybe one day....nothing in my past do i get traumatised over ) every single message email 'contact' ...ever... 

EVER... 

ALL a waste of time....  none of it real, ever....

clean slate not that the mobile phone is as useful as a hunk of slate which would fell a bison  - or at least a small one, from 50m if your aim was straight and true

JUst more arty stuff...but

Now, "absurdist" is... also never bothering to hashtag or stick ANY kind of cheat stuff into anything ever (only here) uploaded shared chucked onto youtube 

Hence the most unviral channel ever... quite deliberately...

As absurdist poetical non-statement on how digital made evey one ..non... nonhuman... not abled...to be

Hence my own use is quite limited and MUST be super hurried no thinking as thinking needs to be saved for momentum moment

But really.... 

I dont actually look at any stats or any likes or anything

as the unused @ferretsarefun  twitter states: 

But remembering i uploaded one of the most poignant soulful WONDERFUL 50 year old babe performances ever.....lifted out of an equally wonderful youtube interview i saw some yerars ago and some numbty had taken it down not before i was ardroit enough to download... so not mine, but ....  no hashtags or any posting anywhere ... 13 views...really... 

Which merely is a ....

Problem is.... what a rare mildly fretful moment, nota  dilemma.... i simply have no idea.... if i should bother.

18 June planning or rather the kairos moment came... 

thoughtbubble: " itis so so so so...perfect...i awake with it in my ear and i know when i am at ultra peace always and ... its not 'breaking through' it merely is perfect....

... 

....well i know for a fact .....    will agree if i say all this 

 stuff failed as she is a country lass... they tend not to lie  or fake manifesting anything...a spade is a spade

But i am also a man of words or at least even age 20ish found the great real women...or at least the ones who maybe one could trust...

In the 'culture' too

And anyone who can prove god or some matrix exists by writing "fabricate redemptive boasts" 

age 20 something - so i blame my Nestbeschmutzerin' habit on her...

 isnt going to turn into anything inauthentic... as history proved

Anyway a dilemma wrapped up in a load of instagam sales vudu designed to sell herself to the cheapskates of Totness..... who singlehandedly ruined the river Wye.... in the persona of the very first of them....and her VERY expensive felt handbag...

How can....such a singer as truly soulful as... 

The last month i ....yesteraft at the cliffs i even had her up against the greatest of them all, ever....

I think it is better than Maria.... and even Tammy...who is better than our joint goddess.... Minnie.... (in the paradise year of 2021 i discovered...in our interview) ... but...

Poor Serbian homoerotic warsong writers wouldnt know being stuck like all the poor Former Sovs in the Cold War...

There was only one form of music that really changed the world..... that makes you hot, always....

And i can never be bought, as The Mong  - the male one, knows... i turned her down.... so often in 22 i taunted him...

I have never danced with ANY woman...  not met one worth embarsassing myself with

Not even due chunky drunkedness when NYC one lonely Monday evening two maudlin chaps at the bar and in stumbles.... a rather tipsy chunk of ... the greatest soul  singer ever who performs on stage for just me and him...

And as he couldnt stand...and anyway an English accent can endear you to anyone in yankland... 

Anyway to the point...  but it cannot be made: unless... she can listen, and actually  ..oops that was 'she' in glittery star signage

"love... i have had you on for days and days now.... even the Queen - the real one...of soul, and heat...and always being in a good mood ... couldnt buy me or get me to dance with her or grope her....well i think there was a bit of that as we were both rather overfriendly....  but ive had you alternating with her.... and  if we cut out the "honey wine" bullshit and straight-out-of-Totness embodied ferkin manifestin' "projection" ...  and the whole of your instagram act to be pleasing to the cash o'Gwerk 'n the like......i know isnt even you.....

"What you have in there is purest sublime ...bittersweet life is shit and ...no one is in control regardless of how much your yoga mat costs.... and you dance like... well there is only one dancer...and only one soul singer and Sarah died despite Aretha ....

her song...our whole generation's then unknown little 45...

i found out 

Just a few months ago... sort of poetic justice...  (on her truly awful damaging Thatcherite cunt Master of The Universe old man..) 

" ...i can tell... even the wank waffle on black mothers nothin' to do with you but a sales pitch to the Totty... who havent got any cash anyway...their healings all fake ...    some do tell that truth....  you usually have it as the intro background..i know you know it is special and no not all musty have prizes...  you know what finding that truly unique one in a million real ART  songs is.... and it may not be deriguer with the tom tom Totties...who wouldn't even dare watch THE Queen of it very very unmasked and hot on stage in 2020 to make a point.... .  but it's as good as... the soul in it.... i have been listening to alongside her.... and ..... but this Totty nonsense you spout is the EXACT antithetical Antonymous  opposite of...what the best ever soul is for.... to make you want to live... "

In the can but i still dont know....

And hurrying along i shall make no sense but i know what mindfulness IS... discovering that something impossible - every single thing you know about humans proving real soul is impossible in Totness, is... 

wrong.

To be cont. BUt i still cannot decide whether to...