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Monday 20 May 2024

'loneliness' define


Or a better title: not an instant gram of grey matter between them.


Now...i have two, or three really,  ' chronicles'  that i dont need to ' relection' upon.


The first and main is merely recording the real

conversations ... firstly about  the 'environment' with merm environmentalISTS ... from 2014ish when more green votes in those council elections seemed to give ' hope' 

when... the backstabby  bitterness ( so subtly hidden, cos none can 'communicate' -  so filling up with new snide bullshit  judgy words,   it wasnt even ' behind' ones back...it was like a trippy Sorrentino movie....) ... simply made none of it possible, to  WORK...


the same peeps [ greenish,  99% pro EU)   one revisited pleading ( subtly, the ' enlightened'  fuckin Budyoga matty lot dont allow pleading, and always Miss Take passion,  or just caring, for ' anger' )  useful  new alliance harvesting votes from 2017 if just maybe there were some second EU vote ( no one even dare to say, " in Swiss bigvotes and many othersuch  nations .. its !!almost always 60:40 required for major constitutional change..Cameron was such a retard" )

....but forget politics and even diplomacy. The infantalised   lack of anything grown up... or spirited, .heard among my [ pro EU]  ' people' was extraordinary...over 3 years..... ( recorded, better than any Sorrentino fantasy...reality, just as trippy and ... tragicom  ) 

caused by summer 2019 my only near ' depression' ...and then i met "smiley rider"!.. riding out for the ' enemy' ( local fascist hunt)  and...  i became fully people balanced once more.... 

so....a real fabulous, even if bleak chronicle. . only the foxkiller ( i jest, Laura just loved nags more than peeps and it paid the bills)  made  me happy... again.

all people just cant and vanity...real country lasses she sat above us all and just smiled....

And then there is also the ( yawn)  society-at-large chronicle.

I have religiously maintained 20+ years...

35 actually, but some bastard stole my suitcase out of van in Portugal  2023 ..  containing 15 yrs of notepads...

( and that became first change-step in true real zennyappiness..AND likely constituent in sex transforming...  into always good,  and never unhappy, when before, that invasion,  always a bit of a downer afterwards, even if true true ' love' - but post crime,  always better, different   : a blockage i never knew i had, was torn away.. by my ' privacy',  i cared about a lot, stolen

Thank you the angels! a year later i would think.... after i realised the change was consistent


but back to the general societal  'what happened'  chronicle...

so hard,  of course


especially in spaz NPD becomes BPD ... ' post truth' society...

I am able to understand BOTH sides of any new 'argument' or thought, or change.   ( amazing i havent gone insane, i am not, my memory proves, among other things)  but thats just the way i always have been... 

But here is a ' truth'...

( gensoc chronicles)


20 years ago we  had actually wonderful email ' forums' .... .  the best in the Families Need Fathers  -  ( then) an already  30ish years  registered  official charity, commendesmd by top  bit*h judge  Butler Sloshed... as sane and trying to EQUALLY reframe post seperation matters in modeen necessary humane new law

There were as many superb sane intelligent CARING

 ' sorted' women contributors ( membership only so they had paid their annual 30 quid to be on the forums)  and most were graduates of,   or  working in social work type roles..  some consulted to goverment on social policy!! ... who listened! 

.. as we were all sane and thoughful....

we were contributing to real useful social legal policy on the family... children


 ( funny when i joined ... kindof celeb......who did more with my bull in a china shop " fuck you...all... RCJ ... government..  no one besmirches my healthy  love..i know works for childtoo"   and literary  / real philosophy -  how you BEAT the system, use their weapins!!   occasional quotes into their forum .. Payne or Kafka .... would go over their heads ... ohh god the disastrous education for 30 years this society!)


  . ...a weird feeling, them in awe of me...johnny come lately  ...... funny really... me their slightly ehh .... godlike presence on the forums.... . but i couldnt meet many,  as London ( always the centre) too expennsive and dull for me to visit to meet them...

Anyway forget me as i was out of my depth at first even if i had  solo, no help,    reframed law they all said for years  was impossible to even nudge towards more balanced  sanity 


cos the stuff that matters - how to deal with childrens emotions and feelings and reality, though i was great at at home,  i didnt have their many year developed,  lexicon..( and years of experience trying to help in courts) .so i had to learn...


As i told the SW other day, Abnigail Fed his brilliant talk as to why he was nutjob criminal, Catch Me if You Can...

"cos i was put, by the 'city' legal counsellor,  in middle of  situation, between my loved num and loved dad...age 16.... it made me nuts!"

WE... me behoved to the lexicons of 2004. to 2007 ish...  we knew keeping kids away from parental angst is CRITIfuckingAL.   

( i only saw Abnigail  vid 5 or 6 years ago) 


So in the socgenchronicle   ...the day the silly Iranian ( i always elevate non Brits to fancied/ desired/ ideally 100% respected).. i had defo ultra fancied, and had several years been  thinking i could use my godlike status to get a cuppa coffee invite... in her London bedroom..[  her JOB ' child law journalist' only existing cos of ME!  as she knew]. .... she is on  4chan Today program one morn  6 or 7 years ago


" ohhh ...of COURSE. ....Jenny or whoever.. !!! not even a matter for debate!!  this[ i think 8 year old, in the news] should have been allowed actually inside court DURING the battle for his place of living... [ in smug very juicy yummy mummy accent  she woz ultra  sultry iranian but London raised yum].." .

my head went into my hands " ohhhh... Natasha... 15 or 20 years,  real minds...most women with good   education in psychology or actually figuring humans....  in our forums and ( FNF or other childlaw)  conferences... every single one of dozens knew.. lexiconned in the current then sane language ... ..  and always the superb woman voices were firmest: .. keep kids away from ALL conflict or bad vibes or you are a fuckin child abuser   .. a real one... ohh Natasha sweetie. .. think before engage brain to sound good??????? ... or shut the fuck up..." 


FF saturday 20th April 2024

08.35


I didnt even need to


look up the time, in my serious .. socgen chronicle ( and other odyssey) notepads..

I have remembered it every day since 

" must record that truly tragic bimbo just saying whatever comes into her head  on 4chan  to SEEM ' good' at 0835 Today  saturday... 20april... that expires 30 days  after transmission ... " 


whom i just got in the knickers of time... today

" 35 minutes left to listen" 


https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yggq



( my online photo,  about late 2021...me pointing to Maccurach badger murderers Kennel Wood site  1/2 km away.. me stood on Offas Dyke -  the boss of Offas centre says ..in my chronicles around 2015.." we have absolutely NO idea why or what for it is there" -   nr Herrock . ... and i wanted to speak out but couldnt...didnt have the guts or backbone as it would get me hurt...[ cos no allies,  especially eco women, i did drop hints to.... can you trust to shut the fuck up about name place and the film i have.....until i have protection or other home] ...

 .. ..until i found... her 18 mths ago... who basically said " you all fuck your kids up so much, even a Hague ready Serb could see" ... and one day i hoped to at least share ...why and how... 

Natasha and the woman below.... to me explain why....and i KNOW they won.... but i wont let the real history be rerit..hence my socgen chronicle quite comprehensive over 20 years....).

at 4.40  in the above 7 min segment saved for...  in  my recording of her ...the boss  of mumsnet.. THE gotokids advice thing


" its great if kids with non contact  [ residence that day] parent can be smartphoning other household "

I know, i dont need to ponder benefit of doubt ir posttruth...so gobby fuckin preachin the vilest  idiocy ever...

unless she has TEN years day in and out  experience...and research...??

behind her wobbly arse ..


and 2 days debate  with a gorgeous man Kirk QC.. so respected as only child lover in law.... ( him in theory my legal oppo..i called to the soon-to-be-demoted high court judge " he is an angel" ..even if i alone ran the case as they all knew from my first fax a month earlier)  in a staged  ( mum had many tens of thou legal aid, to stop her losing ALL ) 

years ... years of REAL people pondering with all their brain.... was in this

me and Kirk,  allies... in truth and kindness ..and decency

and yes fuckin " MORALITY" too... Gweek so poisoned her brain its not de rigeur to mutter that word...


it is MORAL to try to assist the most...  one can thats called  utilitarian 

best bang for buck for the most lost loons  called people

[ the re z bit]


which...in the room that gave this piece of paper.. we debated perfect reframing of law as new TEMPLATE.... also  has the head legal person at NYAS  ..THE top ( and ok) child advocate government appoved / run,  institution in uk,  and a very senior  ex  20 year social worker ... advising them...all on this piece of paper... ( me and Kirk fighting against their  their smiley okish but sometimes  twattery - such as" we wont approve you using the words ' rights of the child'   at the start of each sentence " as I and Kirk wanted...lobbied for...) 

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/official-judgements-and-statements.html?m=1


 i cant  be bothered to quote from what WAS  huge staged FIX it ALL ...case... we.. Kirk and I..... were the grown ups!! even Nazi Hedley number 3 judge in RCJ ( before he retired, sacked due meeting...me) ..  knew... 


a child,  a week alternating between homes is [  psychologically better off... PRESENT !! in the home s/he is in....  that relationship worked on every day as you need to with any youngun] ... and a phone call to the other household ONCE A WEEK  ... should happen and is quite enough and BEST for the child's  interest...minimising angst...... " 

which means 3 days ... maximum 3 days  a child wont chat with other-household parent....


and i can quite assure not only is that very best - a true balance and good policy...


a child needs to relax into her PRESENT circs....


ten years of that.... no conceivable need for a smartphone  .. my lass knew she coukd text her mum from my old simple phone,  any time she wished,  so guess what....   she forgot  she could...as she NEVER

 ' needed' to...

And soon as phone comes in..( put in deliberately bybother household  late 2009  when we agreed to wait til high school...shes  in psychological pain... plain to see...)

*******

loneliness:  years ive had it... about 12 or 13 ...

its just impossible to even have a good simple sane conversation with ANYone ..

such as about the above - meaning the bimbo a month ago,  on the wireless...

 no serious real  chat that grown ups would have

...consistently.. over even a few days never mind few months...or for life... knowing sanity needs to be worked at.... 

and fought for... talk like a grown up about difficult matters  we all wish to debate in good ( many years thoughtful)  faith


not be barked at by bimbos on phones  ..  about what is wrong with us.. from some spaz Eckhart world thats never helped anyone... grow up