...so many 'writers' over the years i have brushed up against, except they aren't (and it may be why they all die so early - those trying to hide some of themselves... have angst, always, fact and i have never met an honest English writer....ever) ... BTW my writing is interspersed with every day 4 or 5 face to face parts of 'it'...i weave onwards - post the page, here, in person to someone new...just met.. and hen sometimes i go back (by phone) to my "narrator" as i termed her to her face a few years ago before really even knowing i should write..all.
Maybe one day i can weave that part of it in...fuilly.
As today so Suzi...." now it is clear even Kal**n is stuck...so sad...he was he best hope for sanity.....my best one hundreds of hours over seven years ... nope...he
"too...you know theyre ALL lost...stuck.... hundreds.... i wish you well but cannot see how it cam work with NO reliability..ever...
"you need a team... great new art requires vision and fight....so much only 'safe' crap and... the rest... of the crap... anyway how shall i portray you in my ongoing 'live' memoirs...?... heres a question i do not know the answer...so i shall wait..."
But...if she blames Bob for her being "blocked" - yet another 'energy' lost loon..blaming someone else... not the alcohol, lack of excercise, voting BREXIT when every other arty progressive for miles voted to stay......chubbiness...not being fanciable due chubbiness.... well Bob better be hankful it will take at least a few years to get imaginary sleights onto he statute books as actual agressions...specially when he lives with his wife and kids...
But people...this is another local - last locality.... very full of her credenials as wise mother hen (even if too control freak and lost to have any chicks of course) middle aged woman in her intellectual prime...as is her position in society... leader of 'community'... whom thinks hocus pocus - the clever Tolle or Gurdgieff (can be bothered to check spell) versions of course... define reality... funny way of describing bad books... life is real...weird uncontrollable just do he opposite life....
in other words control - the English disease... makes you ill. As she sure has many symptoms of just that reality...by any reasonable standard - such as her 30 year best friend's i know her too...
But tha sounds like bitchy gossip - the 'line' is hard, because i have ONLY one objective - to set out how not to live as an example of a generation unlike anyone else i believe in and do love...learn from us - our utter mess - Greta too childish to know... only grown ups should be commenting on WHY...
every piece of plastic, every item in Skippy's skips..(of course she gets 'environmental' grants - all have a story of how individual people failed to help each other rescue all their left behind bits and bobs...and large items too...all quite reusable for years.... they no one else fail to reuse property...after one or others divorce... after an eviction - no help working out how to best reuse or pass on he stuff (wih heart) ...almost ever..
My rule is no matter how evil an ex acted...perjury..lies to press....still send back to her her left behind knickers...nicely washed....and a few other items behind the van bed..... her property is her property...always...
No exceptions. Always protect someone elses property....
But of course assumptions feelings stuckness...all get in the way of that - politicians of course do subtly control and manipulate..and use fear as weapon number 1.....but fuck me we knew all that decades ago - even not very good hyped up film maker Adam Curtiss figured all that - it is ONLY that the 'people' cannot act better than all that continues....that alone is why the people are the problem...no one else, ever.
All feelings are just....silly
And phases...but no one ever any more knows this... the whirpool already is here...
everyone just used bathwater
so dull
