the sad little control freaks
what would make them REALLY bitter and twisted...if British..
(other peoples...cultural constructs i do not know...though kn8ew some of them well once.)
. A year ago i only had one dilemma in life...one!
only one:
interesting simple period 2003-10....
boring to write about it but easy...
jtem 2,..... then ... 2010 to 20...utterly fucking thrilling part spiritual part weird magical...utter extraordinary odyssey.... learning figuring so much about maybe even better rules of 'insight'..creativity especially...poetry...... too good, too precious... i cannot let it out... there is too much.... kismet, serendipity ... noetic ... SUBLIME...even a little transcendental...
figuring the farts my way from the maybe,fairies all so utterly a gift... but keep it to self...too big too precious... dont want to ruin it til ready.. . and i never will be..its too big too much....
2020 on fun times...best silver linings playbook [ not copyright moi] ever... but not allowed by neurotic towny media sick gatekeepers to roll that out yet
but item 2...
one person only... caused me to in fact let go.... into that fabulous decade... relating it, trying to riff upon it... to her....first..as maybe able to get it ANB beljeve her own wkrds ( sadly not)
8 month ago that was even a disthrbing notion to me.....it will hurt ..be enbarassing...i will get blocked ( mentally)
but one small key... no matter how rusty her locks are, and she never had the keys... to anything....and surrounded by high viscious fencing and guard dogs..
by only one person
licenced..not parasitically-metaphysically...but bodily
licenced
a change that ..i only feared as beyond me...
weird old fuckers those black swans.... and this unknowable mind....
we ALL share as standard... in wbat it can be... i am nothing slecial.
all my comprehensive scool results said as much...
let go and KNOW
a fair bit of what we know
is wrong
is all i
know
and i also know once its 'out' you cannot change it back....to not being out
so i have a whole new me outed.. i wished to keep...hidden
thank you
no more dilemmas...ever
