Tuesday 30 January 2024

but the real note to self

 only i shal ever know

and this is the bittersweetest   line in all of love poetry, ever... even 

( whats is the Douglas Adams line .? .[later]..  the lines we estianddad  read out  on the BBC wireless  2009.. actually fucking the Straw man up his  extraordinary renditional HAGUE CRIME arse )

 Byron himself couldnt equal 


i think its here   6 months ago back older posts you have to read from the start.. years of infotainment for you

no copyright symbol stamped on any page either

.. all free

and anyway all legal cases they steal bits out of context....  been there done that got the chain gang t shirt ( best bit of memoirs... by far working at  Benman inc the ultimate first 'Paul  ' conman

illegally   using  state provided slaves to do his paid for ( £300 quid a night yurt and sound healing special offer!)   hospitality work... chopping their logs they would pay him for...  could have had im in clink for years...i never report ANYone  ever

especially when my first new love 2012 ...i find actually at his chain gang ... he tried to beat me up for ... figuratively ...of course ...as he thought she was his, as he owned the 'green' 

 ' commnity'

  poor Serbs really should do their homework first before using words about how many falsely accuse that word of being real, ( for profit, they have their clever ways ) in YUK


anyway Douglas Adams...superb writing.. funny.. i forget the name iof the species  we quoted on wireless: his ultra baddies

but i can almost Be as  funny ( she would be if she let go) and humour is the only proof .of Being healed....  cos she made me laugg! ... yes you too you are ' healed' of your so  trendy  " generational trauma"  just cos grandad  didnt duck when  a drunk  lost loon Nazi  got all maudlin and started 'poppin' iz  popgun.. not your pop...  your pop already extant i assume unless you own my hollogram and the levels f headfuck to tjismatrix reality are even funnier... me i live in the ' now' of tbis planet i quite like ...)


yes,  to the point...

the divinest comedy ( me the brunt of)

 one year ago, i let go... only under her divine influence...various peeps  i have known years...  i gradually began to bridge burn and tell them what fakes/ hippos or just madly lost  sadly sick folk they had.. Be came ...  nicely never angrily i have none


only as she had " bolstered" me

no one bolsters me!

i need no bolstering

certainly didnt plan one bit of bolsteration 

but then i

 was.

So many hissy fits slamming

 their phones down

 Suzi, often the hippoCret fairly often in fact,  lately .. few months ago as a chirus... he does the line from the only great Katarina's  blood on your saddle song ( i got in a fake indictment against me 2010ish ..deliberately ...as a joke on her..

hippocret:  " i cant even read the emails you send [ had been 13 years"]

ayway yes the ultimate hatecrime song




various versions but  it may be in that one,  if not elsewhere " i cant even touch the books you red" i mean talk about  visciious hissy fittin. .

anyway having let go i have protective chronicles of most slamming the blower down hissin at me.. ..  over the last year,  folk from before heretimes i mean...icant seem to medt any new " human" here in Stepford-on-sea... but every single one when i call them up a few weeks later or even days later... and never refer to their little reaction... we are even better new best friends .. always... 

the hippoCret even likes my vids  he now says...

he tells me ..and their vocal body language is un Miss Takeable..( Shetoo can hear... i keep records for a reason!) .. all is well!  . no enemies... every little  bit of problematical ' relating' i have perfected the art of Be ing human and every day a new day ...  every chat good,  all past hissies or slammings under the bridge.. 

except with the one..

with  she '  licenses ' me and let me let go.. and for the first time in my life i 'relate' so utterly perfectly .. tough love humanist  brutally... ( as an act only string people who k ow why they love who they love can act so well) )  and it works..  i never needed to i was just fine

 but this is even better

it worked
her  inadvertant rather ehh... not very 'art' full
unanchoring 
me
 everyone else better friends than ever!!
and maybe even some may Be usefully collaborative in time
except the one

 who 
caused 

it

or sould that Be 'whom' ?,

(  i never knowEnglish too hard for me . ) 

just in that one double entendre  punned question .. is  the only answer  i would like to know

but it will

never

Be..