( she.... was shown,  and did read ralphwalkson...  several times... this year.... even if she calls me "Mr Spam"... she must have read my email advising her of that new spot, no one else knew of it.... she looked in recently again, the counter said so...and she knows some othrr pages on tjis, you cant see, from day 1,  were only hidden,  just for her - only findable with the url - and  she knew i knew if she had viewed, a year ago...which she continued to long long on....

..... but i now know for sure no good wise intelligent woman, even maybe the best thete ever was as she is... could survive... the whole 99% who are vapid Gwerkian mermaid incommers here...[ others confirm this to me if i open up]..and i realised thisafternoon it hit me....  

the 30-40 yr old ' beautiful people' women one sees everywhere especially Foulmouth and this junkie infested  loony Pen.... 

 they are ...clearly comfortably off enough... but almost all look so so so unhappy...real on the exge suicidal.....never meet your eyes often turn aside in disdain.....often really really quite awry.....  of course when they get older theyre even worse.... 

now i get it, and understand how her friend as she told me ...doubtles semi ' beautiful people' mermaidish....had committed suicide )