Ralph Schism
The psychology of simplest living, via my stories of many years truly simplest living. Real ones - not earnest or pious. Ten years a landloper. Time to tell those tales, too. Ralphschism.com My permanent one home online started 22 feb 2023. Start at the beginning (first 'post' - click 'older posts' bottom right hand corner ). Themes are developed and then woven together - a series of regular essays. Some in handwriting; some audio/vid. ONLY peaceful nice content here. 07958 5263eight1
Tuesday, 17 December 2024
The honest one.....
Monday, 16 December 2024
"simple" she [innix] said
yestermorn merely cleaning the desktop - a few last lingering images cluttering the simplest space, in fact
Did she mean her sincere sunlight filled eyes wide open?
Saturday, 14 December 2024
Indeed.... Canada the clucking chicken of the world
Never mind only perraps (that like... in Quebecqoise for "perhaps" the Chretiens even stole Virginie... the one great white hope.. rhymed her perraps with her bible her Harraps..[French-english dic] .til they got their talons in herr... herrr...)
twice in life to look into the eyes and see all her soul.... one real dancer's and a quatrospouter...
shame she has gto share a passport with one disgusting little coward who cannot even blame himself for being so thick despite professorships to be come a benzo-junky rather blaming some fancy label 'illness'....
and setting example to younger generations " even the spotty yoof of Ruffin Clywyd knew take more than two of your mums valium on consecutive days...you askin for it..." 1980
but no he sticks his nose unable to discern the smell of his Canadian dribbly bearshit from the smell of a horrid little man who used his anti-Enlightenment agenda for his own agenda rather than believing in ...
anything, new.... that worked even if democracy means keep workin' onnit.....together... permanently
heroically
seems to be a bit of a Canadian thing... should'v saved her from her country-menchilds...
with that look i shall never forget... she needed SOMEthing...real..
So what does this one want...same look... of course they're all nowadays too Mammon-busy trying to hard to ever stop and think...
Anyway.... more than anything else they got their atomised little 'sovereign' state...of mind..less ness...
https://www.ralphschism.com/p/celeb-stories-cloaked.html
And one thing is for sure...no canadian ever goin' to come up with any great art once the awful Britolish bet it was his fault... told the dancer to try harder and go further to...nowhere.. a whole country of Justins....
too cowardly to host the nukes next door...
too cowardly to ever say anything real any more...all the way... just Cluck headless chickens in fancy suits...
adopting the anti-hero as Mister Teapot has something to say....
when 400 million plus said something real.... we'll find a way to be heroically peaceful despite the Teapot and his clever words
reprised reprised reprised... bet he even thinks he is one of these...
Héros
minds
(Gabor pimping only "pity you with your poor trauma".."lets just blame that for everything"ohh yes we have even trendier "intergenerational trauma" you can get lots of FAkebook clicks with that one very glamorous that as label.. so they never have to use their minds to be more, or the actual 'change' + DO something real... oohh no that's ACTUALLY 'traumatic'...and then guess what from traumatic baptisms of fire jabbed up your bum....you grow up..smile if at first from the pain - a bit wincey...... eventually back straightens up for real and.... you may stop thinking only of your own trauma...as you
.... forgot it..too busy DOing something that may cause "dm me for change" ....)
After all even America the second thickest folk on the planet did: maybe we won't have an insurrection if we let Mr Crucifixion [over a babe-rude line no one should cross] have a second go...
Only the stupidest people on the planet.... don't
think twice.... about the stupidest moment in history
maybe needing a second look.... who ever said voting more rather than less, is bad?... Mrs Assad perhaps to name one
i heard someone oh yes him the deathcultist Murray whom doesn't believe 'jihadists' can pipe down and change, so kill em all........ recently say we have no new voltaires... and should
well i know someone who is in that queue... one day...
and one dancer once was actually front of it to La La "Human" as good as Voltaire-next
Until i bet the Londonate menchilds piped her down., too...
Bless im... ( A REAL dancer. the only one* ever all the rest sour little princessy fakes.)
stick it in anything....
that's London for you...
+++++++
rit at the park of "we-men" .... Mister ultra We.... 's gaff...
(like Peter Florence they say things like " we [ utter tossers who think we own the universe or even Eden.]..dont do it YOUR way...we do it our wee way.."
i aint even stgarted yet cos some impossible majic happened...
if i had just ONE protector the fun i could have showing the world how a "we-man" makes up pseudeia stories.... to 'protect' the "birds" he pimps... who only ev er had kindest words...
into my protectgive microphone in a public square and...
its more beautiful a work of art than the most beautific ever...
And in the month even him of the sealed in eco house told me he fell to the madness of " well i changed my mind and believe the rubbish online about the united states of Europe will eat democracy and all it's vaccines and all the utter garbage theyve all been pimped to parrot...
god.... never mind it sounding so much more ultra human in Frogerman...
she was...... the ....simple.."bird" of paradised
until shetoo tried to ..hard...
to be more than perfection
* fuck why didn't i to quote Shlink...kidnap her that night midseaas a real man does... (short stories) after all
i ...only i had control
( a page to uncloak soon)
after all her sugar daddy was as dodgy as they come
even if a good writer who let go AALL the way...
Unreliable "birds" always exert a 'price'
Even if i know one who isn't afraid ... and damn it i go and get distracted in the pure enjoyment of her .... thats what four kids out
the spout
does to you, usually.... makes you able to differentiate between real danger and a magnificent flirt
...and listen
to REAL compliment
no not this'un.... the dawn one
(words you will never hear from a fake Green.".. hey ALL muck in together...get dirty muckin in fighting the polluters not on some hairdye march of inner city "Rebells" ... but where the environment is..in it....two perchimney also saves emissions.. share cars even if the sharer smells or does the wrong yoga..." all they do is pimp fear and oh our insurance doesnt cover being "human" which is always messy so herd them around with flourescent jackets into our nice little pens where they only dare look at me...
Ellie
and co... who always forget it takes two
to tango
and keep the car use down too...nope that would blow the risk assessment fuse..make them BE responsible... rather than just preach fear, of the other, they blame......all they ever do )
As usual.... even if she put me in a good - hence i-never-am-distracted, mood and get distracted
.. takes a real smile to muck around with that CONSTANT NOWness always..
... at least she may value the worth of a parable ... everything i ever splurge, is
TWO MORE LATER....
in this series
"birds" are mere robot animals - one is allowed to say if a hell of a lot of one's adult life given over to living WITH them.... houses full of ferrits and rescued hedgehogs
(when sad little Eckheart polluted in"human" ones just email " Groundhog"...as that is all they know.... their silly internet they crucified themself on )
never mind dozens of bunnies and even peace doves...
ducks
a horse...
one learns animals are not able to do much of any use to keeping one at being useful... just virtue signalling
i heart my overcontrolled neurotic dog...
everywhere here...
..it takes a "human" to even change their mind...
and do something useful
mere birdy "birds" dont have that programming
silly "human"s forgot ...was what makes us not a fluffy rather dumb, robotic, animal "bird"...
1 more in a bit video not ready until 1200
pity... the poor Russians weirdly bullied by littletech...
and their fearwords, too.... which no one seemed to notice
do "change.." people...
.... right...only fun stories and parables soon....
i should crucify it (as they ACTUALLY want - only self pitying never allying )
"chick"bait is evil
if only...
you silly one dimensional viewereaders could know...
Just how utterly " riveting" she is.... and how life is never over until the bitter end ....and she may be it
Even if she is TOLD "block me" and she won't obey a man funny that her whole life about obeying dodgy men...
And the one one actually invites to co-farm in REAL rewilded land as real 'community'...blocks you straight away (there was a part 2.. hahh hahhh... bless em.. every single one here the ex city girls so totally toxic - poisoned by... only themselves...)
" well..i didnt even open your ping lasternight i never look at a phone after teatime.. even if she had changed her mind if she is actually 'human' she would pick up her phone and call..... here is the only gospel i recognise.... that line about sing amazing grace all the way to the swiss bank my number one commandment...well ...after what i can do in my minds' eye ... and have already as you jolly well know... i think your 7th may have you crucified for thattoo... you naughty only one amazing woman who knows what your sex..is ...for. ... never mind being unaduklterateable....
"never mind those ...eyes of all the Beelzebubs tangoin' with all the Mary Magdelenes there ever were..... strictly the real thing....you the only pone who BELIEVES in her 'feminin'ity...and knows exactly what it is ...for.... the rest just faking it for workshopping oppourtunities"
Friday, 13 December 2024
Environmentaling (parasiting)
This post to be improved later if i EVER find a reliable ally who might just have a plug to use her awful sick local madpeople make the libraries almost unusable impossible to concentrate)
especially the what to say at environmental meetings thing...
NO ONE CAN EVER EVEN THINK OF ANY MORE
i have a recording of someone saying it nicely " may we consider always suggesting car share as item 1 on any agenda" at a narcissistic hairdye obsessed extinction rebellion gathering 2019... they just hissed at the notion of letting someone else in their car who may not have the same hairdye habit as them
there is no hope
ohh yes... Horrorfordshire... Pastylandshire all over you see this its always the same " my dad's a great bohemian great potsmokin eco lovin guy bought us a place in the woods...it's so cool livin' in nature..."
But he forgot to show them how to keep a bicycle protected from the elements or...fixed.... he's so busy being such a great guy....
two "birds" with one stone time...
But to get here - to a socket...by the time one negotiates the lost and lonely and fizzy... my dawntime words have fizzled too no power...
No not a poor little bird and anyway parasite a nasty word for symbiosis which almost all animals always are engaged in and i am sure "birds" been befriending "human" for aeons...
Millions of years....
these however (I FORGOT ONE BLOKE. TOO!! )
are not symbiotic as they never give ANYTHING in return...all just take in their loneliness
(the one that did matter Cl*** ... " Clare your kids go to the school a few km away from the site of slaughter.... if i even smacked their lovely mum's bum in friendly jocularity....and they heard of me being arrested for sex crimes they would rightly say at dinnertime ' nasty man in the clink for sexcrimes against my poor mam...shame on him' but surely the genuine crime up in the hills if they knew the shameful burying young badgers alive crimes they would also feel shame and require the same application of the law...."
" ohh i can't say anything and no if they were arrested for carrying a lethal JCB in their pocket with intent to bury young wild animals alive.... and anyone down the school heard i helped you.....it would be bad for my kids there... the kid on the next desk maybe his dad one of the contractors arrested would be bullied..."
" ohhh...... [ i thought you had a brain ..and had read one propper book as you suggested - man y of them are about simple 'morality'... often double standards.... say, Silas.......only reason we had friendly chatted with your kids quite as often..] ..... " no point saying anything in this land of The Blind, Teletubbies on drugs....to allay their self pity
OOPS ONE MISSING COME BACK
this for a few years from a decade ago was truly dangerous (the webpage the nice version)
https://titleyscheme.blogspot.com/
1000+ hors unpaid work not even a bowl of stew...quite alone...and WORKED
2015 a local planning gatheration of 50 nimbies ... "no cheap housing in the scheme ...we don't want... but want cheap housing even less! as it will bring blacks and single mothers" [sic] .. two years later a local neighbourhood plan referendum actually voted FOR my proposals.... less executive housing for coke dealers from afar or their instagram black range rover brigade so called ex wives running away with a dollop.... some pleb housing; and LESS overall than the developer demands as it would impinge on the nearby important nature reserve (no one else even noticed!.. )
not one person EVER worked on the politicians.. money men.... all behind the scenes at great danger
and ALL the local birds just hissed... especially the REALLY BAD MUSICIAN'S one who actually lived opposite and had the most to lose... and did nothing but HISS....
no solidarity ever...ever
i have the chronicle. fully saved and ...it is a parable ort even few chapters of a bible.... if you actually care (about one) go all the way... that is your duty...even if she's been stoned into silence
And need a home for it when i expire from...boredom they all just parasitise... so often - over a decade, i have nothing to eat
Righty ho.....
Above... Bridge Across Forever. The great book: Leslie and Richard as they were a solid couple stood up against a local baddie developer wanting to destroy a nature rich place by their new good life house in the hills
Had they been single they would not have dared...
Fourty years ago ...actually 43
at Green meetings
" you ugly lot... good to see as many men as women gatherated... RULE NUMBER ONE all meetings we ask prod blackmail... please car share...lift share... but that is two birds one stone... your lonely neighbour who wouldnt perhaps drive to a meeting himself..never mind he cannot get through the evening without a spliff or beer.. go and tell him to come along he may have some fun and can be driven..
The neighbour 2 km away you utterly despise the sight of her awful bad musician should-be-banned-Oyster of a husband... and she hisses... put aside YOUR ego and go and knock on their door ' do you care about chicken sheds invading' or whatever else.... if you are an environmentaIST you keep an address book and every single eco gathering you go through EVERY name no matter if they do a different kind of 'ultraest mindful non duality meditation' like Sam HArris shows off with.... you message email ... but always both as only children just email they may go to spam so you email AND message them [ did you get my email just checking due spam filters] ....
YOU GO THROUGH ALL CONTACTS IN THE REGION who have ever expressed a BIT of eco concern...and no matter what your PERSONAL feelings you ask them if they need a lift .... or are lonely and maybe theres some bird also lonely at the eco gathering you tell him about her or vice is verso.... ANY WAY you can get bums on seats....
is your first duty no matter what ...
always...
no matter what you feel...no matter if s/he threatened to... whatever they threaten
there will always be more petrol heads to nature likers...
so every single one of the latter can be bribed lied to coerrced even slightly blackmailed...to take part you cannot do hiding behind FAkebook you have to do in person....
every single one..
is noticed
especially down the pub - say Bredwardine way....
" ehh up ... that chicken shed we are plannin' ...ehh .... i got the cheap concrete lined up... that'll start leakin' in five years well be long gone by then.. hahh hahh someone else's problem.... ehh but some little bird told me there were 100 at the anti-chick meeting down' road...sounded like a right luv-in ehhhhh..... look we've got a full order book for years...maybe we should go and put up that one over Presteigne way first...none of them 'Greens' there ever even say boo to a goose theyre so fake.... whatdyer think.... leave this site tell em we've bird flu...and go do the other first.... less hassle.."
Ohh i havent even started... they REPLIED
https://www.ralphschism.com/2024/11/you-see-its-like-this.html
but...i need alllies to work on what next
problem is 95% i meet are mental cases (by all rational objective measure)
https://www.ralphschism.com/2024/10/this-is-england-wonky.html
ALL projects for a decade ONLY about reasonable shared use of some land with it in mind to find those who may MEAN what they say and also be careful to enhance nature
Wednesday, 11 December 2024
"purpose"
sub
stack of waffle audio
about whats sub ...inside you and you won't ever know
unless
PURPOSE. The movie... two years later. The end of the road. (Tate, too) And why 'therapy'? Except you never know 'til the shit happens.
(if your 'therapist' hasn't helped you have better ones of thems
sue him or more likely her.... surely one of few real reasons to spend all that loot is... as described)
You... yes you ..as she - wonderful she calls them " sound bowl PZ" ...meaning all those truly corrupt fakes who wander around on (stolen southern) cash...errata flounce.... flouncin' Penzance or the like.... making out that by their snake oil smiles and sounbowls (many photos to stick in) are saving the universe cos they manifestly say so... most will say they're "environmental" too without factoring in to the only equation there is: is that hunk of stupid metal being used for an actually 'essential' purpose...each having a footprint cost...and prove the ferkin benefit, please... or can we melt them down for something actually useful and use muvva natures resources for only actual essential ...oils their fancy cabinet full of more expansive olive oils... without which they are naked and cannot be vaguely 'human'... etc"
(and i value her even more her saying her sister is one)
Her purpose ... 'take him down' ...
But the way of doin' so is to simply do a Jesus: constructively critique...
And if one actually listens yet again one realises the disaster of the younger person with nothing to say saying anything...
Line 4 or 5 "The worst place was the best place" but HOW WHY ? that is the key to learning: story and rhetoric about what is the " worst best" a one dimensional pornographer of course cannot manage...
Anyway yes what was i going to say...oh yes you are some dreadful fake
flouncin' the prom
bringin' joy and the latest iteration of some bongo bongo to the smileys along your rusty old strip
your men cannot even manage to ALWAYS no matter what always tend to every waste bit of wood..
especially if they're the regional version of prostitution:
builders
to retired peeps of the military industrial complex
(they'll lie and speak of working only in the accounts office of Marconi or the like as if they don't see the fat wodges of 'how's yer father' goin into Britolish Missus Assad's Chelsea building society... so they can buy sweet little Hafez Bashar al-Assad a barbie or robocop playhouse one day when the palaver has died down... whichever gender his name may be )
**
OH yes i hear... loud dad in library thinks that his very loud emotional intelligence work on his young lad talking him through his current emotional probs 10m from me ...how he should respect his bullies or other protagonists in school why he cannot go in....overrides the need for human beings to respect each other by shutting the fuck up in a public library...one where there are loads of shut the fuck up signs even....
. she.. "you're a cheeky one" did lasternacht tell me to write about it "anonymously"...
I cannot even look at him " shut up" because... all these childmen have had fake teaching: because we taught you the big word empathy, it means you will never have to worry about snAPPING IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO BE QUIET...AS THEY DO
snap that is ...accidental cap (they usually have a baseball cap. too... empathy doesn't exist until you've really been in the very very long deep shit for a long time....)
Anyway right as he is sort of quoted in despatches... the only ones that matter
I knew that years ago.... clearly most 'woke' justicates.... don't actually feel disadvantaged ... we did punk to revolutionate... and then it was stupid jeans with long pockets that make you look like you have no arse.... then self harm etc... and 'gender' - i will bet my last pound that most eventually will wish to breed by traditional means just as Tom Robinson dis fairly soon after creating the ultimate gay 'hymn'...
nope not his actual great hymn to...him or her no one cared...ever
twas just ...blessem.. their way of yes getting power....
absolutely innate and ever necessary the yoof givin the elders one up the bum
for example to grab their loot
and get cheaper rents so they don't live endless rabbit-in-headlights existential
angsty stress....
problem is they forgot what power was 'for'....
the day that radio 4chan revels in the fact that rents have gone up 30% .... following the year that even Bojo said " we just need to be nice to each other now..." never mind farmer Helen or all the rest.... they forgot so so quickly "maybe now we can slow down and think about what matters"
... ehhh...... and all we got was body neurosis and all that
"you cannot say that"
poor lot not surprising half dying of depression
at last previous power grabs were a tad actually
real and simple clear cut enemy
the one eating kids alive in Gaza today.
* = the most important thing of all....all those "birds" who put up the signage... Penzance Foulmouth... (Hay Totty and Stroud) ...come and be radiantly bathed in the light of my ace the reputic nextness of manifestly everything for...(they never say the price) and they have lovely pictures of sunsets and waves... "join me in the journey into your manifestly next more fixed state" the other trend if not explicitly "shaman" ... the really funny thing is these ultra (listen to audio above).. Helen's, except she was too fractious, as trying too hard can make you barren.... if she was flexible enough to have had them.... their kids too, as well, are all utterly hooked too on the loudmouth pornographer and that's a fact as i do listen.... (to them - their youngers...).
** it so so still makes me laugh blessim
A longtime supporter and former volunteer of London's Gay Switchboard help-line, it was at a 1982 benefit party for the organisation that Robinson met Sue Brearley,[18] the woman with whom he would eventually live and have two children, and later marry.[2]
In the mid-1990s, when Robinson became a father, the tabloids ran stories about what they deemed as a sexual orientation change, running headlines such as "Britain's Number One Gay in Love with Girl Biker!" (The Sunday People).[2] Robinson continued to identify as a gay man, telling an interviewer for The Guardian: "I have much more sympathy with bisexuals now, but I am absolutely not one."[2] He added, "Our enemies do not draw the distinction between gay and bisexual."[2]
ask his two kids if they acknowledge the word 'bisexual'...
or even 'gender'
or think it has any actual relevance to actual real....life
Theirs
Monday, 9 December 2024
ooohh we are keen today
... last page as often the case edited added to after posting dont miss the videos!
"I accept death, too"
(subtitle shaman have no same)
another people pleasing lie... to look good.
substack audio yesteraft
"I accept death" what does it mean ?(the trendy shallow ones parrot). I think it can only be real if you BE in commitment and lose that first.
god this is going to hurt.... just looking at his ... ('ugly' would be against the rules as its immutable ... but one word from him makes you even uglier so i certainly won't listen) mug "live like an animal" sounds so utterly: now i am god... designed to hook the childless and incapable or REAL commitment... no matter what.... always.... even when it is destroyed.... still being committed... the Gwerk fairies dont know about that as it's not about...them....
All they ever care about.
when all real love is is commitment - there is only one form and one should pity even if that's a horrid insulting thing.... those whom never could...
not too late...it never is. But then they believe their own disastrous 'relationship counselling'... the problem
kety to life ...oops not being afraid of death....BE 100% in 'commitment
- and if you lose that innocently - he dies first..or she runs over the nipper one is committed to as so often they express emotion with the right foot i have found in life.....at least you are inoculated against worrying about your own
much prettier than him or his dead words
Sunday, 8 December 2024
grace part 2
....but not really
Even if ...without wishing to come over as pious and earnest as quite simply they do not work...
(Even The Pasties are preachin' an extreme version of humanity
with his "solitary confinement" pity me!)
Only quietude and simply staying unmoved by any attack ..IF one is lucky enough to know what an 'absolute' is. (grace under pressure is: i am not sure anyone understands this since the fake spirituals of Buddha polluted the river with nothing as they say nothing....about how to live here as 'living'
also means growing up so you may join the council or some other club and tell them "you are just being clubby....you don't ever DO anything, new..")
an absolute being good psychological journeys through life for kids...all, any, creed or colour or whatever... that is an absolute aren't i lucky to have at least tried to 'take part' in improving..
There aren't many absolutes. And all we will have for decades more is an absurdist 'argument': Elon will invent spaceships to zoom all the pollutants and hot air out into space and dump it safely.... no he won't so we better build windmills."
Both erroneous well in fact #1 may indeed turn out to be a better bet; but a far better bet is use less, take your kids out of Nazi school because the teachers don't even tell the kids to look after (her page 2) ..garden... and TURN OFF light switches or computers when finished with.... (as my interview midsummerish with vanwoman who worked for years in schools confirmed - though she EVEN more the problem as all she did was turn it into virtue signalling emotion for those collected around her)
So we wouldn't need windmills is they did (windmills require a MASSIVE resource and energy component in building their components and then the new wiring required )
But above all NO ONE .. especially not Greens, can manage simplest decent quiet rhetoric " perhaps as was many years known the precautionary principle may be useful"
As it may be discovered that even MORE damage is done to the animal biome - all of them... by tit milk filled with reused prozac from the waters or the one animal that pees in its own watercourse as a matter of course...
'global warming' and associated industries pollute and thus just winding ALL back so as to firstly prevent pollution - co2 arguably just another form... was always the only message they forgot ...
blahh blahh....
But i don't know if ANYone ever tells a real 'truth', so that comes first ... 'practicing what you preach [or people please, parrot]'
I litterally don't know....
two years ago
someone said " i like the sunshine too"
the only one i did believe.
But then seeing, was believing
middsummer last pretty white as a (born again virgin's) sheet...
All i know that grace is yes (maybe i can better define one day if i ever have decent nutrition i doubt)
.. as i said " i changed lore... in America head office of all your discochurches... they say 'sunshine the best disinfectant'.. [ ok i slightly paraphrase so she knows who i refer to] but i realised after a few years the sunshine i brought in to the system in fact had an opposite effect to that desired: made the baddies' skins thicker.. they were almost MORE cruel and unjust to poor fairly innocent parents.." I did more harm than good....
Based even on an 'absolute' - they are rare... the eco one ok Elon's drones may have swarms of every-molecule-of-pollutant we can munch supoer nano drones inside and problem over.... so looking after Her planet may be not a 100% absolute....
fuck badly with a kids head no drone fixes it ...absolute...
But anyway... I have no idea... does ANYone ever mean what they say especially as getting a bit of winter sunshine is even more important as its rarer...
I have no idea.... grace is ...well, 'pitying' someone is not very gracey.... merely playfully prodding them to be what they say they are...but in Britolin that often can get you arrested saying anything grown up.... and there's not much point in that....
So i reckon leave it at the End Times are already here when no one at all ever means what they says even the I love sunshine babes...
But a rewrite would be desirable as it's time for real sticks, not flimsy horesman and theirs: the end times actually keep goin' on forever and ever...unless YOU yes youtoo... be other....
and set an example by winter suntrap bathing for my youtube channel...
there is almost always somewhere ... but they're ALLways "busy" .... and not one got an actual sense of humour....
grace is just giving up....absolutely
done ones best
'grace' ...wot iz it?
Well, i doth thinkest more than owt..
tiz 2019 clip clop
Aside the one who seemed to have 'it'.
But you don't really know - only time and the passing of it whether it is trendy 'quantum' witches cauldron of everything ever extant bubbling away in one entangled cauldron still there or one in the future... mixing ingredients so as to have the now version
Deliberately absurdist as no one can describe what it is here and now...
(well it certainly is a no-refined-sugar diet, or very little, as it is quite good to be reminded with the odd pack of supercheap biccies when hungry how it does undoubtedly cause melodrama and hysteria to bubble up ... no point saying that to those whom shop in Liddle as even i was tricked into their 'granola' con when in fact its 15% sugar... )
Grace previously discovered... but 2019 a return match:
the only period for quite some years i almost feel midsummerish 'depressed'
'emotionally'? or psychospiritually maybe abetter word, worn out ...
feet dragging in the gaseous swamp of black mould
two years of hot poisonous air from so called " we love Europe" peeps who did NOTHING ever ...
ever...
just like the many 'Greens'.. who do nothing real ever to protect the environment
what do you know ... they are the same people.
Two years .. 2 1/2 actually, wandering among them attempting to have sane conversations:
("what may we do if there were some parliamentary review of this standard political matter?" ...FF spring 2019: " ohh what do you know JC the second helping of Christ was a graceless wimp ....with daddy issues... has put down a motion basically delay and obfuscate and think more.... ohh you didn't hear how he NEARLY got it through lost by only 8 voters.. The official Opposition Amendment (a) in the name of Jeremy Corbyn aimed to set a deadline for another 'meaningful vote'. It was defeated 322 to 306. )
which is quite extraordinary in that the evil nazis of the BBC (i have a recording) said that morning on the live coverage " ehh we have heard the first two motions being debated and voted on, but we wont bother with continued coverage into the third today as it has been tabled by.... him.... JC the second helpin' .... and clearly won't be voted through.[sic or words exactly as lying vomitous] ... " as if the MPS don't listen too to the wireless - mainly 4chan...whilst deciding if its time for a bit more porn in the quiet of the House many colleagues down below involved in the rumpus... away from not only them but all those pesky wives and children who may nose in ... or a meander down to the chamber and do their job... AND ... whether or not their baying on the Commons floor may get transmitted live so they can say to wifey later in the day " well i was there actually baying .. you could actually hear me at one point on 4chan..."
so... August 2019.. weary... why did i bother... ? nearly 3 years ... several bicycle tyres actually worn out in my several thousand km over a few years up hill down dale looking for a few who may just make a sign together in 'solidarity' if some second meaningful vote were called after a meaningful vote... all games but unless those who say they are playing, play... the other side gets a 'walkover' i believe..
in no one even the most avid pro EU few i found over the years cannot KEEP TO THE points .. theyre endlessly off on tangents to make themselves look good...
most copied off morons on the internet - or other way around, the internet is just moron...
no one even noticed: JC nearly got a delay... and a bit of a review.... even my-friend, ultra proEU, Oxbridge educated supposedly students of David Starkey's wank called 'history' of constitutional stuff...
Anyway.... so.... gathering new atchin tans* with recently (late 2018) provisionally embezzled (the future would ensure) 2 grand van money allowing time in lovely laybys away from the beaten track... alongside very little used byways
Maudlin; drained... almost twinges of 'depression' ...
for the first time in decades.
Anyway.... clip clop.... as she comes by.... my window down...and from above i didn't even see her lips move as i couldnt see her face... " hello"
Had seen her ("frig she's the harmony hairspray woman with the Nimble girl smile..") but impossible to byway-chatup due narrow byways and anyway a man cannot stop to talk with a woman not even greeted previously...whist invan....there are rural honour rules...
fast forward a wonderful three months of photos exchanged by wotsup - first time i had used it.... of our respective personal most enjoyed (the smell) manure heaps - the one i got paid to move by Lady [famous] Muck bigger than hers.... and other real rural people banter... " fuckers who insure [with DSM always behind the curtain of iron filings] the yard are objecting at your member...ship being non existant ..let me see if i can lie to them and put you down as ... "
That day at last arosed.... if only she knew just how utterly selfpity traumatised i was at the mere thought of mounting any nag ..it being ten years of being in the wilderness avoiding them as they hurt.... the last time with... [ censored it's my story she an innocent bystander me on standby 10 years so be it thats called [further censored] ..] never mind having to actually google " how to ride a horse" that was not a joke...
And i think above all grace, apart from " hahh hahhh you thought you would get one over on me not one of you... putting me ion him.. biggest maddest muvvafucker in your yard.... well thank you my trauma now fully conquered and i even get to show off to you how fearless i am and zenned no fear just rising to the occasion....so as we were saying....you such a lovely person... and real get back into the saddle just do it.... parenting skills, but no personal breeding ...why not.... ?"
" well i would like to or would have liked to....but i won't be.... because...i am selfish.....and wouldn't be able to take a year off ... i pretty much ride all the year round if not looking after the hunt.. summer eventing...you know i am not fanatical but it is me..its how i define myself ... my calling.... and i am too selfish to stop for a year and.... "
I really do think is the one most beautiful moment of grace i have ever heard
grace merely being honest about who we are...
a quiet private self critique... shared in honest quiet conversation clip clopping along...no need to be so frank but so nice when we do find it
just the real version of who we are
or....
..... were... until.....
(her Pasty Artur... well .... exactly....you want sermons about HOPE .... the watsups i got two years later from the one most beautiful HONEST soul of them all.... " fuck me Laura ...your message and pics..... i near fell off my mount.... ehhh... i never seen a pic so beautiful....... and don't you miss... your previous absolutely 100% needed occupation you selfishly couldnt dream of never being able to always do?.... until 2020 the year of our lord gave your nipper a life s/he could never have dreamed of.... i mean.... i hope you tell it when its old enough the story of.... it only existing due all their hysteria hypochondria and authoritarian rather dumb anti science of get out ion the sunshine, tyranny... . "
I think this is brace...at several levels in fact - it is the most beautiful living being not what we know we need, 'parable'..... i have ever existed within... (well maybe first equal of about 5...one day)
I must rewrite better one day....
* 'stopping places' - the ACTUAL 'activist' she goes ALL the way...all the way means meandering 3 years much of the time so not enough wages earned to eat....and rent and other things paid for in full knowledge unable to pay back, by maxing out every last sovereign of credit on half a dozen cards... fighting their absurd 'sovereignty' bullshit ... patriotism last refuge of a scoundrel to quote The Bard... and anyway 'ACTIVIST' means (its easy to send me whatsaps at 8am today to give me a hard on - the exact desired effect.... i never read anything anyone messages any more, as no one DID anything.... )
so yes if one believes in ones 'cause' almost nothing else matters... all the way by 2017 is obvious - no matter what it takes... meaning every second available try and harvest potential ally or even a few changed mind future voters... doesnt matter if you cannot pay your bills or rent once it is over ... it being over soon... (august 2019) find some lovely new stopping places when on the run from debt collectors and baliffs due in about March 2020.... no problem... as long as there are atchin tans...
Because brighter eyes than even hers.... (the very best of all ..of late....she is fierce...she cares! but doesnt know grace and also having a 'cause' and meaning it, not just getting me hot under the collar does mean ALL the way... there are always ways to compromise on little matters like family ... all the way means there is only education of the next generation and one can do that indeed by getting onesself starving and roofless not as false martyrdom theyre all addicted to, but because thats what you have to do ... and PLANNING is all that matters if one has time ( thoughts, a constant..."i will have time from january 2020 to pack up and ...well... it will be near impossible to slow down and stop as i would love ...for a year if possible! ... just rebuild self and have some FUN.....spend next spring and summer just lazing in the sunshine up in the hills ... . and that NAzi landlordess she will hunt me down for every last few pence i will owe her outstanding so i shall never have peace... ohh well.... i accept the end of all peace tranquillity comfort for ever....")
but then grace is also so enjoying the chats as i am no-hands cyclin' the silent byways in the most glorious spring ever 2020 " ohhh hi...Lowell/ Capital One [etc]... haven't heard from you for a few days...god really nice to get a call... you are my only friend left in the whole world you break up the isolated loneliness i look folrward to your calls.... yes i still have the severe mental illness and corvid bankruptcy everyone else has in the whole land didn't the last lovely lady put it in the notes....so what's your name.... how are you managing ohh my its all so so so terrible isn't it....ohh what a cataclysmic apocalypse. ehh....... listen i live in this glorious parkland many km from any plague cities.. empty lanes..... all this sunshine my my it must be hot in your suburban little homeoffice....... why don't you come and join me and we can go bicycling in the lanes together .. you can call it 'work' tryin' to get your moneylender dues out of me........ my mental illnesses arent too bad i hear on 4chan everyone else is near terminal.... " and..... knowing exactly how to get them to stop bugging you... merely over their silly Mammon...