Curious thing is... well, not ' curious', but pure carelessness.
Even if one has one ' excuse' - for over ten years, the amount if time and more important " energy" .. you cannot buy, or sell, or even show to others.... wasted... drained, by endless weird digital hiding...
Endless. Default. ( is it only those who have the insecurities of a bad relationdhip with dad? i often ponder and know its a fair assessment...so its not THEIR fault... the glitch... the 'dysregulation'
In simple basic grown up communication ( i turned off Start The Week on 'ai' and Fakebook.. because none can say it failed to maintain simple humanity)
Anyway carelessness, despite the small space life being 100% ' bodily' ... and it is extraordinary how daily life is a cross between yoga and pilates, and 100% a dance..
always to make sure anything used aleays goes straight baxk in thecplace that ones mental map retains so as ine doesnt even need to see the item... touch finds it ... bending around, hand going to exact place an item is.... dont even need to turn, too...
But sometimes .. ( the draining of my energy, years going on) .. its my fault..no o e elses, as i havent maintained perfect habits i knew i needed a decade ago just to maintain doing my enjoyed things, the necessities, and the other sad necessities trying to maintain relations with whom there should Be no problem..
requires HABIT...
It is extraordinary tge amount of slightly critical things i lose in some crevice if my mobile bed ..and cab as office ( no condensation in the front area and no drips)
a lighter to fire up the gasring, a pen top, a usb charging cable... a pendrive... once a week some slight fretting over losing something...my fault.
But... especially this, emergemcy laptop charger surgery ( the plasticine tvey make the tips out if all worn away months ago)
I know that as sure as ferrets are ferrets a little critical bit will jump out as repairs ongoing and get ...lost...
so you ALWAYS open up diddy electricals over a tray...
but i didnt
my fault and whatdyerknow... bleedin critical small ring sized thing goes and falls into the crevices yesterdusk...
" no way am i finding that... probably bounced into the gubbins of the handbrake slot.... ohhh well leave it until goodlight tomorrow.. anyway no point any more having electronics... they made bith the two i find inteligent and spurited... gjosts... as always,was the case...my fault i knew it all long..."
however
i am sure the awful Christians got there first ...
But the best of all parable or lesson or true joy ...
actual amazing joyful BODILY energy
is finding that little bit of bobbery that you knew for certain was list to you forever....
Its definately my great philosophical finding this year ... so so ultra simplified as i am ... such that so few essentials are essential... and also having the TIME to search and maybe find... that bit.. that missing bit... which we do need...
Because its not a hologram... and i accept death 100%, but you only get one life. And we were given it to try and make some kind of most of it...
The hologram version was years ago in the Gell Mann book.... thirty years ago that one...
Frankly its as death cult and ciwardly as christianity believing it ..it may or may not Be true but we will never know...so assume we are only alive... and thats how to live
