There is nothing better than to be in the place, which although it is almost impossible to put into words why it is so death-on-two legs, just being here exhausts. Exhausts is the word. Not 'exasperate', or 'drain'. I guess it is a combination of the hot air and the hot engine - unstoppable, the noise of the machine, and the 'vibration'. Never mind the waste product; The vibration which is " oooohhh, you can't say that..or you will upset the balance of this fine machine" Especially when one asks the question what it really is for ...
A day or two here serves to bodily-remind, how completely smothering to the spirit the whole thing always is. But spirit smothering - or just a full stop, is good.
Because, if real, and not some confected feeling for posting into some online swirl hot air, that in fact does burn - i know she is burning herself out with all those likes, and comments, it causes a real STOP! "why would i WANT to attract attention from the people here..?!" But far more important, reminds me of what made me feel only good, no matter what - especially the winter gone. Even through real connection, and confusion as to how to make it "work" - the one change above all that i know shifts the internal gear - and even that is poor metaphor for a quite different soul taking over, is movement. Even in the toughest deep winter minus five all day, and prospects not very good, to say the least... move.
But it must be a fairly decent longer landlope - long and puffy enough for the body to return to a state where it bodily reminds itself "you are all you have, don't let the foibles of the rest distract...and yes even celebrate how remarkably resilient the whole package - or human shaped biome, to correctly term the symbiosis of so many forms of life, other DNA, bugs and beasts that are the 'body', is if you just keep on rambling..
No matter what.
But of course that isn't very 'social', and we are that too. But certainly not this way....
