The psychology of simplest living, via my stories of many years truly simplest living. Real ones - not earnest or pious.
Ten years a landloper. Time to tell those tales, too.
Ralphschism.com My permanent one home online started 22 feb 2023.
Start at the beginning (first 'post' - click 'older posts' bottom right hand corner ). Themes are developed and then woven together - a series of regular essays. Some in handwriting; some audio/vid.
ONLY peaceful nice content here. 07958 5263eight1
with this load of performed girly wanna be a rockstar crap, not her fault just didnt have the cultural construct to not fake it....
trying to shock when all they're trying to do is have as big a rockstar motor as Mister Cash...
And you get the olne who was FAR more Trump than Trump, and INVENTED Trump
but you can't say that to an English girly...
so thick she can't even bitch about FACTS, such as the black man ( i was conned into taking my lass to see his 'people'celebrating in London) kept up the highest spend on Mad Max ever, or as good as....
never mind
The Obama administration has cut fewer nuclear weapons than any other post-Cold War administration.
But far far too long of explaining " even Lorna Doone1976 BBC version on Youtube is a superb treatise on pacifism...." to the British and not one can just stop fighting with you...
you know there's no hope
And stupid yanx could never understand.... real cultural critique with soul, and stories.......was all there ever was...
I know what ticket, i want... and the poor Europeans have often become as cynical too.... believing the Anglospheric space cadet propaganda. ...
(never mind unable to think howe a fine singer equalling Bob in every way, except in feyboy good looks, of course never became his equal..in the record sales dept, but he did in authenticity even keeping that marriage ongoing decades..)
As i once discovered one late afternoon there....
And a train journey later on from there to her home town over the border into Belgium, with such a lovely at ease woman.... who i was meeting for the second time that day.
" me ive tried to tell them..... not only when a young man even one with a penchant for fancy shirts and suits we all rather mocked... put all his violence into the microphone .....
"every bloke pogoing there wouldnt even dream of smashing the camera of the bloke there taking pretty pix......
" its her birthday soon.... i mean she came on the telly only a few years later...and we watched it i don't know if she made it to TOP POP filmed in Rotterdam but i would have refused to fly her over on health and safety grounds, if they had booked me ..... i stuck with the Nanas... that was enough to be their chaperone one evening in Amsterdam as the drunk Cure were chasing them around with randy intent.... bastards kidnapped my lil' plane to race after them as they had run into the other blokes, which was THEIRS, screaming ' emergency exit, NOW...fuckin take off mister driver ...... . theyre gonna mean what they say..... and i got stuck with the piss heads in my tin can, pissing into our picnic box i had to clean later ... an air taxi pilot's life is no different to.... [SHE SAID IT ON WIRELESS FOUR YESTERMORN - this material is only half begun]
" when we saw her we knew she's utterly insane bonkers dangerous..... not 'but' just is an even truer true genious.....
" if there had been a few more Siouxsis in charge all of her speaking of dont you dare come near my gusset unless you have something intyelligent to say....rather than the ones who brag about being intact age quite old.....
" we wouldnt be here..... but i do think its why the poor little retarded sex criminals over the pond haven't even dared to have a woman president yet.....
" i mean Patti she was you could see in pain being herself.... and would have a sore crotch from even a tame nag under her fake punk skirts.... and tell you about it ad nauseum....
So... there you were... age thirteen fourteen...still age sixteen but by then had learned to avoid the boozy lot by running away with the other lot....
And their lil' bit of pot....
REAl 'fear' 's a real thing....
Forget them Sarajevo lot
at least they had some community, and solidarity,
on the same side, old Jenny Cideres..on it tearin their flesh for a stew
they knew, nothin of why they had to "alchemise" their society
into something else...
In the vile land of Military Industrial Complex, brokerage
at least by the newer agetimes, ninetine nineties they'd learned:
don't be the actual arms dealer Mark Thatcher
son, of the evil one
Nope be the middle man brokerin' them from your houseboat
on that Thames or even Gweek....
there no one will even take a peek
at what's below decks, that's for others to tweak
far away and long ago
Anyway ... saudade is, a moment.
More than a moment.
A story. Just tellin' real reality.
The nineteen seventies were less violent (The Luton babe agreed with me just a few weeks ago - her an actual schoolteacher there, my age, and her bloke
"so it it the immos has the Tommy stuff made it all febrile for a while?"
"nope its something else set in a decade or so ago...as you say dont believe the BBC the screwdrivers in the eyes down casualty... say something that was never said before" )
But more routinely 'violent' in a really rather cider headed way.
Take one lost boy floating around the local waters.
A rat of a brother and runt of a sister, not their fault, sent away to private boarding school
(ALL MONEY LOST SOME YEARS ON THANG GOD I'M NO FOOL - ALL INHERITED WEALTH FUCKS YOU UP MORE THAN 'MUM AND DAD' )
So even if one - me, age about eleven has a personal quiet revolution
(ohh ...she is my tutor too, " so was Rasputin a positive revolutionary of a negative one as we have been lead to believe...?" unflinchingly " a positive revolutionary" and she has a daughter she loves)
And refuses to go to school away rather staying around the local VERY 'umble yeomanry, mainstay Ralph the first a solid tree of a man taught me my scything the even more important lesson, AND to sharpen it AFTER the job awaiting the start of the next job..." you would get accused of OCD ADHD if that was your setting nowadays...
So your rat 'n runt are lost forever as you can take the girl out of the private school but not vice a versa...
And of course both become only shabby celebrity obsessed....
and any sane father wants to keep their child away from everything Olly wrote about so well in Affluenza... indeed them. Exactly.
Which is hard and requires endless kindly explanation, neutrally, with story, as one doesn't want to be thought ancient Marxist, but sometimes family can obviously be so guaranteed to fail, as both of them did, to ever even have their own...
As SO many of the very loose 'set' they partly inhabited of the very sparsely scattered 'set' around N Wales of other private school ed kids they knew.. - almost all who died young and all of whom were obviously as one occasionally saw them into ones later 20s, were really fucked up...and ,many died young.
Anyway good for me revolting.....
But there's one thing you couldn't avoid, in a small very working class ordinary comprehensive, in ones school 'community', age 14 that a few of the thuggish ones - not many but a few almost exclusively runaways from Liverpool 50km or more away (and no one ever went there in old unreliable motors days, nor thankfully did they come to our hidden valley and hills of paradise)
they.. the few school bullies, picked on the one who had a brother and sister at the posh schools..
One person alone in my schoolyear was often enough at the disco the one who would be not dancin' with some girl he fancied i still remeber perfectly age 15 and DAwn is there in front circling and she's smiling nicely at last....
And number 1 psycho-lite out of nowhere his knuckles are hard in my face....again....
That dawn had to be suspended... for a few months anyway
As you skulk away outside, frightened...
Anyway fast forward to yesterday early evening.... I don't go up to English blokes who have that bullneck rather full of steroids look, and say to them...
" mate... how old are you!? ..." " sisxty two..."
" well...ferk me i thought you were younger you look pretty young buck for that age..... but i never imagined it could be done, but you did it...you did it.....
" i skulked away in my bedroom as a teenager.. fuckhard wildman of the hills bigger than these underwhelming ones up there.... actually gallopin' em to shepherd my sheeps...no helmet.... even once foot went down a bunny hole when i was alone, full tilt...near broke my neck when the nag rolled OVER me it still rings in my head.....
but that's animals they are easy... other blokes fuck......hard
i spent most evenings raising myself almost exclusively on the likes of ....
" and down the pub Richard Jones or some of his mates would hunt me like a dog they would kick for fun.....
" but one learns to divert to the nicer ones who dont drink so much,....
" anyway... you get down eventually to London or even erics in Liverpool.....
" and you walk in to some dirty....always dirty... pub which hasnt had a lick of paint for years... the smoke tar is the walls.... and there's a noisy vibe to use todays rediculous word...an UNvibe.... everyone there is sort of well they arent quite sure why they are there there's nothing else to do....
" and then he... at first mainly a him, until the girls got rightly into the act too.... he would get up on stage.... no flash gear.... probably cheap guitars cheap drums cheap aftershave even if real men back then knew that only cheap men use that poison....
" you could still see the shaving cuts on his face even if he had only just come of age so as to have a fluff to cut....
" and he would stand there all swiveleye.... almost enraged.... pure rage... pure
" well its as simple as this he had NOTHING.. he had nowhere else to be or nobody else to be as they hadnt been told by anyone even mum n dad about some of the earlier good stuff.... mum n dad eckerslike down the pub singin Brotherhood of MAn songs ....
" he would stand there welded AT his lip, to the microphone singing ...scvreaming..... about how he couldnt even get a job as apprentice welder in Maggie's evil towns twinned with America, now...
"but he wasn't really complaining or moaning.... he just had nothing else to do.... nothing.....
" and in that moment...of rage... pure spittin' and spatterin' with his welded lip so he couldn't even spittlespatter that elegantly unless he spat even stronger and more visciously....
" you just knew even me a bit scared of tough guy blokes....
" that you could go up to him aftershow and in fact pet him on his head... ' you just did it....you found the answer to what is elsewhere... and he wouldn't glass you even in darkest deepest NAtional Front regions of town..
" he would shake your hand....."
" and that was what real art was for....
" but it was gone... there is no way that moment could be recreated... especially here.... its impossible.....
" but ... when you played it... when you screamed it...and the whole pub screamed
"AND A KICK IN THE BALLS.....
and that Tom Cat....
" i ...well there arent words for the feeling of total paradise ...never mind being reminded London could once do poetry perfection.....
" but you did summit even better.... you also were all the rest of them spotty lads who knew they would never get on the telly...or even one day become even he blotted his copybook to say the least with his support of 'Deaf to the ID deathsqauds..... '
"you somehow were all of them rolled into one..... the unseen lads who all they had was that microphone...and turned it into a white flag, pasted onto Siouxsi's perfect gusset, too.....
" there's no way anyone could ever have taken me back into that Camden pub in 1978 or nine ...... not even promoted... him - the violent thug, at the mic... maybe Polly Styrene queued up for her turn next as pure equal.... and even she knew she wanted to take him home to meet her moggies... and purr at him....
because..... he had found his purpose.... and all his rage and hurt went into what really was the greatest art...ever.... even if i prefered my Queen Joan....
(three chats rolled up into one for artsistic intent)
" bugger me though... just as you had finished these birds walked in and unlike nowadays i just made a friendly quip....
" and this perfect one as if one was back in that pub in Camden in 1978 ... as i to allay the death cult hall of mirrors everyone else is stuck ion i gave her my real version of Britalin..... and ferk me she didnt do THE POGO at me slanted into me with razor blades in herr fringe they all do..... she said twice, she agreed....with me.....lovely smiley agreement just simple old saudade style....
" what am i doin' chattin' with you ... a man can't live on us old geezers knowing what was once good..... i gotta go and find her.... "
where i have spent a lot of the last few months with a good book and sunshine, in almost paradise..(" the cleanest waters runnin' by in the whole of this polluted land") .. not a bit of malice in sight... nor even a phone signal.
Now...... it's all very simple. Saudade, i STILL must get back to finally riffing upon - the rematch, is real.
I mean never mind the truly Greatest Beauty (by far, of the whole region, bet she knows it too, even if too humble to ever admit ot or say so ) who i thought was snubbing me, actually calling across the street sweetly a greeting, from under her bicycle helmet, which makes her look so much less beaut ... covers up her glorious silverishness.... it actually shocked me, but that's not a saudade as no one ever in the past in my whole life, has ever made a point of being overtly greeterly to me....
But a saudade actually is, knowing as i know that there's no real fellowship in the region, and anyway long ago i gave up ALL nightime activity or even daytime 'event' attendence...
But then she..or i should say THEY - Mister and Missus Ruskie, even if he is a rare Brit who is above all nationality ....may be around and she makes me so ridiculously happy.... so i thought i may see them again...
(later on, at dusk " ehh up duck.... look ...your missus when i gave her the culture list you failed to EDUCATE her with and said i have put on it films that didnt require thinking in the required four dimensions, as she was busy with the to quote her 'fucking evil, useless Tsarist ' tradespeople who wont fix her kitchen equipment...for months.... she without a millisecond barks at me ' you think im a retard..' at that millisecond i fell in luv.... she MUST be the leader - she alone can save us...all our children yours too.... i am grooming her.... she still wont listen to me when i told her if she went down there where they're all gathered now and used that word fairly loudly there would be a stunned silence...and then booing.....and as for the 's' word.... from Ian Drury's FABULOUS artsongs... that would get her arrested..."
"whats this word i need to know!!??? he is saying here... silly man thinks they would dare arrest ME..... ....why haven't you TOLD me it you retard...thirty years on uneducating me in our marital bed......i need to know it...NOW ... you have held OUT on me!" )
Anyway....saudade is something that a realistic non mentally ill European knows yes its kindof long gone in the past the good version of life.....
yes if you fight or just PERSIST..or like Pereira, you Maintain... maybe you may just get lucky and win in the end as he does at Rua Saudade in that wonderful book of EUROPEANS STILL WANT TO LIVE ON....
without pills. That really arent good for your kids or their buddies - uk went RITOLIN 30 years ago for gods sake despite it being offcially unethical to test drugs on children... far far moreso than any European nation
why for 25 years i say to all parents "if you love your 11 year old...never mind 15, their mates on ket or enough of them even here...[ i have footage of the many gathered ket smokers at Southern Cornwall cliffs especially the posher places like Porthleven...EVERY day at schools out time..] . .find a way sooner or later to escape..... as even if they are raised brilliantly and all free range half their mates are permanently rewired in the head in a not very good way..."
Anyway.... so, even Portuguese rules of saudade also says its DEFINATELY not possible to get 'it' back - that which was really good, once,,,
That which is simple.....sweet...lovely and healthy....
And there you are in the very last place in the Swestershire drug factory you know you wont find it.....
...and if you don't listen ALL the way through, apply it to those around you, and even pay for my book to be published (no British publisher ever would as they are parasites prostituting - from about 2010 - in the same meetings and pubs as BBC, on your child's lowest common denominatrix....
" we can only sell books that have confected victimhood, saccharine vulnerability, and DEFINATE innate disabilities the fruitier the better, as we can't outcompete the crap coming free from Yankland online"..) YOU ARE SUPORTING CRMINAL JERRYMANDERING FARAGE..intgent to supply or be supplied with casheroonies.... as at least 30% are SICK of this, know something is wrong with it all, DARENT say... but do dare to vote for his load of actually nutjoblydivergent same old spivs..
And this is how t5o stop him start being honest about what many do know deep down...it's no ones 'fault' but still the solution isn't loads more cash and lanyards the UKIPPERS rant against, too...
free substack ................basically unless you buy me a coffee (link above) at local champagne socialist prices you should buy him and Trump one instead as thats what you are doing by not DOing something about all this....for the good of the un sufferer who is by having his or her cojones removed nothing to do with 'trans' but cojones are the cure....and they hurt when they get kicked, but you're better off for it in the end..and all your labels...disappear...
audio
How to CURE all yer adhd, autism, ocd, ‘social anxiety’, insomnia, hasburgers, and almost all the rest of it all.
Virginia Mackenna in Ring of Bright Water is the dirtiest sexiest best role model bit of fluff in the history of porn flix
and works....
so go out and feed the swans at least....
and for the girls, John Ridd in the 76 Lorna Doone on Tube, is pretty hunky as a 'cause' mentor chap you may fantasise about in his sheepshed, if you ask even me....
reprisde but talk about seeing SO much of how her BRILLIANT writerly words, came true..in action, one dawn after a good thrashin'
"they're [the Oracle Girls, are] killing them softly..."
a woman who knows what KILLING means having seen it first hand many a time
"gee whizz you're better than me..."
and not many of OTHERS' words get into my VERY VERY much in need of an update, special words notebook.
Even that a waste of time.....
ahh hhahhh yes a few weeks back, goes with the page here 'baggery'... me the inverse unsquared lore,
of her
never mind knowing exactly what it's really all about, saying everything except what a performative fancybag, is: wanna bit of THIS
now i have NO interest in the whole Swesterly fluffhole..
REAL child killers came to live at my lasterly
The one who would drive through OUR Woodlanders (actual as in the book the whole 'feeling' untouched for centuries...in fact since Byron's last summer holiday in the UK, there...) yard...
In they came - him and her, even if the kids were his...
And she is a performative 'carer' (every other word she performs it in any chat) in the small town nearby
But i have never seen someone drive so often so fast through our old ancient ungentrified courtyard... many a morn... despite a much nicer sign than this one...
i have dozens of OUR sign - lovely handpainted far larger....
but it takes ...time....
in tyhe summer has been saved for truly wonderful walks...
and efficient use of weather
aggh i forgot this loops back into
NOT finished yet link to come
I THINK it was this wandering audio a few days ago, on best ever walk .....
buried in here
as my design, linking, never mind indexing services...take second place
in fact duaL NATIONAL WOULD BE GOOD EVEN IF neither HAVE A BEACH..
oops acc cap....
I missed a bit yes the true tragedy i realised maybe 6 mths ago...two years by her seas..... my god i am tougher than old boots but about half the time roughly had the partial shits.... Bristol (poo chart) runnier stuff.. and yes that is the sea.... only....
even if of no interest to me ... won't do that again despite the most gorgeous coves... we did have fun in ....
THE only thing that matters from LAST POST VERY MUCH rewritten
(my supoerfans really do very quickly gobble up my latest load of dribble..)
last post...
the one REAL question being does a few decades here for the fine European immo, anglicise-infect them beyond ALL hope...?
Especially having spent the most marvellous imaginable summer and a few more lovely plenishy days to go..
And realised there is no point ever having a sane intellectual conversation with any born in this land...
Ever....as they simply cannot even take in the little bracketed bit below - as if it is some ad hominem attack on their sensetive lil' brain..
(which never are, theyre LETHAL! the way they backstab )
HOW...ever... the real question has always been - only one for me: now...not all Germans are near perfect... ergo the one - Julia's mum, (one of my girls who contacted me from 2006 DEMANDING their story is told - names faces kids names....to protect them from one of the many sixth Reich departments - school, health, courts...local 'charities' - laughable, .etc... )
The German Eva....who had been here twenty years (then 06) married to the usual arrogant English cunt who didnt really even like his daughter... and spent a lot of time avoiding her ..off to boarding school than every single reason not to be around in her teens..
the one REAL question being does a few decades here for the fine European immo, anglicise-infect them beyond ALL hope...?
HOw... ever .. yes Julia's mum - many a time i would go to courts in London or to speak with her committed to the posh whacky ward... all on her behalf (once they had ousted her wonderful black other parent Donovan, being both were also of course rather racist cunty, as he wasn't quite what they wanted as a son in law and father of their grand kids..... But good for him he actually stuck in there and for some years was sole parent of two of the three chockies.... )
So me.....Unpaid.... no guarantee expenses - train back n forth, may not even be paid as agreed... and i got them back " ehh the stupid Kraut wouldnt think of this...basically spending the last a few years undermining our case to get them back......why dont you [Local Authority] even install cctv at Julias in the nippers bedrooms no problem... if you still cant trust her and feel she's a whackjob..."
worked. They didn't need to. They realised good rhetoric when they met me... was based also on knowing the lass (i didnt even like as i have nothing in common with private school girls living in London a VERY sad life of her only 'rebellion' was the endless black boys.. three becoming dads, two of whom real junkies too)
And... also bolstered by moi in the fight: "NO, MUM....actung!!.. my psychosis [ REAl lil' green men ] that was only due a really awful dad, and a bit of mix up in my blood....and you never rescuing me from his MONEY.... you were addiocted to..... and then years of having my babies stolen at birth Simon got back for me as you know as you did NUTHIN to help other than tell SS I am mad, and love junkie black blokes, and cant be trusted with them even if as we did, getting them care of you....and never even bought him a lunch when he came down to see me in the whacky ward committed...!!...no mum its NOT genetic.... my total cure proves... fuck off back to preschool and read DAwkins 1976 evil load of nonsense... and then learn how it perverted even you! ..that all is ONLY ever in the genes.... when even the BBC [in the thing below] managed to tell that truth, as lies..."
Fast forward to 2022 it was so lovely to hear Julia on the phone, five years free from her anti 'psychotics' they had had her on at least five years as condition of getting the kids back, that had been making her psycho..
I could hear immediately it was speaking with a completely different person. Every sentence every nuance was a person i had sadly never known. (even at very low dosage as she had been at times on). And her laughter - i had never heard her real laughter only performative to please.... them.
She enjoyed thinking and also thinking about the 'work' done (on her very warped childhood) and that she still needed to do - on the usual people pleasing disease... that was still pretty bad even five years clean and also a 'mentor' at Narcs Annon...she didn't need to be in as the very occasional once every few years crack guzzling was merely as she couldnt stand mum and dad.... she didnt actually like getting 'high'... it was just a release...
that of course must for the London lassies (this one could only afford a very dull far away suburb) ..turn into 'let me save the world by becoming a junkie mentor. i can use my ex junkiness [that never actually existed i dont work with druggies] for good .."
she was told.... ... because she agreed VERY VERY avidly with great laughter, to move on to help the next junkie in Presteigne as i was setting up, in return for free summer holiday with the kids....
and yet it never happened...
(REALLY hurting of course the next one down the chain.... which is what PP is... VERY dangerous..as NA do say blessem..)
Which is also why the BBC and all journalists are indeed the real NAzi's as even yesterday i heard one yet again on the BBC stating " the little green men are very very inherited...in the genes.."
As i heard a so called man tell his own gorgeous (i have film) daughter who was my fixing assistant in a job, four years ago that her mum he had made sure stayed in the whacky ward so he could get all the child payments... was " genetically ill with Green men..."
thus sentencing my lil' friend to a lifetime knowing as of course they do...metoo
Anyway not all Germans can STAY fine good minds.... and i wonder how bad the disease is of infection - that arrogance she spoke of...
*******
excerpt from private page in development this morn called tyrants
(To any person who has had mental health issues I always nudge them here the simply incredible documentary by the BBC https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5m331xWhy did i go mad...
Mainly in an attempt to counteract the tyranny in " psychiatric illness is genetic" that the majority still believe (and thus 'sufferers' can never be assisted out)
Also about the ONLY psych chap i respect having read many of them (i have read ALL of Bentall's books)
among other things i think it's really just about either being too thick to read reasonable books such as Kushner's Mars Room (even if not my normal cheerful happy ending like Coetzee's Michael K which is as cheerful as you can get, being it starts with him obviously knowing why he must end it...and he's right, and is a book of thus only beautiful small things, and real grace...
But really the so called elite or top third cash in back-pocket-wise, not very wise....
are too arrogant to know REALLY knowing the bottom third is the key to knowing anything, like why they are wrong those top ones...
But that's a long one done before though badly;
All it really is is in that old adage " knows the price of everything and value of nothing" being updated for some years to " nobody even knows that old adage ' knows the price of everything and value of nothin'..." especially if they listen to Muzz indeterminate Tempest and it's like...
and The Undercover Hippy (who isn't one) started it - the uktra performative self pity via so called street 'art', so s/he's just copying the same old formula for having no value, but a price, and their currency modern day moaning, when they wouldn't know how to care or what may be lost... the REAL loss.
The losses that rationally utterly do lose in you any point ever in any value anywhere.... unless you are actually rational despite your moaning
All i know is that all moaning - or to reterm: very very assiduous sounding VERY dedicated 'activism' which is the exact opposite 99% of the time, it is doing nothingism, but making out you are.... or to put it better as i did 20 years ago, knowing enough of them, the cleveratti who have signs in window saying " i am a citizen of Zog and assert my rights never to be ticketed..." never ever did a thing to change ANYthing....
And in the real world every single action, judgement, pretence, pumping up, pontification, became ONLY about having in the back of their, youtoo, most likely...minds where's the FISCAL angle for me one day..
cash thats all you are...
and all the Nigelistas want to keep their cash for a few more of them who ain't migrants or on the dole (facts we pay less pro rata than many EU countries tgo under pension age claimants of state assistance - FACTS.. and in fact the largest by far 'welfare' cost, issue... is, yes, the triple locked pension, who vote against the rest of them in the same food chain to get state support... )
and the ones who do ok in the bottom third by dint of the CASH they spend on the fanciest flatscreen tv, tattoos, or of course now must-have, the 4 grand wheelchair (XXX FILM OF LOVELY ANTHONY WE TOOK HE WAS GREAT - admitting he was only in his 5 grander due alcoholism cos he so hated his native Cornwall cos of all the 'hate' lot who had even moved into Porthscatho his born and bred place..and only wished to leave...)
anyway my unnecessary share of the pot, that's all everything is, especially as one can live just fine on absolute scrapin' the barrel bottom 10% cash... ok add in a tad embezzled legally from the banks, a few unpaid credit cards which is quite legal when you know even your 'farmer' landlordlady is so prejudice against REAL farmery animals - if you play with them and enjoy them, rather than shout and moan and control them as so many do their dogs, like our ferrits, and will find a way of costing you a lot by another eviction....
POST to be built up into how never to moan (with NO parachute, no family money, no one else to ENDLESSLY fix everything that needs fixing up in hills or even lowland smallholdings, and spending every penny only on ones family as that's your duty, always...)
and how even when you have the very worst imaginable end of life 16 1/2 years ago, you are certainly a nicer person than the endless childless vandals whom really do do so much...damage...
cos nice - ask Lionel Shriver a wise woman even if lousy writer, in her spring last year Start The Week, is bad.... nice is evil...just being 'nice' - having a society where demanding and performing nice, is really very proto-fascist, nasty....
especially when i knew even in the 00s how LITTLE parents actually DO for their kids even in middle of Nowhere Herefordshire or East Powys.. like be bothered drive em up to spend an afternoon, not even 'DONATION' ever mentioned nor even bring a can of cat food with you if you can.... with the local Supreme Ferret champion fuzzies there, years, for all and sundry to enjoy whoever they were......as everyone knew!
doing stuff is all that matters... and of course performative niceness is an evasion tactic in respect of ever doing ANYthing effective....
as they are the very time-consuming things....
to be cont
but the really NICE thing about even DOing everything for a child ten...even twenty years, and failing..is at least you were DOing something...real. And thus you remain intact, just fine...and thus love all the jibes and nasty assumptions from the unreal. It means keep on keepin on maybe jut one will prove, REALness....
also the cure to mental elfness.... and even ALL those 'labels' they all brag of EVERywhere in Swestershire...by default.
" ehh up... i was in Yugoslavia a few years before their war which really was pretty localised to a small region.... ive fallen in love witha couple of them...errata respected them as my exact strong equal......i have been acquainted with their great recently departed writer Slavenka .... they were in fact different as Yugoslavs were still allowed to travel abroad during the commie times... anyway even in 1992 we - myself and fine stable rarely intellectual English woman we adopted a Yugoslav youngster age nineteen to live at our basecamp with the three kids...Vanja.... almost in fact she was my adoptee... wasnt so keen on her at first but then one realised she had a deep real intelligence...took me at least a year to explain to her ' those lights of Oxford even regent street...all the expensive shiny new toys...do NOT make the people here happy, or nice ...or even safe luv..... ' and through our shared and most beloved mother henfreind she saw yes even her truly fucked by it all....status, class, the total fakery..... damaging, dangerous.... even more so than her mother being Croatian her papa being a Serb... all tragic...all of it....and Vanja from a poor BozzySerb village a bloodthirsty civil war ongoing down the local 'farmers market' for months... was as intelligent and shapwitted as any brit even in top unis.... but...... what one realised over the years..... was how the turbulence of even a small localised 'war' .. a rent in society... takes DECADES .. to just truly settle down such that one can have nice balanced sane chats even..... decades.... its not wham bang thank you mam see you in The Hague and thats the end.
Its decades... of paralysis... in all societies that have had such conflict.... even in itzy witzy bit of 'senseless' ones
(Arguably.... well we all knew the Irish 'troubles' there or those spilled onto UK mainland had some kind of sense behind them even if not something could make sense to the non religious or non nationalistic at the level of the minority, there....... so there was some almost understandable sense to that senselessness...)
so..if there's any really totally senseless even a bit of what Nige and gang kindof hope for deep down....
or are 'ready' for.... my ohh my it will be until well after I'm dead before one can once again have a jolly good balanced equal mature wise conversation such as with EVERY European i have nattered with for a decade ....
and i shall die of boredom, before anything else....
so... need elves.... ahahhh i have one a truest wisest elf ever...
but she will be busy a bit...
so.... i hope i die first of boredom, as looks on! before i have to DO... her..... soon. Starting with a self individuated universal book and culture list...
i shall copy it here too...
except of course it isnt really Nigel.....
never was..... it was always something else far deeper and in every black mouldy backstreet and fancy second home.....
to be cont
As it has been a lovely decade figuring it....from both sides, undercover
so, farmers and thinkers don't trust ANY product....
but when you think that probably you can trust the Yank over the Brit...
it's time to go
AHAHHH.....but there is another video a day later....
that only reiterates..
what known: why.... there's no hope..... not that it ever gets me down...
I bounce into the next thing always...as long as i get my 50km walking a week...
(and can chat up her on her 8.1 hander, just for fun... hahh hahh she was great!)
But anyway all that expensive and SO SO time consuming 'work' 'soul work' farrapy work, i know fails not as i did it on me but all one ever hears in Swestershire is how they have the 'best' lil' worker bee workin' on them, an d except for one (warrior) it doesn't work...
my my the fractured tooth rot that is all over ...
And i knew LONG ago that the 'work' that works is described at length in first long draft in here...
sadly to arrive at true ultra zenny wow my death will be groovy without any sky faery of ugly Buddha reversions
(soon an interview with fine 65 year old woman at the deathbed bedside of her bestie in the Far East and she's there witha Buddhist priest ...not long ago, interview 3 weeks back, . saying chanty bullshit and she says to him " if she pops it while i'm out getting some dinner for us can you put this flower in her hands please at her last gasp..." and in her words " the sexist cunt said 'i can't do that...as i am not allowed by my faith to pass on or even touch something from a mere woman'.i'll never talk to one of them fakes ever again...." posh intellectual woman who sought me out as i was chatting with her buddy ina church....)
one i think has to do some genuinely selfless long dull NOBODY KNOWS about it... goodish works over a long period on this planet first
which io also know is the cure to most mentul elves keepin' you awake at night and all that....
as per that page linked above
now there is so much ongoing far more interesting than natterin with krauts... even if to me it's the only way you're to be saved from as sure as ferrits are... it's going to get nasty...
Three years of REAL 'work' that never is for one second, as they are LAWAYS lovely and groovy....
and easy....
and human.
the raw data even if some context required, soon.
As one doesn't like at all to speak of even 'fascist lite' and it is the wrong way of putting it ...all.... a decade meandering and pondering what is the 'problem' which as sure as ferrits are ferrits (even at the level of the cash UK this week rated the worst bet in the advanced ecomnomies and paying a higher rate of bond interest than Greece... ) going to go not so well...
one of hundreds of real 'journalistic' chats with some Germans...
Discussing personalities and realities EU / UK....
the far better one is about 2 years ago which defines as it happens, never planned, the difference... a very very Master of The Universe, all under control, German man and his family, could laugh at him and his family..in fact HE made the joke "[ ten minutes of superb info on the best coves to shelter from the Westerly, after a period of dodgy weather that had made them miserable, as it was perking up a bit: " and that cove if you go down to the sea by that path it takes you to the more sheltered section where it will be five at least degrees warmer.... that path is better for the bicycles less likelihood of a puncture...."] ...ahhhhahhh... this is wonderful we have it all written down dankernn....but I am German...and i must keep to our plan hahhh hahhhh..."
"Mister you just defined whats happened... you can still laugh at yourself...many here nowadays never can..i call that .. certainly a dangerous stuckness maybe even the first stage of something your lot knew of a long time ago...and learned so perfectly, never to be again.... "
one of many many interviews over a three years with Europeans, mainly female... every single one in exactly the same relaxed philosophical vein..i never knew a homecoming for me would be remotely possible... until it was...thanks to a certain person....
should be in a big propper book... i already have in my can. For a few years. But too much good fun new insights into older stuff keep invading...
as nobody else is going to tell the maybe even 60% if Andy Pandy had the guts to do it now... who may just stick to their polled opinions, .... why!
(never mind three years as the founder sole member of the anti-English Tourist Board, human rights rescue service, as to why not to bother coming back...just when at last Ive been reliably informed OF a way back!!!!! 😂 with a residence permit.... if i compromise, or at least figure a way of creating a bit of an illusion that one has 'gainful' [AGGH: non self employed, the only way to live! ] employment, there.... )
but there's much more useful NOW stuff later today
