All first draft with the really fun bits yet to fill in

 ... even if the first seemingly fine mum of that river, seemed to care, but  huffily ignores

her kids got the GREAT cultural item first...

the one that made me... just be normal, and stick to the rules decades known, and know what propriety means; caring only about what next and passing on the good information you have learned.

And above all i know I was educated correctly by a little great culture, from the first great 'humanist' book to  Silas to the few Wendy Perriams who didn't get ruined   by showoff cleverness that amounted to nothing at all - all English so called men writers display like tailless peacocks, good for nothing but the pot; sadly for Mister Amis's grandkids...

MY daughter has to have at least an attempt at Ragged Trouseredly  attempting to bring alive, why her river went dead... the one 'one' would have thought could be saved just an itzy witzy bit...

And i know that only 'real' storytelling can possibly do that one day... I'm the luckiest person still alive my age...

 Especially since post-'ego' the amount of times i have in writing to a fair few performative 'carer's said you can 'share' it.... a rather useful chronicle  of  all of them...how they failed... because of themselves. 

There...not here... everywhere in UK dangerous if they think you may tell some 'truth'... funny thing as Mister Malle did in one line rather well describe: no not the 'damaged'  - at least she kindof remained on 'side'.....

shame damaged peeps bore me to death, too, even if they can be relied on to not actually care about past footstampy moments, as long as one has learned to not care about them, ever, either, nor take them ever to heart.... i only like, normal. How boring am i....  perhaps that's what you need to have done  areal George Borrow for so long...but only so my lasses lot actually have a proper  record that may even engage, even be "what in earth is in the next chapter the silly old madman  doesnt learn from his last one!"..one day, even if I'm long gone

That's all that matters - educating the next generation down.... why one tolerated it this far.... with sadly no real fun... only us Cider With Rosie lot

 who lived that so many years in our very well spent yoof

as there was nothing else to do

know what real fun is....

and real freedom

"hubris" plus

 even if the older one gets to feel so much younger one old hat matter is they hate big words such as that little one

free substack likely wonky audio ramble

"hubris" 29 dec ...but as usual loads of other cheeky bits woven in. All just part of a dull ten year odyssey - as 'vehicle', that turned out to have a happier than imaginable ending ... i like them

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/hubris-29-dec-but-as-usual-loads?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Anyway, all i know (add to The Bible on Freedom of Speech a few weeks back) is indeed having to self censor really hurts  - its the one thing that is more than a 'phase' as so much human 'illness' turns out to be in time....

And ten years later at least having began the book of why the Wye within ten years of my lass dipping ger toes in it 27 years ago and " daddy they tickle" even if it couldnt be articulated for another few years, within 10 years all those ticklish minnows would be gone dead forever ...

but it's why.... ?

And it's not the much maligned chicken concentration camps but the lack of concentration of actual humans who cared well before they arrived on the scene and the local good ole boys profited in ways can't be spoken of as it gave jobs and beer money...

All the years of " i care" turned out to be only care not to offend the neighbours or slightly richer incomers who they may one day profit from...

But as always its those who set up their stall 'caring' .... were the worst offenders in that the time wasted on them,  thinking they did ..is a great comedy book i know as good as Ragged...

if anyone still reads in a few years...

Must be done!

As i know who it's for....

meanwhile so so many little bridging bits to put in here and there is a whole new 'cause' page that who knows may be adopted by the one straight backed woman left in the land, one day...

As the one i challenged to a duel over 'feminism' ...her 'thing' to my end of year so bored with their bullshit.... didn't follow through its just comedy...

But soon there are to be the full interviews over a decade  where in private so many express their real views..one hopes?

Thing is.... there's one more last audio in the can ... if only so many knew how so many others are just so unhappy....(almost fatally). even here in Paradise-on-Thames...

And maybe it is because they too have tpo supress their real feelings?

THE END to be continued as the real version soon...

 

"hubris" delayed...

 due the sunshine

... but what matters is in fact i was right:

when you've not got nowt, nuthing to lose, you lose the silly 'feelings' .... and a few locals tested over the winterfest, only one actually put her feelings aside and cared so as to actually care about their  stream

Ohh if only we had a David Mamet here...  truth talkers needed. But there's no hope. I do know who the only one is, though....

  

ahhahhhh but what happened five minutes later?

 You won't ever know as the chronicle ended 26 Dec 1100...

and i realise now what must be done.

However i have though of a sneaky way to keep you coming back unless you're addicted to this baby food, 

even then it's not too late to get fixed...

 nibs what a silly name

only good oldfashioned nibs are mightier than their plasticene swords..

And i have mind sharpened for the rest of life, now... (with her conformation, i must..) 

And now know what does need to be fixed... the biggest one of them all.

whilst The Source lot (the sixes) just vie for the most self pitying Pendle peddling nonsense.... to hex the six and a halves... (though they will never admit it even to themselves) 

well  - theyre unfixable as only reality nasty hard real life could fix,  hers.... 

I mean the midway point one.

soon

"hubris" soon...

 But thattoo

she would get it....

I mean for fux sake she had three mini Serges, in her front room, and two were girlies....

And her Serge had driven her a bit nutz with his big one...

SO Brigitte is forgiven her laterday

 nutcasery.... 

or nutjobism

All i know she was the best job i ever did.

But driving (one headlight still off so i can't drive at night which is a good thing with all these 6.5 rated junkie wimmin around ....not The Lemon mind you....she is pure)

At way before dawn:

Yes  even if Silas is one of only three i have read thrice... 

And ALL English menritters (her schoolfriends) one saw through as vile slime on the bottom and top of the pond several decades ago... killing all growth within

Yes Wendy P and Rachel C ....  

the only goodies and poor Bella Mackie  in her good attempt, in How to Kill... we discover that all along her bonkers heroine had been directed...by a bloke

But then if Mister Rusbhridger (mine customer in person some years i'm a allowed to judge

the silliest books in history were his drug)

 spawned, you you never had a hope

Now i know exactly my teenage blueprint.

Thing is there was second.

And that one simplest Mount Blanc, 

peak and sleighing down the otherside

Even if Ethantoo as  simply glidethrough

the drivethrough 

of so much of Yankee drivein

And all along ...well

she gave me a Primo

The Wrench or was it Other People's Trades

no not his most gracious  depiction of past events in If This IS

Simply the only other moment i went home.

The moment i met him up there

i was on forever the sunny  side of that greatest mountain

Home run. 

And of course she was stuck

exactly half way between what he Mister Big wanted from her

And his fantasy

she could never be

(even if wow having seen so many doppelgangers out on these Surry-in-the Hills  streets

Its eerie the likeness.....   even if not one know how to spell honnête et droit

and what the hat is for....)

But here's the real thing, the all of life one

As i observed and related yesteraft

To Suzi (the 'narrator' is in 'Omers dull first draft

and slagged off herein she's the 'case study')

yesteraft

It the whole of the last dull 150 years of history

i saw boxing day as if it was still eighteen seventy three

"It's about exactly you in your Surrey mamma's baby book

was it 1967?, still, today.  

Your mum a six  - exactly, out of ten

But them six and a halfs its that extra smallest step

maybe once a year up into the arse-end 

[perfect vintage late 70s maybe eighties

before the filthy plebs got Easyjetted all over place littering it with their babycham and Brut] 

'of the tally-ho off to see uncle Tarq in Tuscany 

for a few weeks maybe even three....'

thats what sorted the sixes from them six and a halfs....

you poor sixes a dreary time in Le Touquet  or if you're lucky, Normandie.... 

And i saw it is still exactly the same exact  division  no matter what your silly Nigel thinks

the sixes suckin lollipop spurs of  them six 'narrfffs.... 

maybe  they'll get invited to the once-a-year ball

or charity auction, 

and no matter what they may state in 'public' about their love for vegan foxes

when the six 'narfffs declared war, via  the odd seven or eight left 

veiled or not ...

....luv ive never had such fun i meqan i couldnt do that ten year'nago

in the square in front of all gathered alligators and vicious sharks

chattin' up and making laugh chief be-veiled sexy Missus  chief sidesadle prone Dominatrix which was exactly 

what our private whispers in her nag's ears  whispered just loud enough so mummy heard

and what a wink!

Suzi...... all that matters now for your 'cause' ...is what will your Nigel think..

cos them speeches for the cameras  were Churchillian,

 'sacrafice' 'martyrdom'  i mean sat upon 50 grand worth of pedestel

i kid not ' we are now the opressed...minority..' 

so you are a six... smashing Horrorfordshire huntspeeps  wingmirrors i wont tell a soul

the six point fives declared their position, on the side of martyrdom....

and even if i became a one point five forever age about ten

only cos Olwen a one or even minus,  was the only one with any fashion sense

of fuck-me Frenchieness 

 you know the six point fives and above have all the loot

and any sixes who turncoat they'll shoot

so its now nowt o do with me ever again i chose fifty years ago

its now only ...up to You..."

But the real choosy choice ....

As if by his Masters voice

Damn it i realised just the other day

Only one Eng-lite one i ever knew

would understand exactly every single unsaid word, that now i say

 

 

so all that matters is ...

 ...it was even better than when it created ' me' near fifty years ago....

Listening lasteraft  to the absurd London coolguy  smartarse 'psychotherapist'  on what our fancypants stories are ....bullshit.

I know i imprinted on a splendid gorgeous pure older  mumhen in fact two...  and they took the piss out of the hillman shepherd daily..  

cos they.... loved him.

and she asked me " so why was she the bravest writer..."

and i wiggled my way in behind her mask....

.... well ....

 to be taken back to what was in fact ones real 'maker' 

and the conclusion of what happened between then and now

And why the yummieest mummy on the planet in her new 500 quid tailored oilskins wasnt interested in her river being filled up with toxins...

merely hubris

thats all one has had to contend with

within of course as well

just pumped up little hubris 

and that's what it was about...

how extraordinary

But there is a...one... 'divide' that matters.

And certainly she's in the 1%...

At my place of  telling them THE story, and the two versions: one from the wonderful older one who wanders around with a javelin...ohh yes it is! i know here REAL 'belief' system....  " he didnt mean to abuse her 'twas an accident..."

 And the other from her overladyship " nope... wrong he wanted to shoot them both...."

....no charge,  even for the sound effects and 'ohh woe is me'. ...and extra modernisations - uptodatings,  about how it influenced me ..(what kind of a coincidence is that someone put it up six weeks ago! in breech of BBC copycatfighting; who owns culture? no fucker in my book, i only ever use pirated versions real ones not the childmens that litter shitfilled Pastine Eastuaries too pissed to fix their boats up so turn them into rotting hulls and a campout with silly flags atop to ....to what exactly? all i know is of course she was ship-wrecked mentally by their whole absurd cartoon mentallity, and performative voodoo

 so as not to have to clean their loos)

 and still does....even today's indecent proposal; only a quick charge up.)

Anyway the 1%, as only the old with nothing to lose and no fake politeness we came to The Source of thattoo (this has been too interestingly exilerating even for me i thought i knew it all)..: " man... man up...don't feel sorry for yourself or somehow awry.....it's a bloody war to the death! of course you  have done the right thing wasting three years of your life on a some little fake 'warrior'....all that matters is.....  [ bowdleriased for now].... of course you were right... anyway there's no right or rong, man.... are you man or mouse....... there's only whom wins... the prize!.... "

Anyway....but talk about actual Christmas even if three days late for THIS gift...four beauties have been sent this. 

ohh shit....sat outside the most romantic place in history of this sceptic one.... there are TWo in the queue.... number one the sexiest man ever in history him of Bees 'n THINGS..... the racially phobic BBC didnt even tell on him....  

a TRUE actual Serbian "warrior" .. the one greatest genius of em all, after Colette and whats that other one...later

Engliterite go around hunting and torturing fur coats for fun.... only one ever earned her right to weild a big motherfucker of a proper gun

it it would have been a crime if Serge had't at least given err a little pat on err bum.....

+2

Serge Gainsbourg sang "Je t'aime... moi non plus" with English actress and singer Jane Birkin, though he originally wrote it for his then-lover Brigitte BArdot

and i'm quite sure had it been the other way round t'wouldve been called je te déteste

in honour of their truth.... universal

( a never before in video description footnote: BECAUSE you have to EARN how to be actually interesting being nobody nowhere where nobody, errata no visitor, will say " you are so lovely living here in a [tourist] paradise..." it makes you so lonely....

***

add in

which is a non narcissistic LIVED experience fact - I was there decades ago doing a job i loved but hated as i knew it was a fantasy life - unreal, only real long lonely dull nothing, nobody ever saying 'you must be so lucky to have this life' - for their instgram of bimbile nonbrain, is real.... and every glam babe in London said " wow you must be.." and the simple truth is i only ever wanted to escape from them... but THEIR 'fantasy' indeed avaricious vampirism and inability to think of course meant one did become lured into thinking it was an ok life....sometimes... [as they can't think before speaking as among other things never read any great lit such as Silas - about them, not 'too', but especially....] ...just like the junk they leave back at home of their actual Notting Hill bedside table

And thus there are two addicts in that equation as anyone with a brain knows said so called women are as bad for you over a lifetime as their drugs... their interest "what a lovely healthy outdoors boys life..and up here in this heavenly place too" merely a version of "im so lonely and see through why i hate my life but cant leave it as i'm addicted to it but cant think of anything wise older bird to think as i cant think, im just a parrot, in fact the stuffed one mummy bought wityh the L'Oreal shares too but we lost it as we keep losing ANYthing once meant anything... that's our ..job..")

but Jane you knew it was an act.... 

if one can ever even know and English a bit

(but Suzi today has the info it all that's next is in her mother's 'baby book'  i pondered over in 2020 despite being gibbed as info is SO much mpore important always when one has grown up - i think she will not disgaree)

Brigitte...in one word 

"...non......"

could have saved a whole hour lastereve watching this truly superb REAL culture 

never mind told the world WHY we needed her culture to fail to Miss Appropriate ours as we didnt ever have any ....

And Nige makes it forever. 

Brigitte .... simply....  for once MAcron wasn't lying....

anyway where was i ohh yes can't say...

Four Beauties have been told where this is thistermorn

Two live within a km so of course will deliberately try to drown me innit...

Britalin any real writer artiste knows is only about two things..PR and property prices. Theirs..

One a 100km  away.... probably has a long list for her wished for public back stabbing... 

and the mostest... i guess i will never know.

It was bad enough having to sit aside this lovely side effect of all their compulsory status dogs... whist thisterbreakfasting on the finest simple fayre 

But in one of the wealthiest most performative " we love nature" places... i can't say and never will even i think i lied to number one saying " only you will see this video".. well copy a few others in as surely theyre not all  viscious tell tales... "nasty man in van trying to tell the truth about the whole of our paradise peninsula .." well they can't ferkin read if they do as ive no interest... 

'twas 20 years of this into the river Wye despite Justine's new lying legal case blaming it on the poor innocent factory farmed chickies.... and Fergal and his flouncin...

 this is real art that tells a real story even if its not the shit thats the prob...

 

ohh yes what's the 'divide' - well not one will ever take responsibility for that above whether pro or anti....

yes...her.... she so beautifully described ....nobody or about only 0.1% have one atom of imagination.... especially about what causes us to have been born in the beginning....

"no....don't listen to that awful German Eckhart this isnt about listening! its about DOing.... "

so, all 317 nosey Parkers yesterday... my ohh my they will still have indigestion in a decade

 If i told them, now the story!

They didn't haver a 'piece of' by even chucking a cup of skinny latte my way 

which wouldnt be included anyway as my buymeacoffee thingumy dotcom is set to strong and black and very Serbian proper stuff is the only way i take my coffee in a land of ... but theh Ive seen its all fake.

Behind every rhubarb flavoured Notting Hill cup of so called coffee with sparklies on top... its all 100% rhubarb.... in that below where the grinds are, it is exactly the same as it ever was; what is Britolin?

Ashram smiles (stuck on here with Araldite the upper class glue even if they or rather their interbred little entrepreneur Rudolph - in fact thats a tautology in that it means 'entre' just the same class who always had it and always will...to make more cash out of what was just fine several dacades ago  put his irrelevant little 'high tech'  swizzers in to rip you of wasting more glue than necessary..)

four rings compulsory (if you can't afford the antique landrover )

Anyway ehhh.... yes when the other version starts to drip drip drip and you can't even say to your girlfriend in The Priory " this'll cheer you up Cammy the  cash i spendoodled subbing that chappie who needed a coffee  well its gone 'n bugger me ended up on the besties list.... DAMNIT tho i wish i'd bought shares maybe we could afford the second year you need in here just to recover from mummie now we've done pater..."

Even if it's only her loot i want, as him there's no hope ever.... 

(and  - my private business i know when she said in our first propper talk " you don't seem arrogant " i didnt know then that even if i did know then 'relative is the most important word'...  nobody even a good writer and thinker such as err...could   possibly KNOW what 'arrogance' one has to be measured against as every single one in this whole Pestilence Peninsula is a variety thats the real variety: it knows how to hide behind its antique landrover, even disguise of a bit of 'tally ho lets go....surfin like the indigenouses..maybe one will get stabbed in the eye by a walkers ...oops no thats capitol WAlkers' unnecessary walking pole tossing in the waves  after she shouts at him NO Moth i wpont tell ALL those lies to pay for your next Rolling Stones backstage pass...'!...and we will be able to embezzle his fishermans cottage the one he hasnt sold off to pay for TArq's coke end of the lines...'.. even i didnt know what real arrogance was having lived among it two years the holiday version and  three months the perversion version the real one.... so how could she have the first idea what it is.... their secret signs dont translate even into whatisface's code book the posh one ahh yes Peter Yorke.... would just love what he saw of late)

Anyway there has to be some radio silence now especially as i proved it to myself yestyeraft i could even if by accident: no more new random chats! none.... verbotten.... not even her looking like she's fallen out of Vogue's Christmas eve version held as a 'benefit' to the sex workers of Mayfair.... and only just got bored of it, being the star centrefold.... what a hat!

nope and she smiled at me a very openly engaging one  as we passed in a very very dark privately quiet part of her walk home....nope! never

thats it

there is now only one problem it wasn't until the chat this morn i forgot there are about at least five major themes even if all exactly one....

seen in her spurs.

And the most emotive, Two Little Boys....

one, turns out to be the very worst gibber-liar peoplepleaser, in history....

and he was the just one notch down, that slippery pole, at first....

why of course he did.  " simes i will think of a way to call her and engage her ..."

not. But worse..... a man lovingly tells you that he knows his own is a 'bimbo', and he knows full well if she does inherit the million quid offshore...

she will become the next level up... a monster

as he spent enough time with them, paying-as-he-went

just to use them most openly as extras in his lifelong porn movie

And yet....he ...even he my once close enough schoolfriend, lifefriend, is so arrogant...  to be reminded of that 100% certain truth he 100% certainly agrees upon,  by another man his equal,  means...

a ghostin' too...  thats what you call 'arrogant' and he didnt even go to private school.... but spent his life with the 'guns' who did

who own all of Narnia...and most of PAstyshire

period

thing is a i won.... its merely a case of its on average 3 degrees warmer here than pasterregion....  often five

thats all thats all that matters. 4ish during the day cant think, six or above all thinking is a pleasure....

oops back to meaning of life soon, being ive had far more functional temps than in lasterregion...

And only one person hoodwinked me to leave it so only one person is why im still alive

so ..... the next line is obvious, if you LIKE life which i just amunt sure the rest do....

sure has been boring though waiting for...

 see next post, mayBE

  

 

I think i Missed the punch there

 ....  

even if there's a sequence i must remember but then as i remember almost everythin' even from that year ... i think the one her nanaboatee-a-docked.

Ninety two or three

thoughtbub "nevertheless.... theres only one i could say this to now ....she

would understand every smallest gesture nunace

caused her to have her Oxford 'breakdown'....

doubtless them not tryin' to fully interbreed into her plain lass pants"

outloud to onesself: " cmon dont you know by now..

[ the bloody sequence so 

stupid Oggle definitely a bit feyboy 'ajacent'  on drugs 

put in "photo of a handsome man foxhunting"

and you get this  proving that those so called "tech bros" are too palecheeked to want a real propper man nosing  his slimey way between their pinched ones..

i mean you either get some really lost looking one just let out of The Priory for the day to provide EM Forster type of visual accessorisation ...or some pervey old butch one  who may be whipping their bare botties later on behind the hedge fpor what theyre really into....i think it really does say all you need to know about their 'West' ... especially Surrey-on-Hill..

Anyway the sequence, i have a superb photo of a 'handsome' man on his horse white crevette silk cut in his hand... photo of a handsom man foxhuntingposture ready to hunt [ to the beveiled and she DID laugh and give me THAT pure S+M look theyre so practiced in " the only reason this was invented is for middle aged men to spend a day out with a tot in their hipflask

 and totty like you!!  with or without your 'discretion' behind the veil.... "

 photo of a hansome man... i took fifty years ago almost to the day i bet as a spotty young real photographer with an eye.... in fact errata im not that old  and bounced more km up in their overrun tourist park yesters than anyone else i saw...it must have been 45 or 6 )

....  i know exactly why he was dressed up in white crevette....exactly....

and every single one of them gathered   45 or 6 years on - i bet even the one token very well fed-on-venison or somesuch elitefood,  blackman....  knew too

 

and not one second in between then and now changed a thing

other than their female 'supporters' audience are sadly even more  angsty and unesteemed...

as the only thing they really want for xMaster is that which theyve been shown as as he....

 hips that really....sway

in an actually desirable way

that can't be inbred, 

especially when theirs  are to truly cheek clench

best poise upon the Cheltenham or Harrow naughty bench

reprise

and theyve been OUTbred as not far off a billion clicks, does indeed mean

something

but all i care about is a private little personal history

of understanding and pissing on their faux history

even if its fun to be seeing it 'made' - for real, upon which  i would bet my next ten years of most healthy life...

But you even have real history here

as i told whatserface Virginia artist 'mover' (moved me and i am persiterly cold most of the time)

shaker paintbrush at them naughty boys!... 

In their actual territory...

i knew well Antibes, JLP

and just like here the first 'moment' 

i set foot there age nineteen i guess

Immediately " acedia...nothing but their shiny sequin dress

and nothing inside....  run and HIDE

[in the hills... anywhere except smelly Grasse]

but how extraordinary

even then in nineteen sixty five

a sister!

(im am allowed to say as without one smallest scintilla of doubt

on mummy's sider my ancestor's shaggin the 'help'

my summer tanning thank you very much silver linin's 

rather than her stupid " 'intergenrational trauma too! look at me!"

"look at me i NEVER ever burn out in the Saudi Arabian midday sun, no hat so i cant be an Englishman [even then age 18]" 

every outbred smallest percent maybe by now ....five..?

Perhaps qualifies me to even use that one word he spent three years whippin my fiver percent Kunta Kinte

into chantin... 

'my n* word'.... 

how absurd....

But they wont listen even the so called 'movers'....

There is no better example

in the INNER 'temple' of the slavemasters whitey hunters one and all

they once COULD accept  the greatest art ever of all...

she's singing ABOUT them...TArquin louchely in the backrow pimms in hand

even Camilla with a propper spike in her stilletto before she  chickened out in favour of the Mortonhampstead or Totnes magic wand

The real rich.... once allowed GREAT art to put a noose around their lank smelly shitstained dicks

and yank it.... hard..... looking him eye to eyepoppin....

genius,  'bulging'.... straight into his xMaster's collection

that's what HE... needed.... to be 'complete'...

at least one valiant fighter!

but what fey failed dads

not one's told their  so called artist....daughter

s one and all....

" The Enlightenment was how we allowed you

to  at last say your truth....and take it,  to us

and win.... "

(DEFINITION! whhat a word "skewering" ....   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_A-la-Mode_(Hogarth)

he skerewered..... 

am i the only one uneducated ex comprehensive school peasant who KNOWS their job is to skewer.... and it will ALSO make them rich and very famous 250 years on... and is the only hope for their rivers and birds all owned by them rich... who NEED to be skewered.... its all that turns them on! and i dont judge which perversion is more just than another.... you work with facts not famtasy like Tolkein nutjobbery or even worse Gwerkian shamania.... as that one DID know the truth  )

"you smell of...woodsmoke"

 Now.... there's nothing worse for you than waking at the perfect day offtertime at .5.50 after nine hours no pills no nothing )(god that womans hour yesertaft just the last five minutes after a splending 20km prowlin her hills....

 a new invention " ive got a rare form of being a stupid little bint disease I'm on  today to boast about and start a new fakebook group moanin' about called 'non24' [i do believe she said]" ...   with her on earworm....

well him in truth....

Even if rap is a rather artless blingy thing  there was one bizzzarely earwormy line " history in the making part two.."

....now as i tried to tell the rediculous longhair man... and boy....and boy

atop one of their silly showoff Tors yesters... 

" ehh your famous Jenifer just down the road that way... and your boss so called famous guitarist has been if he really didnt want to be 'known' he wouldnt have told you his name.... [there we go its actually bust already you couldnt make it up...but all that matters is a fix on the last day of so called warranty....and i ignored her gibbin lastertext ... thats what you call 'taking control' of all of them Utterly out of it.... ]... well if they weren't old hasbeens they wouldnt be having such a  splendid xMAster of his own history, part two,  one hopes them.....

....after he ate all the Allegators in public  and chucked up their falsie vomit all over them one hopes.... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y08ye0xm2o me i wouldnt sue her though i would immortalise her in a great song or Noonanish book perhaps.... 

and chuck in a few real silver linings in that one hopes they had an even better xMAstering it all day 

Anyway ....

all that really matters is to have seen it - for real how truly thrilling and it continues...

i mean even the mummy of the simply perfect little lass yesteraft with her luncheon down her pullie... 

well... her broken down old mini wasn't as old as we thought at first once we got the instruction book out ....and it was the Cooper upchucked souped up  version, so....

I mean basically here in ... (god this ai is so thick you oggle "poshest town in surrey" and i am sure every single one of em ear in the-poshest-town-in-surrey-on hill  even if they are "interbred" or mummies tit had so much coke around it they were checked into the Priory before Cheltenham ladies...

knows EXACTLY which is the one bit of Surrey belongs in 'comme il faut' and which aint faut at all ....and this is where they do their 'winterings' even if only for a few days before the special drugs wear out that ..

well anyone whom can think in two dimensions knows that the word "drugs" can have many allegorical doubles entendres or may be metaphor for ...it all.... 

And it 'all' only ever meant.... blessem... they aint got her moves...

dso of course they have to go and get all uppity....class or even TRUE history in the making i saw....

  had to be here to see...

If only she knew ... so i made her laugh she said with a Monty link in fact it was  this one chosen so Ekhart Tolle fuckin thinking of the other's world rather than his mental deficiancy spaz affliction  as you have to throttle peeps into 'listening' over years before they just may, listen for real.... ..... for real

But what i had 'lived experience' of  as the bell tolled for exactly ten years on...

was better than ALL of Monty's output put together

As i told the latest splendid new walking companions yesterluncheontime...

...ohh yes i mean Surrey invaded The Marches via poshdad shaggin' around so much he left some evidence of unintended outbreeding in Kensington or even Worcester if he was desperate   ... she the first of the new wave twenty years ago (always lied she was from Worcs when it was ken but that doesnt fit in with the healing/yoga/ doubtless by now Cacashit business model....

 i saw her - the first,  arrive...

And of course i understand.....  and she is an equal valid humantoo  but on the otherhand...

wait until you read/here/see her chapter blesser but 'twill take some clever writing to even anonymise her (the girl from the song as i would taunt the Punjabber who lied about being half-Pak - he wasnt!)  as she aint worth having historically eulogised...

 anyway ALL of it as i also saw historically made... with Mrs Churchill on her twenty grander actually becoming Bulldog Brenda part 1....  and the ultimate fashion show ...

i mean i did explain to the thirty year old exactly how alike Helena Bonham-Carter she was in a COMPLIMENTARY way...

She loved so we riffed half an hour about her great movie 55 steps...

about free speech etc...

But it was when i told her Agent Z's  analysis of the 25-35 year old cohort ...

my ohh my....  they are inbred to have only one response to a bit of thinking for oneself....

Anyway all that matters nine hours and it never even occurs to me any more "i wounder  if anyone has rumbled me having heard the snoring..."

 

 And even the pretend ultra realhippy-bohemian atop one of her stupid Tors... doesnt even know what 'less is more' means... nor "pity those who are more known than others..unless theyre too fat and ugly to get falsies against them as everyone else does..."

well i know THAtT text was delivered

 As i saw her pick it out from under her fancy four ring wiperblade yesteraft

 " ...gosh you're a sight for sore eyes ...i delivered a loveletter for you on your big day.....ahh good you had better things to do that go out poseurin' innit... "

talking of which. at 0720 there was one even today  the ultimate virtue sigmnalling in the dark forcing your poor doggie ....even HERE for gods sake in middle of nowhere to go dog'ging with you which is a shortening of dogjogging no dog worth their biscuits  would even lick the funparts orf any of 'em round here... theyre so acid lemonflavourede..

....except one 

" she..i found her ...on made up virgin birtheve!....you weren't lying ... the one and only hope you old  smileything..."

"habit"

 ..... that's all it ever is.

Phone in breast pocket during the midwinteringtimes ....not that anyone used it for heartfelt positive affirmations...

A rare run of the snailshell engine everything must be in place before the heat's turned on baby to quote her problemship.

Don't bother reading incoming for two days as you know it will be only ever a pair of sharpened spurs...

And i shall break a habit of a lifetime and seek redress with that one.... as i will not be besmirched. Nor the subject of mass formation nutjobitis...

Discovering over what an Oddessay I'm about the only consistent one - who maintains the same body language noi matter what , never mind sane one..

And i knew i would be ghosted as usual so .....

So what a way to end it.....

 I saw something historical today

 but what sport she was! Do not assume as clearly my ex favourite has. And said so " you will get shot" god what a wonderful one lippy too!

Sport even if i am only ever serious, I mean the one that sorts out the men from boys.... And the true equaliser no matter who or whommm....

[running along  the so called pointy bit  with my forefinger ]"luv I'm more up for it than all of em ear put together and am most disappointed your spikeys  are... blunt..."

But as only one knows, there are two ways of 'seeing' the second not requiring you to even have  eyes  

And that 'second sight' one.... the last page of ten years on the hunt! I know it is a miracle and litetrary worthy truth far far more thrilling than mere fiction, because there is simply no way on earth i could have imagined-dreamed-predicted THAT was where one would so happily end up, and with that provably real feeling.....exactly ten years on.

....it's ten times better than Leo's best one, his Resurrection, even with the last couple of pages rightly ripped out,  and in fact someone showed me the funniest funny in her big one... ...proving i was wrong there is at least one person here in The Source with a real sense of...humour

Now ...all that matters is huddled later on we really did get to the bottom of her little old life-changing, past abyss... " you know by now surely.....it wasn't the denial by him, mister just a bit upper class who denied your beloved future.... that sent you plummeting....it was alive and kicking and now feeling sorry for itself rit large all out there thistermorn....and not one thing has really changed in our lifetimes, even your long one ....class....and thats why your body still complains BODILY ... because you were never quite one of ...them..." 

There's a VERY funny vidclip to go with this.... but there's ten more years to get to it, as now i know they will be far more fun than i could have ever imagined... as usual that peky bugger the prob!

And shetoo ....knows how to not fuck off and die despite being given the last rites  .... even if a "healer" .... 

Actual performance....art... while Marina was still in nappies...

The last thing i needed to see

 ...just when you need your camera at hand to summarise the whole decade

 ( we regaled

against in perfect harmony)

i know how to get a free one, if it came to.... dot dot dotty

stuff at Mary's cold slab

I'm now only interested in the grande finale

grab

the end of an Oddessay 

and all hearsay

the pudding  one hundred percent proof

one hundred percent merely on the hoof

next

soon

But mustknee forget....

 Indeed it's the whatserface Yankee truth

Lionel Shriver's wise even if a thicko,  ten years late

Thisterspring's: "legislated compulsory 'kindness' " 

really does end up as discombobulated hate.

 

Tio be in the place of colourful hats

central,  the eve of their Stufffest 

Stalin would'v done the world a favour

should have in fact been braver

Gone all the way and done a proper job

cancelled it. 

Formally.

In the one place they don't even need them notices

"be kind" to our poor abused and here-to-serve
staff, who love you so much they would work zero hours, for free

" ohh it doesnt seem to be working..."

"yes i told you kindly the strip is bust

the lovely silver lady the other day entered the numbers, you can trust

i've even got  the receipt in my empty purse"

Cant even kindly look you in the eyes

... her hearse

Within which theyll matchstick-prop err eyes to some kind of

smile at last,  

the ghost of a dead christmas past...

killed off by colourful Hattites

chief among em i really thought  would

have understood

why i told her that story

But even better same day

in her 'god' there is no glory

chief bitchy-lanyardist thinks she can piss on our parade

no way.... because when a fine older one, 

"centred" and at peace, made

never mind twisted THE story into something, innocent

" no i think  he Miss Cocked and t'was an accident... "

Indeed sums up the whole awful  little lonely aisle, so inversely 

lost and lonely, stuck in a state of terminal Incontinent

 

 

soup...ahhhh... stition

 Now as the exacetrmoment arrives

All i know is in twenty years Ive had them mine fave chords  - a cross between What some Stevie may wear to a Stevie, trhen...and what Rupert's girlfriend bought him to be seen at the huntin...

And i haven't even put on one millimetre around my wast

(the best bit of what a day ... walking by the colourful hattists place.... of duping her, i mean does she think i didn't go ALL the way...all.... ) 

Anyway yes so all that matters is i know one hundred percent for sure how he did it... Gabe...no not the wan version who took so long to get his hot 'n cold Bathsheba... i mean a real man would have started the fire himself just to see her runnin out in her petticoats, test her flounce and fake fieriness for bucket o wateriness 

Forever she will be known as The Lemon-aide... of the real "juice runnin' down"  a certain bit of the anatomy....

 the actual them one.

   

And then the Little Miss  Flowers for.... well the definition of a 'gentleman'  is don't even do THAT mind-fuckery, without consent....

Hmmm having accepted Mister lemon really was the one who junky like could rise above the junk  (there is NO way i am ever even listening to only ever goddess,  Dawn Upshaw and Katovican Goreckerrs and his sublime third again actually experience - lived, within exactly how the Rupert-James-Tarqs whom forever really do need to be called The Rudis.... and their expensive one-week-a-year red bobble hat's ....  have captured classical musac when it suits them to be seen all erudite and High-Court-judgeish... for the crowd....  

watching

And their mum's or inlaws...well would they appreciate " aeroplanes are very dangerous things  and deprive humanity of peace and quiet i know where it all is..... never mind surely the best ever version of a noisy ....superstition....

I think i shall ordain that is played at the funeral of a pathetic little squirt who never let go ....  even tried to false Allegate his way to  god only knows what

(they hatED me as i awake much earlier than them....and have a simply pinsharp 29 1/2 inch waist forever ...  brutalist...memory.. 

so as to one day turn all their foibles into odes and 'orribles, that i know will languish in posterity

god mine was svelte perfect yesteraft not even a puff up her underwhelming not very high hills...   )

Righty ho not one word more with one of em.... i havent already foraged and abundantly gathered and harvested a fewtoo

Until the unbowdlerised straight up, in your twofaces first edition is ready

" bless their little cotton soxmas.."

 or indeed in fact plastix

Now i've seen it all....

stealthily 

it is so London preshuss  little things its worth a whole handrit poem to celebrate the lovely warm glow.. .

all that matters is i know what shirt brest pockets are dir in wintertimes

"well you do generalise a bit.."

 "ehhh generalisation is what caused civilisation....some of it... forex in parliament a hundred odd years back someone said if we give them, you... the vote generally we don't think they will go mad with glee and vote only for The Monster Raving Looney party..."

god i got good at it....! 

not even that goldfishy gesture from the mouth oxygenating so as to ....argue... just silence, efficient shutthefuckupery silence

...

" oh she [ the fat 70 year old  really bad extremely half an hour long with extremely bad trance musac intertwined..poet, with an expensive geometric hairjob and so much bad poetry about her 'long covid', dressed like Ian Drury - a very smart snazzy waistcoat noless... nothing else can she think of to further draw attention to herself, hence] is a 'them'..."

 "No the  wonderful ONLY HOPE woman i met yesters is a them.... she is indivisible from her fabulously brought up children who met me in the eye immediately i chanced upon them like fairies in the woods and spoke with themtoo.... she immediately i mentioned a zoo back home once said 'listen with me children to him this is interesting' in fact she didn't really need to as for all their chuckin secateurs at each other and agreement with me 'only Londoners think ivy is poisonous let them eat it hahh hahhh.. theyll get bored of it soon enough... if there was a nettle here i would eat it raw to break the ice .'.. they were a total real  'them'ed unit  indivisible minds and bodies...and they could read every twitch of her face and vica a versa... as they crawled about in nature and poison ivy...unprotected

"but i value you for admitting, when nobody else will their truth, you dont even care about ...say the dying hungry for Palestine, or anything else... any more...

" so let me ask you living alone here, i often park here a few hrs as its the best winter sun trap.... [ i should have realised, generally even poets living in million plus quid as 'well appointed' as you can get pretend ordinary humble houses...  are lying bourgeoisie i mean how do you get the million plus...  plus the  very expensive lesbian gardening company ive at times befriended, the last month of them there defo a them.... blessem.... stationed there in their VERY clean outdoor dungaree uniform.. strange theyre meant to be working on her lawns and steps and all that...] have you noticed how many people walk along here after a brekky of lotus leaves, and walking round their really dark little very well appointed downshiftee here in your most paradisiacal little lotus garden...castle....so many look so so lonely never mind drawn and  wan....i mean they cant all have cancer and 3 mths left thats what it feels like here?"

" gosh yes i really do yes there are so many  its quite shocking....."

" good we agree on something real and something that matters at last.... ."

Without any doubt even if this one defective - but then encountering her in pixiehattown well of course she fits the perfect generalisation about fatal NArniac disease... as the over 70s USUALLY have learned how to be real woman at last for the first time and stop trying to be what they never believed in

And this become far more beautiful... and only a pleasure to 'riff' with or josh or banter or even rudely dig.... cos you get 'dug', and digged back even harder whiich is all you want 

But the first.... (Randomite in fact mum and lass.....wow to have purest proof there is no hope.... unless the only hope could somehow be cloned, or.... Queen.... or have power and of course as she is a REAL them she knows  well she said it " we have a responsibility" ....

now..i need my actual equal and we can mentor her.................. as it would get 'messy'  very very soon, in fact immediately, if i did it alone.... 

And that's called bein a bloody martyr.... which would be only a pleasure meeting one who generally one hundred percent could not be ...arsey... quaint old useful word for precious and decadent as most of em know underneath their planet's fucked as are the kids in a few years

Anyway their problem... 

i, duel purpose, did my bit for ten years to the day tomorrow daytime and thats enough forever...

HOWever i'm not some Londoner who would have set out on some quest to an exact preplanned  mentally ill precise ocd dull framework or rota like "take a photo of yourself every day  for a decade" thats not art its just towny neurotic showing off in the most unimaginative and unsublime way...

me i had no idea i set out one midwinter morn a decade ago ... on anything, for anything...and very often keep saying to myself theres no point no purpose no sanity no manners no propriety  ever in this silly land,  in perpetual sex war even fatty MCgilchrist just figured that one and tryin' to monetise when it was obvious 20 years ago....thats the only 'art' in any of it....  The Wasteland

(with THEM...sat on their own little island in the ivermectin polluted river that flows...called 'Loads of Flies,  on Our Island thank you very much .... the rest of you Lord above all turned into cannibals and ate them all'  )

except i have .... given up.... so.... theyll have to beg.

Anyway talk about genius.... not even going over the threshold.... talk about a unique texted xmas gift.... to her fathers 'house'... i didnt think i would but such a best ever walk and weather....

thats all you need 15km a day ....and a reason to take that tougher route...

Anyway yes well who knows all other language-cultures are so complex and take a lifetime....Deda Mraz.... a kind of neutral "grandfather frost" midwinter greeting when i looked it up on my communication phone and now by laptop its not even there for happy thing.....via honk kong this last time most apt ... they silence people there too, bigtime... merely from fear - only of themselves,  as always, but.... its been fun

right now the fullest true true version starts....

free substack audio

The REAL 'art' in actually 'RELATING' (proof over the next decade and not even a penny will ever be paid...thats the point - nobody should monetise, passing on what works...)

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/the-real-art-in-actually-relating?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

FREE VOODOO and moronic old lumps of rock to go shamaniac rubbin yer crotch up against em as youre too wimp to use crotches what theyre invented for,...

indeed for silly women who long ago decided they were too non-female and over the hill,  to have relationships with anything other than  dumb stupid masonry 

thats very one finger upp'er....

and thats stupid.....but very very clever

now this is what you get on xmas day if you are a truly old desirable absolute richbitch  desirable fourringed REAL battleaxe " im afarid you may be right ...[no hope]"

audio to accompany by 2000

 ....and then 

what next or maybe something's already happened i havent yet..

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