In a truly good state of nothing.
When one moves (in my case so many different countries peoples in my 20s and 30s... i know they're all bullshit in one or other latent state of greedily brokering bombs to kill children in Yemen [today] with... as much of uk the broker nation to the wold of bastards.... hides....so nothing ever excites me)... especially (best state to be in) relocates to a place where there simply is NOTHING.... (even though i know there is a spark of something real in one here - but shes too stuck hookering some ism or other to the others to LIVE...be .... real) ...
NOTHING: is the best state to know. I am absolutely nothing as especially in the SW the environmet is fucked beyond belief, and the people so absurdly shallow or lost in fey vudu and " the surfers will save us" when we knew 20+ years ago you have to be a juvenile child - not a real one, who may indeed be able to play for real... to show off on a big slab of foam...
And somehow claim some 'noetic' or in touch with nature bullshit when in fact its seemingly all about getting the coolest pic with a 5 grand telephoto to sell for 5 grand in some absurd sybarite tourist shop...
One knows - i can feel, nothing....
Except some interesting new walks... avoiding the DOG WALKERS
(my facebook perfect rest of lifer list i must add that: I have had miraculousy 7 or 8 really good long chats with women who i notice who do NOT display their identity or ability to contriol via a DOG.. they have dogs ... they agree with me in fact are equally perturbed - we have written joint audio essays on this total fascism of expressing... what ... well i know it is neurotic overcontrol the last 18 months arising...via the dog... a dog needs to be allowed to JUST ...BE....a dog... and thus will have a healthy mind... i have had may animals and truly am in awe in other kids of obvious true intelligence - some more intelligent than human intelligence such as having mental environments based on smell profiles or all sorts of other paradigms they excel in we cannot even really know... but they are lesser when it comes to truly knowing life and all harms to them... we in fact must be 'carers' even to the toughest dog as they have not evolved consciousness or intelligence to know that some humans are so psycho they may torture them for some bizarre fun (having been in ferret rescue circles i have seen this fact)
NO DOG OWNERS...in fact no animal owners.... as the British as some neurotic anti human bossocraciness especially after 'they' perceved they had lost [bourgeois] 'control' by late 2021.. as a proper solitude accepting rural person i notice REAL patterns and the way the Brits now overdog their dogs in fact extends to all their pets.... they excert ego via their animals... which is the exact OPPOSITE of how one should be with any anmal ever....
And 6 or 7 fine women (i homed in on seeing scruffy mongs, and scruffy simple collars when a £50+ harness has now become de rigeuer...) entirely concur, except the arrogant Brits cannot ever say one thing i trained myself to say ...and BE!!
" we lost... they won... their way has overwhelmed all past a-dog-is-a-dogniness... i know when i lost!
ANyway yes ... it is deep within me BODILY...not 'empathy' thats as usual in UK a label displayed to con others one is some perfect thing one could never be as one doesnt have ANY space to ponder being...
i.e. horrid bourgeois consumerist feisitiness... bristling with SOMETHIG.... even if it is a skill or talent or even a knowledge of all these dreadful 'label' words from on the spectrum to knowing of some truly wow 'method' to get through.... all everything ever is: humans' spasticus..
But to back out of all clever wordiness i can sometimes enter the fifth element zone and they come just likethat when i have never even imagined i could be that (FACT i have 3 years of texts lovingly insulting the only human seems to still be human fatman Mister Mongo Punjabber ...cos he started to insult me and thought he was funnier than me, well he was....until the goddesses went and intervened to make it a draw..)
There are the few of us - none SOuth of Bristol or East of (a N/S line down through) Hereford who know being NOTHING....for a long long time...
WHo also may just know what 'consumerism' REALLY is....
ALL of consumerism that evolved into consuming image and of course that means ONLY projecting it, too...
I WEAR NOTHING EVER THAT SAYS ANYTHING EVER.... i have a 'Prospect' bag as an act of private poetical ironic something... as i know the UKS leadig intelectual writer spot is so effete and arrogant and frankly useless... never mind HIS bad manners when i went for a nice chat with him on the environment end of May... fuck the rude little Londoner toe rag with painted on false smile and lies about his magazine caring... utter people pleasing liar...as an act of true performance ART steal a bag... so i did.
But to simplify it maybe hard... and maybe i am not ready.
And this is incomplete.
And wasnt planned but it maybe is the actual 'pupose' of being somehwehere i have no afffinity at all simply to stand back and let all of many years coagulate into something....to say:
SO... her... it was such a real unique privelage to say " i can see... 53 ... you are starting to die ... qe....somehow need to be saying something better about the state of society as YOU are certainly inteligent enough and NOT barbed wire at all you know we NEED to....and that we are not saying anything useful i can see you are dying of that.."
And with her only ONE FACE she agreed....
And that is profound...and BODILY has gotten into me....
so what... likely never hear from them again i dont get it NO ONE wants to ever find actual over-time affinity ...
And i am (especially as a man) not allowed to be the guide forward i long knew about that one and am too fagged out from years of people pleasing fakes...
NO ONE EVEN DID A JOT with loads time on hands 2020 and on to ACTUALLY save the water from becoming shitty...FACT...i know i have 100s or recorded convos from 2020.... moaning... "we are becoming 'aware'.." but not one follow on act EVER.... my ex regional rivers ALL fucked destroyed dead.... not one smallest 'action' ever.... and i knew all the ones who SAY they care....
Anyway i gave up.... on hold only, living 'nowhere' quite happily as i am good at there being no conceivable ethical or uman link between me and my local environment (people) so am in a good state to observe....
And all i see... is 'expression'... a boat is a useless silly thing - you cannot go around the corner and parj up at some nice pathway in the wilderness as most of the bank is owned...nope yo have to park up around other children called boat fans... we knew 40+ years ago boating is an absurd thing for men with small willies to project some specialness ...
Or men with maybe ordinary sized willies who never read a good book and have nothing philosophical to say so they perform being something to all the other men (and now women) just like them...
All ..... BODILY references are however invalid, even the English disease (as all my majority West European friends knew of in the 80s/90s... ) even if its USA too...being utterly terrified of the orgasm.
In his case especially if he went tp private boarding school, something nicely wrapped up with a ribbon - the box in his school colours, nany left high p on the mantlepiece as a present we will never open... maybe as a remindr of a mummy he hardly ever saw....and a daddy too busy shaggin the serfs or London performers to ever raise his child to be a man....
No 'bodily' ... its not bodily when absolutely everything everywhere became ONLY consumerism and then consumerism+ which maybe is best put as the funky looking STUFF, or clothes, or houses no longer eing enough 15...certainly 10 years ao it all became also consuming 'practices'.. the clue is in the word, they are practicing life... rather than jumping off the cliff cos you love her and there she is way down below dancing her dervish dance in the sands and...
as sure as ferrits are ferrits will stab you....
but at least its LIFE.... not having any practice parachute...
NOPE... the curaters and 'practitioners' have the answer...you of course must be seen paying for... it will be KNOWN you have paid... them (even if and m few sane women friends do now chime) its a ...her....
just consumerism. Not livingism....
so endeth the lesson (thank you the latest little digital assumer [trare - 'wow' a direct demand superb!!] . ..fuck that worked.. a sneaky little dig is all i need to let go entirely - never ever personally - i have othing to say to any English person ever ....except the dying 53 year old ... she wont die but needs to live she knows that i know SOE of the techniques!!!
and trust my fingers !!! and i dont know where some of those 5th fuckin dimension phrasings came from but i know they are rather good...
however i so so dont care i only care about walking hand in hand a lot of sweaty puffing KM....and actually doing some real good to the body...for it (and creativity as it MUST have MOVEMENT..)
i annot be bothered to move in to the shadow so i can read the screen just typed ..i cannot see sat in the sun....so it may be unreadable gobbledygook... and i know only one thing: - what zen is: wellrested, did your best.... one is in a state to let go and know "well if there are goddesses they knew the words i was trying to type until it got all typoey.."
ND IF A LIVE ANOTHER DAY THIS 'SPACE' IN MY LIFE I DO NOT SEEK EVER... BEEN THERE, DONE... GOT THE ...(acccap yes the way so many middle aged men must all wear t shirts saying some clever thing...
here...
when the only slogan they warrant is i havent grown up enough yet to get through the day saying nothing, or something vaguely about what to do about anything so i revert to childhood with this silly line of cool sloganeering on my back or chest.."
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