Well, as we may attempt to attack it...
( miracles can happen..in Eckhart world;in real life its hard and messy, and you have to Be-lieve in your own spirit, if it is unique, and "warrior"like.. the good kind)
One has to describe it first.
I have had a productive 3 months, partly mojo -50% downtime.
I know where it largely arose from.
Which is inextricably part of what it 'is'.
And that is, ( probably along withUSA), from around the turn of the millenium, a conversation began
that was never infact had
" ehhh... while i am so busy overworking for more money to afford loadsa new stuff from the Guardian Colour suplement, or ASDA if the other 'class' and having a
'lifestyle' ... lets chuck the parents in an old peoples homefarm.... [ the one by Hay the food budget is starvation rations[sic]... and certainly don't think about how UK,- almost alone in the European 'west' in the rate of farming oldies, is going to pay for subcontracting the work and time needed to... someone else at £500 a week of national debt dosh"
in simple terms, as the people thought of every excuse or justification for not lookin after the oldies or sick parents...
they started to transplant their 'care' genes ..into
caring about
all sorts of things they can neither understand, control or know if performative 'care' may even benefit those cared 'for' ...so often from their 'armchair' being nasty to JK ..etc..
Or making up imaginery other stuff
All partly a displacement of actually caring for or finding some way of poppin in and pickin up the pieces
of the Parkinsons
fumbled plates
litterin the kitchen floor
or accepting the whiff of amonia
not absorbed by a yrillion of public debt which like a well used nappy is so full to bursting
not a penny more
thry all got spent!!
but the truly ultimate performative.. is when the brown woman spring 2020 calls into Today
to perform
" well i am a carer from Hay-on-wye [ not born bred as there are none, brownbornbred] for my oldfolx ... ] desperately exhausted emotionally caring for my olds.."
only a little later in her performative radio callin do we sort of gleen....
this 'caring' is by
phone
200 km up the road
and she doesnt even have to bother journeying that pathway any more, the convenient kindof travel ban.
so she can get back to caring to tell the truth of the region on her Mac ... and film edit for dosh, the biggest load of lies ever...
and
we....
lass 'n i.....
offered her a spare room .. when we heard how she was performing "homeless" at the barsnack bar...
i am not a cynic i used to believe especially what any brown peep said afterall ' shared opression' blahh blahh...
the night before she was to exchange ...
on a very large property.
But i run ahead of
my memoirs
that are full of poetical word pix
unlikely ever to be quite rolled out
As i only wish to bolster a woman who actually did nurse her dying mother
.....real life used to interest me.
But if no one can stop and ponder it...or think.
Theres no hope
unless..
Anyway .. now i have all the time in the world, i took the time to look up the music of other lineages.
And had to smile.