so i do blame him....

 But firstly you have to have some simplest unadulterated  history of exactly their ... 

parody

of just the simplest forever what to be

Anyway to work

the creatrix of " i am a hero in a cold van/ tiny home/ tiny boat or bigjob....or hut in the woods" wont tell you rule one, wear shirts with  brest pockets as you need to keep your old phone  next to your heart, from predawn to keep it alive ... even if only gobbledygook might come through it....

and rule two " lean in" to the season as videostated in that bigjob really does mean all the way which " lean in" of course only fakes

real leaning in means  dangling over the precipice above the shitpan 

because you can

and you learn every day new dances to make the tightrope

taughter

and less fraught

but it takes time

And knowing you will never entirely know every little glitch comes along ... or if it is for ' good' or not so...

Now i nearly got to "eureka" yestermorn, even if they in this day of everything hyped

 especially a few showers

Must be via them Metros turned into two days of amber warnings ....

That eureka will be as usual dependent

(ohh poor thing they can never listen I am sure at least 100 times over 3+ years

 " relative is the most important word in this weird useless language, our younger people maybe even you have been taught not what it can do for you but what you can do for IT by playing with it lovingly  like a 'rescued' puppy .. snuggling it and lolloping around with it  finding its real boundaries and attempting to guide other blind dogs oops thats a bit rude but it may be playful  [ thats a point i think she is the only one who doesn't have a "rescued" dog  - always in the introductory first sentence my my there must be a LOT of doggieabusers out there,...its rife, pandemique..pandemoniac.. loadsa 'dog shooting'  - got that in too i think i made her laugh .... . yes i told hertoo about the meat ...god my rhetoric is perfect as you must weave in first 'another woman yesterday with a terrier she said to me " god i am so lonely as if i mention his diet to my sisterhood in their Guradian Colour Supplementary expensive attire...addicted also  to Waitrose finest with all the doubtless toxic seedoil and snakeoil other 'human' rated ingredients..for their mutts that yes you alone can see has CHANGED him back to being a mutt.....  theyll never speak to me again.." ...so you weave in that story to bolster the next story as i have been doing nearly 10 years .... ]..

...so she must be very very very mean  not deliberately putting an ad on Fakebook where they fake book the next rich owner the last one bored of their poor mutt, or more likely other alf it taking two to DOG.... " Im 'reaching out' to the universe... needed.. a recue dog so i can add that to my profile"

Anyway i realised yes....

("your place of bein bred ... well my last many year region twas obvious their incame and remained nervy neurotics didnt work for them all the misslaid single gloves all around the lanes but my my they have nasty ones here.... anyway we know its nothing to do with us and if your brother is the megga Howard Marks i heard last week sorry but....  just DONT tell anyone.... i know...its so obvious....but i am years beyond caring ...now where were we ohh yes you REMEMBERED my query....have i gone back to 1976 and the real one i have found at last...?. " )

SO yes even if i not spoiler alerting ANY ending ... as who knows what

At east at last i can sum up in one sentence what one may indeed have been searching for but had absolutely no idea in years of pathway mutterin' to onseself...

what it IS.... it

There is just one simplest it

NO 'relationship counsellor' or mindfulness guru would even remember...

cos they complicated everything by not actually living

through all the ones - many a dozen probably hundreds in ten years... relatively..... so up their own bum they can't even remember to.....

be continued

And spoiler alert i divert...

SO perhaps may have woven a slight nest of vipers to cover ones tracks

But the real journey to The Uttermost is far more interesting even if all along it was indeed just Proust..

For the majority.

soon.

But the problem is so many things are woven into actual pilgrim's progressing along so many dead

ends 

up in the very Uttermost  End

I mean as bad as the way one was driving very occasionally past "HMS ...something or other but it wasn't 'Sterling Lines'... it was something far crasser and grosser for a few years like "HMS Gobbleup" or the like ... Magnus perhaps......i have the photos along the side of the road to the town of supermarkets they did all go to...

another day

where for several years there were roadworks as they expanded HMS Deathstar  infact they should have just named it HMS No Rags as only grown up Afghans get to get all ragged.... and murdered children never have that privelage...

All plotted in West Horrorfordshire...20km from my past 8 year region.....where the endless stream of stupid luvvies became a gushing roar  from Niges emmo'16 of " ohh my its such perfect ethical lovely Guardian approved swetness and only lovely  'community' of only loads of others like me..and all my new neighbours are utterly the sweetest people ever"

"really.." (if you can read you know the nuance of that one word)

ok preaching doesnt work....  

But i know what does. 

And soon it is time to go all the way.... If i can make her smile, there is hope...

 

It must indeed,be called The Bridge of Lurching Across Forever

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Now..

i have zero interest in #vanlife

 but... there are ways of weaving in USEFUL story into that which may indeed assist the paupers at the bottom

That is a worthy cause that i shall be improving upon the next few weeks

And has its own new stand alone page

no ads no cash makes me more 'creative'

thank you

https://www.ralphschism.com/p/vanlife-crybabies.html

Now...

(boring polemic back to far more on the edge edgy real slam poeticals soon - especially as i have the guts to show his fat dead ones.... for all to see) 

There is no 'divide'  - so much to add in to that unplanned theme to 'bolster' the argument that's no argument just fact.

That maybe 95% are so so materialistic they can't even ponder being on the dole without a thousand quid flatscreen in the corner..

Etc

Now i have a fine chronicle of this.... even the so called precariat ('my' people..) putting their noses up at quite adequate oldish bicycles that can be fixed very easily

But of course the one that all so called journalists cannot deal with is which long term 'disabled' need the slimming treatment via their disability payments trough being grabbed away from them and which not...

(they will never tell you just how GENIUS clever claimants are almost to a one.. even if their social workers patronise them withy tea and cake once a week and never help them find the work i tell them that the claimant screams half the day for weeks  they WANT)

But then there is are the 'good burghers..'  - and in smaller rural communities the one who gets a free pass and free cake is the vic, or in the particular 'case study' to come her hubby...

Free house... free loadsa stuff...   but far more important kudos.

Now... just before i headed to the PP i discovered something so interesting, just how truly talented a 55 year old chap was who for years had been signed off mentally disabled...

And when i say comedic talent as good as the greats Mayall and Alexei.... i do not exaggerate as they were REAL Britain before the wonkies came back....

And i have at least an hour of film of him... 

And then i have a film of how just such a paid good burgher who was his paid friend... was told just how truly talented he was ....and how maybe he should be assisted off the dole and into just trying to do what he wanted.... as he had told me and my camera...

and if there is enough 'footage' over time, well it can't lie..

And any three year old pondering voting Nige well nor will they to themselves.... 

yes we really do have a problem...

BUt nobody dare point the finger to who is suited and booted by never doing what it says on their posters around town espoecially when they are told so carefully what a so called 'disabled' man wants and is clearly capable of as many around also knew....

to be cont

But now there is a purpose... they need to be MADE to take part.

And politics we are all so so above..is just the gentle art of persuasion.... 

As i said to...gosh i speak with too many " as Lyndsay Anderson of If the great real changeing movie... would say to his best mate who told me " its about the art of sticking your finger up at em all.......but always with a clean fingernail.."

which is where my stream-of-consciousness  fans come in.... i need traffic merely as fingerdirt prevention thats all you are

 so suck on it.... soon

please

Righty ho now i know what the PURPOSE even if thats the key to finding one: giving up

 knowing there's NO hope and bodily embodying it for some weeks...

Onward Christian soldiers as they will be NEEDED.

.but if you think Musk will ever get you there this century try using Hewlett Packard AI just to get your free laptop in.. THE day the warranty expires.

Thank god that text didnt come in....too

Right thats THE end Times as it will take all the time in the whole of next month to fill in just recent gaps....

But now i know why.... 

Just do NOT woolf Virginia!

I know what to call it!

 even if that Serb one really should be credited... but her name a mouthfull.

sulkiest insouciance..(even Oggle knows how to spell that'un)

so yes.... 

Now 

Nothing not one word is 'inspired' by anything here even if here

Now..

Let the annals say

I KNEW there was no answer....to him.

Even Suzi his knobsuckin' sisterhood agrees..

And she agrees with my recent analysis yes blame the ferkin Chrets...

They are going to 'gift' it to them...

Its quite Tim Stanley astonishing

Even astonished me whom nowt does

(except her the seventy two year'n ago perfect woman born)

But yes nothing from here gets to me in any way and even if a secret paradise even the walker woman yesterlunchtime saw through as "cult" central its all Utterly irrelevant except solidarity (i hope they know what it means) means one of two fine born'nbreds this far dallyin' with...said " its just the dumbing down... shittiest education ever" and i hope she isn't poking her nose in here as its PRIVATE ..my real life...all the rest my real passion but this is life...and i am LOYAL to THE job no matter what fake icon is looking over me...

And rescuing hedgehogs

Anyway its not deliberate central justification but 45 mins of laptop battery to do 3 hrs of work uploading and hashtagging means not a second to figure why its gone wonky maybe it was the crash on the way up....

So yes the education she may well have moaned one fairly ok moaning line that is moaning " ohh woe is me ohh for a room of my own.."

But REAL babe writers of the turn of the last century - the Frog one ...Collette and even the Polish one around late 1800s never mind the one from the land where in the 1980s a load of truly fucked up neurotic madwomen sisters of 'Christ' as about half of them are couldnt say  'sex' in public despite being university professors speaking in public so decided to invent an invented word 'gender' as they cant deal with their own wayward crotch so need to invent a male crutch... in front of their students.. (fact)

yes Edith Wharton... REAL writers rather than the absurd moody one who put herself out of her misery,  when great writers live on until every last bitterest red end of the day and wake the fuck up the nexterdawn to make jokes about the last one... but would have done something about not having a 'room of ones own' I'm quite sure Colette would have gaily  enjoyed berating any bloke in her way " i got a crutch, and Pigalle is just up the road... either i get MY room and you may enter nown again if a good boy ..or I'm off...and while you're at it i do love the smell of Gitanes on your breath only real men are flavoured so...but try and find the time to toothbrush nown again as its best if an occasional treat  [uggh my other regret La Rue six Juin 2023.. but i didn't know i would see her immediately! i thought it would take months! ] "

And then the ONLY decent British writer of the last first half of the century Herbert...

Want educating just read ALL of Bates... all especially the obscurer ones..

And ignore the sexually confused David Herbert...

Anyway thats a waste of time as nobody can read...

 

Anyway now IT ENDS no more pilgrimages up hills unless i can find a Zane who likes men who need a lift, as many impoverished yokels sometimes do,  more than herself...

Only because and i never say "eureka" but as Homer's reliable old woman jabs her finger in my eye tryin' to make it red ...no thats not very slam poetic but...

There IS a solution

I hadnt even dreamed of until now

I may have to amend an audio to deal withy the confusion of That Sultana... But that's not the point. The point is even them are no way willy enough to know how to deal with him..

Suzi knows i am but i didn't have the vehicle until thisterferkin dawn the very moment

Now... so so much is in the metaphorical 'can'...

But first i have to figure then tarting procedure i.e. max traffic per hashtag which will probably fail .. i mean my readers are so thick they can't even take in that this one has so much traffic per unhashtagged page that i could ruin it with adverts but dont as i am pure.... so 'donate' i never say means pay the fuck up...above... as i cant afford a fiver for a coffee in the rudest coffee shop i have ever been to in my whole life... whole life not just of late

But one cannot live on free bread alone even if i am genius at living well on nothing.

There is a defining moment due in a few years ... that is already defined..(so says Tim Stanley as good as) .unless.

Right full time... tomorrow (hard rain all day)

after 2 hrs here

every killerjoule has been harvested and curated into what next...soon

 ( i need her though... Mrs chat about dad's dick,  quite naturally...... she alone has the ...what it trakes....to save this land... for our kids)
 

but not 100% perfect even if getting back to a few notes

 thanks to the fierce backpacker before first light

reminded me uts the way they need to press their remote controller from as far away as possible....

as the Zaneish one did a few days ago me innocently quietly meandering down a sidestreet of Upper Source  the worst cliche if em all ... and a 75grander ugly steely cleangrey  Discovery in front of me  flashes and clunks loudly   .. not much startles me ..

But turning, startled ..ohh its her . .

just like Zane 18 years ago the first one ..flouncing around dumpsville Hay backstreets all au naturelle supermodel harmony hairspray.... all nature girl come to recreate herself  ( i Discovered years later) ... on extorrted cash from their dad  left behind down in the smoke

that still had aged her face beyond  what all them natural creams n potions couldnt mask ....

none of my biz except the way they flounce, predating the good ole fashioned country lads .  

usually married  since ladhood to local lassies .. . and my my the anger and hurt it causes within saud humble local lassies   

....as theyre just so so desperately lonely ...desperate for ..  so fair dinkum  its a free world 

vut its the way not one ever  dare even share patent leather booted reality  jackbootin down a dead end kington high st ...

Jenny D... fair game as everyone knew what she did with hubby's  swiss bank cash .... fake "charity".... and her gardeners ... 

...    despite running the local yoga  Temple

and then sold the 8 million quid horrorfordshire  spread ( fake charity) ...actually TOO  actual Pornhub before running away .. 

i still have the pics of her  boots....

but then she was only copying Zane and her black Rangerover   

parked up in town  she never actually ranged from ..as no local farmboys to charm up on the hills they say they come for...

ehh yep what was the memo .. ohh yes

remember even the seeming au naturelled

she had me fooled   

all straight out if the Guardian Colour supplement instruction book on how to money launder  the Monsanto  shares or mummy's L'Oreal trunk up in the loft.

but the comedy ( not here, back there, far more interesting!).. even Suzi ..older Discovery shes always driving...alone ... thought nobody ...notices... them

even sometimes wonders where their cash comes from...

and i had no idea ... she never mentioned the Bahamas connection ... ( dying... and inevitable next will) until yesters...  how clever... her mind razor sharp despite all the Camparis... and hocus pocus   

 god real Britolin is SO much more interesting ... if you wait for it to peek out from under the covers  it theme parks like Hay on Wye or  even worse ALL bbc radio drama ...

or the pets of King Charles  

well teained spaniels

like the dreadful Stoppard... 

... ...to be cont

"Basquiat...!!"

 I " care" even Moor...

Now....

Even of its been 5 1/2 years of pain ...Ms yes muzz " case study" audio riffed upon a few weeks ago...

( i may SO SO care to entertain my reader i yesteraft tolerated half an hour evensong battery chargin' in hell so i can get up today the ' counter' culture merchant of..nothing but condoning horrid chemical drugs to your kids via his BBC fame and major publishing deal..plus how to survive the cold with no cash so happily always....all 9n video in my can for a werk but they need some hashtags and the like...which takes up so much time pondering.   . but i aint got enough to go back here and find the page again.... and actions speak louder than words  theres me getting on with my arty gonzo stream if pure clean springwater here yestermorn and nobody causes me to divert back to human face to face interaction.....  cos a battery charged in the oldest sickest laptop doesnt last long ..

...but someone did ..

thing is .... so, hop over the last few bizarrely glorious months... 

My ' enemy' Ms Case  Study ... in live with Nige ... still harking on about 2016 being some New Age of civilisation...

I was ready to reveal yestereve to her in the correct language  if the poets  mated with Volters and even Thomas Paine ..." suzi did you mean it 5 years ago when you said you will die  within a decade...?" 

" cos .. well if you alone get first edition of my jottings about reality the last decade well it just may cause you not yo believe in your demise ..i want to keep you alive..its GOOD to debate with you and make you the fiercest creature ever extant solo princes child of a Surrey Major   . . laugh so often by jabbin you where it hurts   .. and our 5 years debates [ all recorded for her posterior]  are better ' dialectic' than  pathetic Socrates or Sam Harris could ever imagine ..and they have worked!!... the laughter proves it.. the first year if you on point on message slammin yer phone down at the smallest nuanced' ehh i dont buy YOU luv ' . through me bridging to your best friend of 30 years bongo Sarah [ in more ways than an old rustbucket] you sacked ... all of it.... it proves there is no ,'division' ... only shared simpler  humanity we both know even if you fant say those words  .. " etc

its much better than this firstest peek

But the answer . ..the elixir .. for real ... i had no idea that The Source and surrounding sourceletts  was quite so WELLNESS  ...

all they can say in their glossy posters  ...

fascistically demand    

well i saw 43 years ago  https://www.simonclayton2020.com/2025/11/who-on-earth-are-you.html?m=1

meandering Europe solo backpack around Swiss German border  in them foothills of them Alps 

i still remember as if yesterday some grey concrete shack on a deserted byeroad looking so desperate for attention and unloved unused.. a neon sign aftont  " wellness" 

and i knew that second it would not end well.

However the ending is   ( many ...in fact almost exclusively fab   Eurobabes i walk and talk with the last two years they all say  this self indulgent claptrap and really crap word  didnt really gain traction throughout the EU...

but of course the Magpie  'nation' that still believes in ' nation,' went and hobbled it up wholesale  to retail it at absurd price... for something that doesnt work

define " work":

( every Britolite  babe i get to know a bit has " issues"  vant sleep needs supplements just to ' wake up' [ even conjob bbc did a full happyclappy metrosexual-laddish chummy chap,  'deep dive' into and found theyre all a CON 6 mths ago]  to nothing but their ' my memory is terrible' )

i know fact ...theres no point speaking with ANYone ..ever...

about anything serious or real on Sourcelands    and where they infected from 17ish years ago my former region... theyre all Teletubbies overdosed on Huxley's Soma but too stupid to even remember that fine book .. 

but silly me i still ocasionally act as if she may be the one hope..

and there i am ALL my lifeforce being thrust into this  .. loada caca...

but i break off and ...

during the sermon

" ohh the one who sells for millions....b ..b ohh no cant remember ....."

now not only do i never like modern art having tried.... but silly Banksy+ stuff saying nothing is even worse .  

always blaming others    etc...

this chappie maybe a decade ago i briefly perused ... ok something..  but not millions of quids worth...defo a diversity hype.. 

now the elixir ..  not only as the true glorious one agreed do women 50+ not know thats when they REALLY get actually sexy .. but of course are all terrified theyre going to have loadsa black holes in their head from Altz- dim   

... thing is i am dim ..  often ... even if i have almost perfect 30  year recall    

but to also awake 0430 thisters and immediately have his name  i stumbled on  sermonising her jump in as if yesterday ..

in otherwirds perfect short term memory,too .. as long as one sleeps seven hrs... (too bored lastereve yet another fake didnt message   to bother staying up to normal puritanical 9ish)

however... even my worst ' enemy'  i cant get through her hocus pocus ...  " no its in the stars.." 

" suzi    ... decline.... ending up old gaga  duffer ... the key is     unfortunately as you know how i live by pure zen monk near silence 85%  of the time and in naycherr.... when one can be bothered say the dangerous real things...  the knife edge ones they wanna stab you for [ threatening their house resale prices if truths are known as even she a property price obsessive knows is true from presteigne kington Hay. ...and HIM ..  ]... that suzi keps the mind so rediculously sharp  and mojo 105   ...it surprises even me ... it us REAL wellness even you brainwashed into believing their bullshit soma ..."

 

their wellness does this to you

mine...works

but it may lead to years if butterflies rather than in your head,  in the stomach trying yo make you throw up ...

from fear of have i...... offended or said something not in even her ' script' 

 the other missing word: I womder if those fine Germans have it?

but what were those words the papermap woman used on me yesteraft? my my cannot anyone take on facest value a most valuable compliment...

Do come back...

 few if in fact no walking companions put me in an even better mood than i always am... 

and she went n diverted me from absolute cast iron plan ohh yes what was that asterisk i near forgot...

back in a min

 i do have so many readers who hang on every word....

aggh what was it...  thoughtloop back... an even smoother than ever helterskelter you discover there is just ONE left...

" road trip!!" and ...that wonky old one "love"

 ....now if anyone even a few years ago had said to me, as i said to her, then... that

 " well 'tused to be that most days you awoke mojo 105%  .. and a rare 95.."... as was that winter - the one three back,  we were up all night having "mammoths"... her wonderful word... of course the tragedy just like when a man doesnt know his worth (audio before last of the last one i can't recall despite truly good memory...) her use of the language only ever magnificent.....despite self-brainwashing, ever her lithe and fabulously hooknosed self that she's somehow ..lacking... bu then i know who's fault it is all them Ruperts and Rafes and all the rest of the thickhead Britolite schoolboys around HAtesville on shitty creek who wouldnt know beautiful expression if it came and smashed a whole in the keel of their absurd pirate boats ...as they had girlfriends from Cheltenham who thought Wutherin' Heights was the height of it.... when it was merely posh Eastenders for sugar addicted young Debs ...

"but now its always 105... no matter what.." i would say "dont be a utopian mad person like all these frauds of their world of 'toxic positivity' [ i will find the link to that book again soon even if we walked past it yesterdusk]... ... I'm the most utopian fool ever extant but there's a line...."

Anyway i have only one OTHER regret to  https://www.simonclayton2020.com/2025/11/who-on-earth-are-you.html

which is that asking Former Sovs - one and a half... being the half her buddy maybe ... " so we all know about The Painted Bird... by a truly revolutionary and simply genius Polish writer clearly with a heart, who did change the Western 'counterculture' a little... many called it their bible back in the day .. early 80s...  so that has 'roadtrip' format ... but do other, say Balkan cultures - their books and films,  have the road trip as metaphorical  model...for of course exploring whats back home and inside the homebirds..?"  and sadly all i got was a sulk....

But i would still like to know.

Now the ONLY  thing that matters daily is quiet.... and i have my territories perfectly mapped out...

how ever....

ohh yes the only other thing that matters is i didnt even get it in yesteraft, or morning " as  Neruda so wisely said a conversation does not begin until we have been speaking for at least an hour.."

I know the afterone would have smiled a true sincere smile had i done that usual hatecrime 

line 

(to the ubiquitous "im so so so busy" English...) of a sentence on her...

And the way she filled me up I'm STILL in a terrible 110% mojo state

which is akin to 'love' as i am very very very prejudicial on that one  - what it is

(prejudice to continue soon so many are in 'drafts' still to add to a bit then [press publish even if theres no point.. except my mojo which i was able to share at last with ONE worth it... " get doin' a Pru..." i know she listened...and i hope she will...and i never lie " road trip to go get you a wild handsome Peruvian mountainman ...or even finer smiley  Bolivian bloke... and in return you can ...[censored due potential ...well i know she would... and surprise must be the element...] )"

Anyway....

now as i meander ... as she said " i just speak with anyone i meet.."  what a perfect one! And you can see the cure in her eyes...

For a decade nearly...

I say " one third of the time i do causes - EU and eco the last 13 years almost full time, one third of the time he-human jobs, tough outdoorsy NO safety equipment  outdoors work any human can do but the women dont any more, they waste their energy on showoffnags or nagging but never help the bloke hold the post as he's whacking in HER horse's fenceposts... one third of the time i try to write let-go fullsomely.. one third of the time time to walk and even be at the sea where the quiet coves are... but as regards items 1 2 and 4.... obviously a play on words no English can get any more (as we let the yanks in having SO much power  - soft power on our radio  - radio 4 must now be almost 50% YANK SMUG EXPERT CONTENT ALMOST ALL FEMALE.. acc cap even if it needs to be as really i have catalogued 15 years of this, their creeping in*..and running the schools even... and yanks cant allow words that may require one to have to think as their only setting is if there isnt an immediate two faced false smile the interlocutor must be so hostile they need actually shooting... when a real human knows its the opposite...)

Anyway ... just in case i get shot now i have infact most unusually given my url to three wonderful women in 36 hrs... all as seemingly wonderful communicants and ... god only knows what 

only one i didn't say " please i am VERY VERY quiet and keep only to myself and what i may write has NOTHING to do with anywhere local at all... but ignorant morons will assume its about them so my pages are just for you.."

And me not saying that to her is obviously the greatest compliment in that for some reason i felt she was.. the sweetest smiley human and totally trustworthy..

probably wrong ohh well...

Anyway i have little interest in this country as even ten years ago none would understand the following.

(the Pru-fan one i so adore in every way we even hugged reminded me - and its NOT her 'fault' it merely is change..) 

SO a decade ago as per the Pru-fan, even if she needs a much better nickname in my head as i give everyone just friendly knicker ones... which she full well knows is: the most fabulous sex bomb of a 70plus year old ever ever ever extant... no matter what her accent.. reminded me yes of something .. that is literally everything.

A decade ago like her i walked and walked .. but for 30 years deliberately quite aside from the Prus and fans and most peeps...  so few to speak with.

If i did my normal thrice weekly 10km+ circuit up to Herrock Hill via sheepwalk [valley]  nobody...  maybe once a year the mass exterminator badger killers (i would discover in 2020) would be seen at their no-planning permission woodland cabin... just aside sheepwalk hidden in the woods...  so the Audis didnt glint and give them away...

Anyway ... sheepwalk has three largeish semi-natural (sort of bolstered by add on bits of damn over the centuries) many decade old lakes ....  

Liars often called Rupert Martha or  other ex private schoolgirl names like that who con radio 4 they are homey and au naturelle get on wireless 4 to tell you lies " my little grassroots nature saviour scheme is so successful.."

The purpose is only to be in the media saying these things..(as i told her she laughed)..  as the data confirms: only gradual decline the last decade accelerating of bird life.. vertebrates just as bad.. 65 maybe 70% all gone in the last 50 years...

Rupe Marth Cammie all failed...

One of the major litmus testers is herons.. go and speak as i did in 2010 with lovely TRULY tight old couple Chris and Rchel who quad around together still in love as they have a hobby of FIGHTING also for the rights of nature not to be shot by hooray Henrys on adjoining land... 

Anyway as he said to me (lifelong but very worldly farmer of upper Llanigon in theory away from the invading Henries below)

" twenty years ago if i walked up to my higher fields at dawn there would be at least ten heron sneaking a quick fishing session at the brook that is one side of my fields... the last decade i rarely even see one.."

FACT

i trust Chris and Rachel as she also holds him to account not to bullshit which is what a helpmeet is for... and vice is versa..

ANyway ff me up sheepwalk i would notice from about 1km the one and sometimes two heron that clearly lived there would spy me (they are so so second sight  - the REAL 'animal spirit' version that keeps them alive - when mad false shamaniac so called nature loving fat townies invade their hills and leave bits of toxic plastic cauldron all over the place..) " buggers its as if they have radar vision... immune to even my not very red indian stalking..." 

Anyway feeling sorry for myself just a bit over the years though never showing it or EVER saying so... i neglect THEIR needs. The way nature and evolution works (even in small false 'nature' loving smalltowns like Hay in wild places the babes mainly run off to be closer to Harvey's Knicks....so its at least several blokes per available fanny ... which causes sourness and sadness maybe even Gayness? ) is rules of resources ...

available fishies when undisturbed by nasty 2 legs.... hardly any

" wow its my lucky day i know i am going to die tonight of malnutrition if i dont spear that one minnow left in sheepwalk lake..."

ff a few mins

" but two legs is more likely to kill me- i see him yonder he thinks he's sneaking round me but im cleverer... so i better bolt into the blue and safety.."

Its last thought as it later  that morn  died of malnutrition

BECAUSE OF ME

nobody else, me

as i already knew how perilous their plight waseth...  but my own justified self sorrow stopped me remembering ..always means most of the time

so... gradually over several years of (i never use the word 'healing' from nothing but mad torture of mad people...i start to think of others not just my own sorrow and most days would skirt well around The Heronry... as no matter how much i adore them and their squawk... they dont adore me... for good reason

(ohh yes wow i forgot about the v v arty photos of the dead one here i think maybe not.....soon.._)

Anyway its the same with...

Now as of  7 or 8 years ago EVEN in my extremely almost wilderness place i chose to be occasionally a Rupert would be around with his drone.. i mean once a year.. i lived in a region by choice of as close to wilderness Woodlanders romantic hermitude and peace and nature as is possible...

But even there one day Henry sent his drone nosing around..

Now to THINK and be philosophical one needs to be partly free of distraction especially if one wishes to write a tract to show up how the fat so called nature lovers who invaded but usually they run away crying back to Wolverhampton or Cheltenham (main base for hookers in W Midlands..maybe not a coincidence)

...and know what nature is: NOTHING... endless amazing David Att type fabulous complexity..but nothing...  we may learn from as we have complex language unless English privo school ed... which caused a cultural construct which is in almost all instances stronger a force than most basic evolutionary forces..

In other words some fat bluehair says " i am saving the River Arrow.." in an age when one cannot say " ehh so is your chemical hairdye part of that saving, grace you also say you have..." even VERY nicely as i said to the true beauty yesterlunchtime but NICELY i like her..!! they spend the rest of life thinking of how to get you arrested...

nature does little to assist knowing how to be...human..and i know as i have spent years communing with it alone in wild places...

ANyway back to what matters - as maybe just one fable/metaphor..

Yes there were genuinely innocent times and nobody should go back years and whip their own arses (what the hookers of london say is the main request from English public schoolboys - i did a chronicling period with a few of them  a couple of decades back when i decided " no way ever touch an English oner again.." as she yesteraft agreed with me"!.. incidentally meeting the most honourable woman by far i have ever known.. Jasmine..i will never forget her truth and honest honourability...she did prove was not just words.. the last time we met maybe 17ish years ago.. " god....you!! fuck me! ohh yes later..... what an absurd coincidence its been years.... ive just been tellin the last client, about the first time we met that so perfect lovely afternoon when...[ story more valuable than Antigone and Sophoclese put together]  and we laughed so...".)  

...yes so i only accidentally had anything to do with machinery as a young man ACCIDENTALLY... nothing else to do went to crop sprayer school in South Island NZ when we didnt know it was truly apocryphal but never took that up properly (too dangerous in fact - death wish stuff!) so ended up Banararamaing around in small charter planes instead and humanitarian heart transplant etc..

i AM the only pilot EVER in the world ever to have handed back my commercial license

... when my daughter was born and only because i knew a parent would never want to away for even 5 minutes from where their kid is if real parent and also  i knew that higher fuel consumption per person of smaller planes meant that whole thing incompatible with her future... period. THE END

even if slightly allegorical in the way i may say that in shortcut language i just didnt renew things never got in one again and second best decision of life ever 

Anyway to the point - not really 'privileged' at all as it was a funny old world of honour in fact and most pilots - 99% in fact... were from pretty humble background... a career a bit like professional birwatching...and most pilots just as socially inadequate...

But if you have something that buzzes along at a few hundred miles per hr and do in fact as charter pilots (fancy taxis) do especially if delivering parcels,  have many 'dead legs'   - empty plane,  then theres always the temptation if over lovely remote places at dawn as the sunrises alone coffee and fag and  a bit of Barbie on in the walkman..

to drop down and skim...

 and yes its the second most exhilarating and being part OF nature thing one can do... belting along atop sanddunes or treetop at 2 or 300 mph... 

I did it a lot....

all over the world.... 

around extinct volcanoes in the very nasty drug addled [whiteman i mean] West Indies... Alps..Pyrenees all over..

Northumberland one of my fave places - the Cheviots... 

But that was then... when there werent many planes and far fewer of them would get off the beaten track.. most were neurophobes who were too scared to leave official 'airways'..me i lived only to NOT be in the airways

And i am quite sure someone dawn walking in woodland or even the one time only  i buzzed a girlfriends country pad her neighbours would have been 

 almost  enlivened by seeing such a curiosity above...maybe once a year at most

As her... my my i am jealous to have been in small spotter plane low down on THE NAMIB...all my life the ultimate dream...

THE one place i wanted to go..

But its almost as if she had been there for me...

And not just growing up but in fact being human is a changing cultural construct that the Ruperts and Cammys... now will never know about:  " i stopped... if someone gave me a free learjet and the whole of Namibia now for a whole day to play in lowdown ...i would not.... not even if...[other one and only dream]... no... yes.... i was lucky  not that we knew then....i could do that when there were so few of us it was no real disturbance to the quiet country lovers ... but now  the S coast of Cornwall just one example is ruined by hundreds of Ruperts with their fucking drones... entirely unable to think of other humans.... and yes the girls are on that gig too now every vanwoman filming herself gotta be in a  WILD place from her drone... saying NOTHING!...stop.... even i did.... yes i had a turn but sorry..it was just a twist of time..fate...if you all do it now theres no nature or wild left ever again... "

Not one now....could even understand (so its over as even thisterdawn proves so so quiet,a  byroad....a mad woman testing her rally vehicle with a  convoy of accompanying vans  so loudly for hours!..back and forth full throttle.of course she is entitled..of course...she has a 100 grand special version and special rally stickers.. she will likely be planning or training for some special 'charity' challenge across a desert that doesnt need her to challenge it to shut the fuck up as its always quiet.....of course she is entitled i am sure the few houses along her  route this morning  - well at least a  dozen spear out into the hills ....all say as the selfish cunt awakes them all from 630ish ...and if any local sees i have written this as her team doubtless spend hundreds in the local pubs theyll stab my types at best... thats what the countryside became... their hooray Henrietta even now.. playground and they dont even know that noise and antisocial behaviour ....doesnt just come from underclasses in council houses... ) 

BUt i know she would

right SUCH a diversion so many draft bits to get back to for here now no more wonderful diversions...!!

full time ignoring everyone..they ignore me even when obviously suggested to them " i DO of course have so many stories for you to turn into magga bucks art attacking the rich peeps who fuck the environment far more per peep than the paupers....... and you can have them all for...free... "

 

 

*

THE RULE

even if i break it occasionally myself

wintertime between showerytimes just walk

even when you have pages of her glorious words ...fabulous scholarly  attempts .....

to change the subject there being only one: why can't she ignore my manipulative jokeysedition ... the ultimate joint enterprise " gaslighting " via  her own sword turned on her ...to slice the straps holding up, her fabulous heaving one.....

continues and is FAR more thrilling than a dull brownman spending 3 years from dawn attacking via "half paki" poetry to quote hiswords  when he was gaslighting them being only a mere half Punjabber imposter   

and anyway 3 years of fozens of the rudest loving text known to humanity all he really wanted to do was get me to reply using " his" n word....

which would gave been a fraudulent identity theft too ...as he isn't

either metaphorically or by skintone

or soul.

just a shabby builder to the slave owning class which so so endure espesh all the sw . errata his SW

rule 2 i always read everything properly eventually

The Bush on the todo list for days..  

with a Mong  toughlovemessage cycle to be repurposed as  actual good example of fine woman....  who can

change

 

and then ehhhhhh.....

"REALITY"

 

Now i only put that short title or page search word for future ref as REALITY is i am always full time from 0530 every morn and there is so much shit to come down his brownman (I LOVED especially when i heard THE great song 2020 the year our Lord brought the only last great brown hope...  " Mav when i heard our joint dodgy God had hidden this thirty years.. 

the wordpicture of 'facedown with his head on the plate' its YOU..he had second sight of your beautiful smiley face  drunk falling asleep in a plate of his own gastronomic pasties.."

) shitpipe... builder to the richbitches HE doesnt 'bite his teeth' when buildin for down Pasty Land.... he smiles and sucks their....

But revenge would be if only he knew....

One must NOT judge as despite judgin' me many a morn with extremely long  texts of sermons  from HER 'MOUNT' which i know they are and she knows i know...what a MONS is for.... (heavin')

And i'm sure i have tried the best line on hertoo....

"singin amazin' grace all the way to the Swiss bank..."

But she keeps coming back for more...a  year now..... 

I mean put it this way, if one lined up every genuine Serbian "warrior" woman  (thats a point what happened yesterday Serbia keeps getting in the news  - my pathetic small life is so rich too much keeps sneaking along and disturbing my flow and careful chronicling everything..later) and every single one screamed "ne" (you can use nemoj (informal) or nemojte (formal/plural) ... and if she wandered by the glorious South Afrcan   (who is worth the effort the EFFORT she goes to sending me longest harassing texts in all her Christendom) chrétienne   

if they were read out assuming they can "LISTEN" our recent text duelling they would all throw down their alms in disgust at the pathetic  backfiring failed operation to be the most glorious woman ever in history who tries to battle off the advancing army of one...

But is addicted to The Crusade...the only one there ever was.....to the death.... or...

will the Trojan Horse ever get unwrapped as xmas pres i know she... wants....

yesterday 1230 i have solittle battery i still dont know if photos show time and date too.. 3 years on

 " only if i can tie you up on it ...and you can DIY if you want to remain his bit on the side... already you are as deathcult erotic than any one ever extant....... "

Righty ho now the ultimate giveaway is to give away danger...

In that evidence and supporting audio recordings ALWAYS protect as mine are so fuckin' obvious how dodgy all the incomers were....especially this crowd, of potential  actual murderers (a yoga vegan eatin' deathcult of faceliftees  -and their lift was broke many complained at thattoo)...but getting them out is so so time consuming of my only resource, time...to charge.. then charge

all for no charge 

using covert voice recordings as prophylactic, and sex aid. REAL BRITOLIN. MY real alive philosophy better than dead alcoholic Alan Watts's. ('duellity' or dualpurpose) REAL eco successful 'actions'.

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/using-covert-voice-recordings-as?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

so yes putting up only PART of stories and all that is dangerous in reality but also the fantasy of any reader here caring and you will assume the worst... so i am self harmin' meeself to bein'  prejudiced against as you'll assume the full story when they arent... 

hashhtags to put in later payman cult

earhthworm

and a few more... 

I was writing the above then ...

i thought i must have crossed her line last one out to her....

but even before 9am her on RB duty....  crusadin' against my seditious words that caught her knicks down as she well knows no matter what 'Peter' may have said millennia ago...to oppress babes like her....

... so so so much more thrilling, her sins continue - two new ones i discovered without a doubt to add to her big ten..

so i am late again in the schedule so many bits to fill in but i have to sit and figure which are here and which of many many more, not...yet

(but of two other subphilosophies one i always forget,  the other: what you do NOT see is often far more interesting than what you do.... e.g. when such a 1000+ popular facebook friends bloke kicks the collection bucket in the church even HE was conned into joining as he was never Mister Integrity it seems... ... how come he only has ONE RIP on his Fakebook wall...? i am astonished...i dont understand....) 

"pre..."

 ...judice"

a curious word.

"judgement before "

( ohh i found her... the warmpredawner)

Now...

My own worst ever instance of several years of knowing that that intelligent arthouse  movie on THE  list...will be only for a moment of total desperation 

yestermorn i began to fully write up with research and pics ...

Not that one can ' research' anything i mean as the number one  Chret said finishing my sentence " Tonkin" ... nobody even knows if that was the Vietcong or Yanks predicting even... why " even"? Obama, the biggest spender on new military industrials....

And i took my lass to see his black face on every Evening Standard, open on the tube that evening ... a quick dash to a bonfire in some brownerpeeps part of the country...

to see history

But they still cant say  decades on if it was the Yanks self harming their own battleship so as to claim Mr and Mrs Winnish false victimhood

For a payout down the line

Anyway i know what prejudice is the real only version there  is regardless of a genda...

when one is in the extreme minority of about 3 peeps, over one of my 25 km circle territories   who are recognised as someone who will care and step by step attempt real " community" protection of say Titley Pool nature reserve that Horrorfordshire nature  " Trust " just strim IN!! Bee season so any lost Londoner wont get hisher wellies wet in the summer if wandering  the banks of that ok habitat   

and dont care about the megga estate of multiple large SUV owners being dreamed up over the track...

fourt tesco houses ..

i alone got stopped successfully over a decade

as the landowner  and her henchman knew full well may be the case... Even if i yold nobody nearby... as they prejudged my walking and ild bicycling habit down his track

as mad ...nobody else LIVING  around the land ever got out if their motor   

And thus 3 years i lived in fear AND the true hurt of not being able to tell ANYone  about the gradual alternative scheme being pimped out way behind the scenes ...not for profit ever

https://titleyscheme.blogspot.com/?m=1

that did succeed in the REAL plan...

suggest to nice moaning trolls . . my payper neighbours in the cheapseat area . and bourgeois villagers... retired bankers that there is a MUCH more sustainable and Prince Charles compliant possible newspaper  headline a few years down the road rather than " ugly development if 40 new Tesco houses opens to . ..one protestor  in attendance" 

" charles when not shagging  the bit on the side in the side alleys of herefordshire in his caravan - fact, [ i have his monogrammed  beermug my ex 10yrs back did a shit in it i have that too... a work of art... beermug from man who adopted said caravan a so called

 ' green' who had the electticcarshowoff concession at Hay festival 15 yrs ago... and then hung himself].. attended the opening today of a new super sustainable development  in Titley and its going to be In his next 50 quid coffee table book "

so the poseurs of Presteigne can imply they care...

whist just stabbing the one gren in the area in his back trying to recruit them to do what their badges say...

which was a truly genius plot as one thing is guaranteed: suggest to a few slightly ( pretend) greenish  incomers like Shaun  the mad bicycling snob.. that that will get headlines never mind tell them its the  standard moder ' solution' for decades ... find a compromise - fewer more we eco balanced homes  

they will try and recreate a new version of the wheel their way... all hate each other fall out and thr land will not get ' developed' 

which i made a call thistersummer to the land agent back In old region ( recorded i dont lie)  and heard still  not a brick gone down... and anyway only a few granted pp...

i know several want me dead a decade for that...

for not being bourgeois tarts ....

so i know when i am prejudiced

to be cont

so much to do to finish off first draft 

and why Winn R... is a victim of sexist bullying next, no skit .

.but when the sun peeps as in now ..

walk!! 

no walking boots or gear i see us totally compulsory here

( how curious she didnt gave her own yoga mat....  i hope she liked JP .. im a nasty cunt .. just to attempt REAL belly laughter which is as rare as a happy middle aged 'self realised' woman in these parts..... ohh guess why only DOing stuff  for cunts you are prejudice against like the trolls if Titley who one and all are waddlin loonies  and their junkie kids.......makes you an itzy bitzy ...  bit happy...)

"You yucky 'phobe'.."

 Ahahhh as so often i forgot the punch line of the earlier few paras...

HER FAULT

Not Missblaming some entitled warmnight stalker... as its a free country to stop and stare as long as a nice slimmish one and as long as i cant see the yes... 

And what a romantic predawn two atomised soul thing anyway i was midway through getting to the point

free substack made unusually yestereve.. whilst handwashing in the warmth which was just going to be a to-do list to share here but then i rambled on... as i need to get all finished now by boxing day

And the meaning of a "centred" life is to be able to have a lovely late afternoon half hour nap even on a high st even if high but so low in the unfacelifted count its daft and ("as long as i can still do that..") awake second dawn at 5pm in fact cuppa coffee only ever on awaking ...  a second new day splendid stuff always works i think only 'centred' peeps know they will always get their nap in even in Hell-on-High which i a weird way i really like...for one day a week maybe two at most ...but it was so close i so nearly gave her my website... so glad i din't.... even if she was worth my time ..its so important to be 99% incognito...  they hate thought in true Source places... 

ohh yes so i was about to write, i diligently watched Moonlight (2016) when it was released though by that time in fact 15 years refuse to pay ever for any crap films and it was available on some pirate site ...anyway i think you could almost blame it for Trump 1 it was so dire and cloying...

GREAT homo or whatever else art has been around since i was manipulated into being coercively luvvin Frank indeed without one smallest bit of phenotypical constructed gaybone in my bod....even now.. GREATEST ever art gives my bone a twitch ..now still....just lookin' at a true artist 

whom in about '74 i was criminally made to sit quite close to as he pumped his stuff just ion front,  in the Chelsea theatre... and he never traumatised me...

because you knew genius - the real kind....

Anyway i was just about to jot when disturbed so poetically i mean talk about a paradise region - 50km radius of even the most enthralling, fabulous almost vampire-sexy-witchie warmpredawn  watchers... 

nothing gets me out of the 'zone' once i start at ten past wakies.... but she did...

So yes to resume before i was so thrillingly coitus interuptus... 

 

So yes i was about to write: I doubt somehow and will eat my £1 charity shop cowboy Toggi necessary for solo man's work in the 'weather' even if lots of the girls have them too, to merely pose in.... if i am wrong, that in 1000 years there will be some historical  annal about a song that millions listened to on loop for decades about some bloke called Larry.. written as lost love song  ..by say Chiron from Moonlight fame...

And well all the unsayable things that i have a way of the lastish year getting fine  even if UKIPPY women  - scions of the community.... (even i wouldn't publish the latest Suzi chat where she was very sneery of the trans ... they are SO obsessed with and it really is rather a  lot of Reform especially the female contingent.......and by the sound of lastereves so interesting Moral Maze fuck put a bet on... they gonna win! 

its it.... 

and you cannot have it both ways.... 

It didn't even work for my one god Soccers.... well lets put it this way  the problematic woman whipping Dickens or whatever his Missbehaviour was had his Sydney Carton go to the big final stage to kindof prove to his lost true love he was more of a man than Ive ever been or whatever the only great Dickens line is...

i mean basically swapsies..

Whereas we didnt hear of any of Soccers little boys habit...come to his rescue... knock the hemlock out of his hand and say run away with me this is all silly prostratin nonsense... lets go play prostates and forget about all these silly fat other men 

I could be wrong of course.. the way the BBC demand on demand, everyone's gay .. as does EVERY middle aged quite senior lanyardist ive known for 15+ years... 

bet she wasnt thisterpredawn the way i could feel her piercing gaze through my windscreen ....

And at least 50% of my education which was from 30 years ago the Afternoon Play... has been unlistenable to for 3 or 4 years as it seems compulsory to be gay...

or the various other markers of what ('vulnerability' of course and as a truly dedicated counsellor for  virtually free, for a decade of really fucked up the backside state-harmed parents ive never met one.... ) i no longer know...

Anyway we can't talk about any of that....  quite uniquely in the UK... 

(ohh yes a FAR more important one of them in the pipeline from yesteraft and he even called me back! The Chret number 1 that is..) 

THE moment James 'Fun' proved there is no more 'society'. Define daddy issues - you won't be able to. And why Hay-on-Wye is frankly evil... a long time ago. Ohh yes a NEW WORD we do need as its missin

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/the-moment-james-fun-proved-there?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

vaious things need weaving intoa  sane seemin' stream now..

All from the last few months then back to the spring of what a glorious summer and spring

Ivbe been full time at this for 9 months

But the bizarrest of tricks of the night....when in midsummer no time to type or do much here at all.... i have 4000 readers many a day...

And now back to average 400 ...

which is a clear sign of all my efforts are so hated its daft...

But then..(to be cont)